Sad Songs Say So Much (age Twenty-three)

by Juliet Bond

Recently, I heard about a book called, “This Will End in Tears: The Miserabilist Guide to Music.” Because we are on a skintight budget, I hurried over to the local B&N to read it while sneaking
free dollops of half and half into my home brewed jug o’ joe.

I am an admitted sad song junkie.  For years I have been creating annual playlists (once lovingly referred to as mix tapes, then mix CD’s) for my collective of girlfriends in our monthly Dinner Club.  These gorgeous and brilliant dames openly disdain my depressing assortment of suicidal yearnings.  Still, every year I hand out a lovingly fashioned, plastic disc to each something-smells-bad expression on their loyal faces.  (My God, I love my girlfriends!)

Nancy, Shari, Rian and me

Let me explain, sad songs rock.   The right sad song at the perfect time can be the down comforter, broken-in sweatpants, two straight days of movies based on Jane Austin novels, or good ugly cry that you need to get over it, or start to anyway.

At age twenty-three I’d just been through a break up.  The hardest part of that split wasn’t the losing of the guy, who was so wrong for me the actual dating of him was a shock to most of my closest friends.  Let’s just say that he was studying for his PHD in physics while indulging in Dungeons and Dragons-type role-play games on the side.

Perfect for someone, just not me.

We’d gotten engaged and then my subliminal mind kicked into gear, sending me all the way to San Diego for the summer to give myself the space to figure out how ridiculous the whole plan really was.  Thankfully, the guy ended up cheating while I was away and it ended with no grey areas to mull over.

Still, the being cheated on and the calling off of a scheduled wedding were pretty crushing. 

Sad songs were there for consolation.   I blasted Sheryl Crow’s “Strong Enough,” wallowed in anything Sarah McLachlan and indulged in a little angry Alanis Morissette for good measure. 

Fellow sad-song lover, Jeanne and me at twenty-three

Years later, I heard a podcast on NPR about a woman recently dumped who actually attempted to write her own break up song.  For advice, she called Phil Collins, THE Phil Collins.  Sweet man that he is, he called her back and chatted about how his divorce had inspired some of the most awesome tearjerker hits of the 1980’s. 

Watch, as Phil Collins creates a place of comfort where the bloody remnants of a shattered soul once set up house!

You're totally with me now, right?

And I would remiss if I didn’t mention Adele.  To date, Adele has sold over twenty-two million records, jam-packed with sad songs.   I mean every one of her songs is a lament that reaches into your body, clutches your heart and squeezes just tightly enough to buckle your knees but not actually kill you.  And then, somewhere mid-wail, you start to feel stronger, less alone - like Kiss my backside, broken heart.  I'm movin' on.  

For the most part, I can plot my life, year by year, with the juiciest sad songs I blasted over and over and over again, sopping up my snot and tears with a nearby blanket.

1976 Case of You by Joni Mitchell

1977 Song for Duke by Judy Collins

1979 Big year, lots of silence
1980 Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper

1981 Open Arms by Journey

1982-84 Like, all of middle school = The entire Purple Rain album
1985 I Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon

1986 Live to Tell by Madonna

1987 Queen and the Soldier by Suzanne Vega

1988 Only You by Yaz

1989 Gypsy by Suzanne Vega

1990 Waiting for That Day by George Michael

1991 Closer by Jonathon Richman

1992 How Can I Tell You by Cat Stevens

1993 December (The album) by George Winston

1994 You Learn by Alanis Morisette

1995 Strong Enough by Sheryl Crow

1996 Angel Dream by Tom Petty

1997 Baby Mine sung by Bonnie Raitt

1998 Power of Two by The Indigo Girls

2000 Teddy Bear Named Freddie (Lilly) Bear by Justin Roberts

2003 Useless Desires by Patty Griffin

2004 I Will by the Beatles

2005 For Good from Wicked and Emily by Beth Nielsen Chapman

2006 Mary by Patty Griffin

2007 Songbird sung by Eva Cassidy

2008 The House that Built Me by Miranda Lambert

2009 Superwoman by Alicia Keys

2010 You Are Not Alone by Mavis Staples (and the beautiful Nora O’Conner!)

2011 Glitter by Pink

2012 That Wasn't Me by Brandi Carlile

That’s one heavy mix tape/mix CD/playlist.  My girlfriends are going to shove it in their purses and never listen to it.

But it's perfect, for me.

Now, what are the songs on your sad song mix?

The Top Five YA Novels of All Time

by Juliet Bond

Recently, NPR asked its audience to weigh in on the top Young Adult novels of all time.  The final list of 100 books can be found here and a critique of the list can be found on the fabulous Forever YA blog.  Pinning down my own favorites took only seconds.  Aside from The Hunger Games, which contains the most kick-butt teen heroine in the history of bad-asses (sorry, Buffy), I love Jennifer Donnelly’s Mattie Gokey.   Her book, A Northern Light has a more gentle, humorous heroine but she's no less brave.  The book also has a gripping plot (about a real life murder mystery) and a fantastic dash of historical fiction.  I don't know how she did this, but Jennifer Donnelly wrote a beautiful, perfect book.  I love her.  I also hate her.  A lot.  My jealousy knows no bounds...

Next, is Chris Crutcher’s Deadline for the achingly beautiful balance of grief, loss, realism and searing sarcasm.  I wish this man were my neighbor so that I could bring him hot cups of coffee in the morning and talk about politics or people, or flavors of bubblegum – whatever.  I will listen oh, Chris.  I will hear you.

I will also listen to John Green, who wrote a similarly gorgeous book about loss, The Fault in Our Stars.  However, Mr. Green has such a following of post and pre-pubescent fans (who self identify as the "nerd fighters") that I might get trampled on my way to bring him said cup of hot (now hopelessly splashed across the imaginary wraparound, oceanfront porch) coffee.

Winter Girls by Laurie Halse Anderson, takes us inside the teenaged girl’s mind and heart and brings us out again with a sense of forgiveness both for her flaws and for the broken and blemished youths we all were.  I saw Laurie speak about teen girls in fiction when she accepted an Amelia Bloomer award a few years ago.  The snot sodden tissues I left at the table are a testament to how moving she is on paper and in person.

The British originated Georgia Nicholson series by Louise Rennison makes me laugh so hard beverages squirt from my hooter (vair, vair cool!)  I am ridiculously proud that my friend MJ includes me when she refers to her writer friends as the "four aces."  I also recently discovered the American equivalent to this, The Jessica Darling series, which is slightly bleaker but just as much fun.

And last a tie (I am a notorious cheater on lists of favorites limited to only five) between, I am the Messenger by Markus Zucac and The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian by Sherman Alexie.  Both of these books are carried by the voices of self-esteemless, uproarious and wise teen boys.  They are the only books my own teen son has read more than once.  He keeps them next to his bed and has learned to like himself better through the grace of these tender, generous stories.  In short, they rocked his world.

What are your top five (ish) and why?