My Life as an Adverb

People hate me something fierce, it seems.  And not just me.  They hate my cousin, Adjective too.

Don't believe me?

What happens when I sit next to a verb in some writer's manuscript?  That's right, the same thing that happens when Cousin A. J. sits next to a noun.  I get evicted, forcefully and gleefully.  If the writer isn't striking me out then his editor is.  A. J. says it ain't pretty at all when it happens to her.  Well, I agree wholeheartedly.

I remember fondly the days when I was celebrated on television.

Schoolhouse Rock

Why, I've seen some writers come up with entire sentences just to get rid of me.

A couple weeks back my former best friend, Willie Writer, used A. J. and me in the same sentence describing an awfully pretty necklace.  Then somebody has to go and tell Willie that A. J. and I don't belong in that sentence.  Out we went!  Willie used seventeen words to replace us!

Discrimination, I say.  Discrimination!

So you think you've got it bad, do you?  Try being an adverb nestled neatly within the pages of a manuscript sitting on an editor's desk.  Then we'll talk.

Excuse me, won't you?  I'm writing a strongly worded letter to the editor.

Treat Cousin A. J. and me nicely, okay?  And as always, write wisely!

You and I

To all the teachers who taught me grammar I'm compelled to confess...

We're great together, you and I.  For it is only I that accompanies you.  But alas there come times you and I must part and you should instead be together with me.  It's not always easy to see, but sometimes you really should be with me.

No one appreciates you and I.  They only appreciate you and me.  It matters not if they use your name.  For I gets left out just the same.

You and I are a compound subject.  But when you are with me, we make a compound object, see?  For with or without you, I am the subject, but the object is always me.

Our English teachers spent years beating "You and I" into our heads because "you" should always precede "I" when used as compound subjects in our sentences.  They should have also beat into our noggins that "you" precedes "me" in our compound objects as well.

Just remember that whether we're alone or not, it is I that does things and that things are always done to me.

Grammar Girl does a good job explaining this in her
Between You and Me  post. Other references can also be found by performing an internet search using grammar, compound object, and You and I as keywords.

Come August 4th, Myra and I will have been married for twenty-eight years! (I am now bowing to your awesome applause.)  But twenty-eight years ago, wedding gifts were given to Myra and me.

No, I am not an authority on grammar.  I do, however, try to abide by the rules of the language when I know them.  I break them intentionally at times.  I break them without intending to sometimes as well.  As is the case with most of us, I am still learning and will continue to learn.  Let us improve together.

Things With Which I Struggle

As writers, we all have our strengths and weakness.  When we identify our strengths we can exploit them.  When we identify our weaknesses we can watch for them.  I'm exposing myself in this post. (Don't worry, not like that!)  I'm revealing what I believe are mine.

Since I prefer my blog posts to be positive I'll start out with listing a few things that I think are my strengths.  I'll do the weaknesses list afterwards.  It's longer.

• Dialog.  I think this might be my strongest area.  I've been told by several kind folks that I write believable dialog.
• POV.  I'm pretty good at staying within the desired point of view.  I write almost exclusively in third person limited, past tense.  I'm most comfortable with it.  (I've tinkered more with first person lately, however.  Maybe I'm blogging too much?)
• Grammar.  I've got a decent handle on most of the more basic rules of grammar.  (How I ever managed this is completely beyond me.  I literally despised English in high school, a fact to which my grades bear witness.)  I break the rules quite often, but it's usually intentional.  Sometimes it's for effect.  Sometimes it's because I'm still a rebel at heart.

I've listed my numerous weakness in no particular order. If the day ever comes when you find yourself critiquing my writing, you'll need to watch for:

• Wordiness.  I'm too wordy. Period.  This manifests itself in everything I write and requires serious editing to correct.
• Prepositional Phrases.  Somewhat related to the above, these things spew from me like rain from thunderclouds.  (See?  Three of them in the very statement stating I have the problem!  How lame is that?)
• Repetition. I say something.  Then I say it again.  And again and again.  (Get my meaning?)  My thesaurus wants a raise.
• Passive voice.  It just comes so unbelievably natural to me.
• Proofreading.  I read what I intended to say, not what I actually wrote.  I know I'm supposed to read my sentences backwards.  It helps you spot duplicated or omitted words and makes catching typos a little easier.  But really, half my life is backwards.  I rarely do it.
• Commas.  Commas appear in my sentences everywhere I pause, before something I want to emphasize or set apart, when I take a breath, and normally before the word but.  I overuse them.
• Spelling.  This is how I know God loves me.  He gave me spell check!

So, when I post short stories, please feel free to comment on them.  Even those that have been up for a while.  Let me know if you enjoyed it--or if you didn't.  Heck, posting a critique in the comments is fine too!  I've got a thick skin and I like to know what worked and what didn't.  Constructive feedback helps not only me, but anyone else reading it too.

We learn by doing.  And we learn by feedback.  Our biggest weaknesses are the ones we don't know we have!

I'm all done exposing myself now.  What are your strengths and weaknesses?  And how do you exploit or watch for them?