The "Assasination" of CSL

Waliao! Chua Soi Lek got sacked from MCA! For "damaging the party's reputation". After a year and a half. So what if he had an affair? The only problem with the whole thing was him being caught doing it (pun, again, maybe intended, maybe not).

And this fler is supposedly the biggest threat to the MCA president. Talk about taking a leaf outta the pages of The Godfather. Eliminate your threat. Like how Michael takes out Moe Greene, Barzini and Tattaglia. And I thought I was fanatical about The Godfather, having read the original and the 2 spin-offs, watched the trilogy and played the first game!

And this means the opposition will prolly wait at the sidelines, sticking out their necks, waiting for him to bukake on them. But he replied with a "flat no" when asked if he was joining the opposition. Why flat? I personally would like a loud resounding NO. Preferably in B#. But then again, that's what she said* :P

* That's what she said is currently THE comeback in the US of A and meant in a sexual way. I dont get it. I think I used it right though.

Bumiputra

Wahhh some dude came up with the idea of making all those who were born after Merdeka (31st August 1957 for you who doesn't know) a Bumiputra. Brilliant fucking idea.

One small problem. My dad was born in March 1957. So he cant get the status. Hahaha!! Kesian my dad.

The Big Fuck You

I recieved this comment from one Unit Siber Malaysia on my previous post:


Amaran kerajaan Malaysia.Anda adalah dilarang berhujah ataupun mengatakan sebarang isu-isu sensitif seperti politik yang bakal menimbulkan persilisihan faham antara rakyat Malaysia.Amaran ini adalah rasmi dan blog anda bakal ditutup sekiranya perkara ini diulangi.Sekian.www.gov.my



Last I heard, isu isu sensitif concerns racial and religious stuff and I have never written anything about the two. Everything else is fair game.


Therefore, by the theory of Big Fuck You, I have conclusively proven my case and you receive a lil something from me, Unit Siber Malaysia:

New Age Upon Us

Howdy you bastards. To those who still visit my blog (as evident by the morons who type weird stuff on google), thanks for sticking by. To those about to rock, I salute you.. errrr.. Whatever.

Anywayz, unless you were living in a fuckin secluded cave in Malaysia (Gua Niah dowh!), you would know that Malaysia has a new PM. Fuck you if you dont. Even my friends who aren't Malaysians and are overseas know (as evident by 3kc's remark: What Najib? Why not what's the other guy's name....errr.. Owh yea! Anwar Ibrahim. She's in US and not a Malaysian. I'm talking crap).

So, this Najib fler (who is he la????) is the new PM. Took over from what's-his-face. So, his incoming Prime Minister-tial speech had something about 1Malaysia. Like, you know, like one Malaysia, one people, one love kinda thing. Very promising shit, I mean stuff. Haven't heard a thing about corruption from him though. Anywayz, alotta people don't want him as he is suspectably (?) involved in some shady shit. Innocent until proven guilty is what I say.

Yea, so ermm, ermm, he wants to make changes. HAH! Bullshit! Liar liar, pants on fire. Argh, I cant remember what I wanted to say (I'm just writing exactly as I think in my head). But but usual la. These politicians. Say all the nice things and then you realise he just fucked you over. No changes seen in the past few weeks he's been in office.

BUT, now the media cannot mention Razak Baginda's name. Oopsy! How silly of me. I just mentioned his name. This Razak fler is a close friend of Najib. And was supposedly involved in said shady shit. And now noone can mention his name about the shady shit. Only must focus (I like it in BM better: FOKUS) on the two policemen who were sentenced to hang. Cheh, no more freedom of media speech. Eh what the fuck am I talking about? Nothing new kan?

Enuff about Najib. This Anwar fler now. Why is he making alotta buy-elections? BY-elections I meant. Fucker. My dad doesn't pay tax for you to make buy elections ok? Pantat. Eh fucker, who you think you are? Enuff la dey. Dah lah my dad can only send me to Aussie and not US and you waste my dad's money for buy elections. Pukipantat. I can go to bledi US and meet Mr Obama and his new dog ok? And you go and spoil it for me. Noone fucking died so why must sack some sonofabeech (italian accent) and force a buy election. And then BN dont wana fight now summore. Haiz

Your demand for attention something something according to Honestly - Tempered Mental which I'm currently listening. Your bloody demand for attention. The Tempered Mental girl says you and I should be happy and free now, beautiful somehow. You go and make things ugly for what? And Black Label - Lamb of God says something I cant fucking understand even with the lyrics. So why why why?

Fuck you all. I'm layaning the tipsyness as I write this. Dont fucking wonder anymore why I can crap better than you. Because I'm fucking awesome. I fucking rock the world and all you can do is sit down and wank or suck cock. Which I'm pretty sure you're amazing at. I should start blogging more often. Problem is I'm feeling like a Freak on a Leash and I can see, I can see I'm going Blind - KoRn. Jacob Dylan tried turning the engine, but the engine didn't turn. And he lost his only friend. Poor fler.

Finals are on and one last paper to go before Langkawi (hopefully). I miss Tai Ti and I had a weird dream about Left 4 Dead after playing it. My life fucking rocks. So I'm not complaining. Owh the tipsyness rocks better :D

ps: Banana banana banana terracota banana terracota terracota pie yo!! I'm in the Viscinity of Obscenity :D

pps: If you wanna comment, dont fucking tell me I dont make sense. I would know when I read this tomorrow :D

ppps: Love you bastards

How To Speak Thru Your Ass

Lesson one: Find a good role model. Anyone from BN can speak thru their asses. Very well too.

Lesson two: Say stuff like, "dont make a criminal a hero".

Lesson three: Smile like your momma told you to when people start asking you questions.

Lesson four: End of lesson. Now go forth and be stupid


ps: Those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, Mr Home Minister told the public not to make the dude who died in police custody a hero. He said that he's (the dude) a police suspect and therefore is a criminal. I dunno if he runs his own court, but courts throughout the world say that " a person is innocent till proven otherwise". Dunno where Mr Home Minister learnt his shit from.

pps: He makes an awesome role model btw :D

Fuckin funny la!!

So, prom is over and done with. And judging by the crowd, it was a blast. Now those who organized are complaining they miss the stress and shit. Yea people, I do too. In the event that prom is done, I'm back to blogging and I found this lil piece while reading The Star today.

This Kelantan Umno fler, hahahaha, sorry sorry, I'm actually laughing as I write this. This Kelantan Umno fler said people should stop wearing Obama t shirts. Hahahaha.. but wait, that's not the punchline. He then went on to say that people should wear Najib t shirts, with him being the PM-in-waiting and all.. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean c'mon. Najib t shirts???? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! The reason people wear the Obama t's are cuz he's THE beacon of hope and change right now. And Najib? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Fucking funny la you guys!!!

Private Investigators???

So, some Malaysian girl has made herself "lost" in Perth. She apparently quit college and joined some company and took pills to commit suicide and shit. And then she switched off her phone and now noone can contact her.

What would you do, if you were in her family's shoes? Go somewhere for help of course. And what would you do if you were part of PUTERA UMNO? Get ready to go to Perth to find this girl, of course.

Say what? You're a lawyer and you've been asked to go find the girl? Sokay man, lawyers know the law. You can find the girl. What? You're a measly politician and you've been asked to find the girl? Of course you can. You have no other work apart from sitting down and watching reruns of CSI.

You wanna go there and pretend to find the girl while having fun in Perth? Caaannnn.. Ini Bolehland maa!!

FedEx

I posted this on the comments section of Kerp's blog. He asked me to forward it to Rocky's Bru and Malaysian Insider.

when rpk accused najib, they brought rpk in. when the reporter accused ahmad, they brought the reporter in. then when saifool accused anwar they brought anwar in. when toyol accused teresa, they brought her in.pundek flers losing trend la.. even CSIs are gonna have a hard time understanding their pattern.

What do you say? To forward or not to forward?

Fuck the What?

Democracy has gone to the dogs. Don't ask. Read the papers.

Funniest Shit EVER!!!!

When asked if the resentment shown by component parties towards Ahmad was an indication the coalition was disintegrating, the prime minister said the Barisan was still a favourite amongst the majority of the people.

"We are like a football team and we are getting more aggressive," replied Abdullah.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD, THAT MADE MY DAY!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Spread the Lies and the Fire!

So, the man everyone's looking at is back in the Parliament after 10 years. Well done dude, but you made alotta promises on the way there and also to Putrajaya, so try and keep them promises k?

In the wake of Anwar's win, DPM Najib said that the win proved that democracy is still alive. Tipuuuuuu!!! Democracy not only applies to winning fuckin elections la! Democracy is also about freedom. Freedom to choose, to speak, to go out all night and party..Err wrong freedom. But yea, DEMOCRACY. Latin word ya'll. Means people's government. Or something similar. PEOPLE'S. NOT ruling party's.

So, by you saying that democracy is still alive, you're lying. Liars get their pants on fire, y'know? By shutting down Malaysia Today (mirror site :http://mt.harapanmalaysia.com/2008) you are denying democracy. Just because all the articles Raja Petra (who btw, is an ex-Victorian, trust us Victorians to raise hell. Ask Johanians :P) writes is against you government flers, you cant bloody shut down the site. Where is your sense of democracy now dude? And where is your sportingness. Tak sporting la ya'll.

Now, you can arrest us and shut down our blogs and stuff just because what we write is counted as Pro-Opposition. What if on the 16th os September, Anwar becomes the PM? Than what we write will be counted as Pro-Gomen what? Have a different perspective la dudes. Think outta the box. You've been cocooned inside the box for faaaaaaaaar tooooooooo loooooong. Come out and smell the roses. They smell nicer now.

In a coconut shell, don't lie. Jangan tipu. Don't give us the bullshit that democracy is still alive because man, we too intelligent to buy shit like that. We're more wary of you now, 50 years of ass fucking have a way of making people smarter.

In a tortoise shell, vote. Be a part of change. (I'm not campaigning for Obama although I fully endorse him :D)

Waahhh, Everyone's Doing It Mama!

Weehooo!!! The latest craze to hit the town isn't a new handphone, nor is it a new game, nor the Olympics. It's the 'Swear on the Holy Book' and Statutory Declarations!

The DPM did the 'Swear on the Holy Book' hot on the heels of possible sodomite, Saiful. Of course, he didn't swear that he doesn't practice sodomy, he swore that he doesn't know Altantuyaa.

And then, and then, this Indian dude who's a driver suddenly came also hot on the heels of the missing PI and came up with a Statutory Declaration. He claimed Najib and his wife practise Hinduism or some nonsense liddat. Check out Malaysia Today for the SD.

So, come one, come all, let's take advantage of these situations, make a mockery of religion (tho I do not believe in religion) and a mockery of law. Let's swear on a holy book everytime we need to prove our innocence. Let's make an SD everytime you wana bring someone from a long way up, down.

Everyone's doing it. Why not you?

Major Change

Back to college now, and I'm doing this program where I get to choose my subjects and try em out for a week. Then after this add/drop period, I havta finalise my subjects for the semester. Pretty kewl stuff. After all the psych talk, I have decided to switch majors. Not really, but yea. (fuck, I'm not making sense). OK now, to the point.

You know what is a fucking good field right now? PR. As in Public Relations, not Pakatan Rakyat la. I think I'm gonna start a PR company offering PR services (duh!) to politicians. You know, like you see in movies. The PR dude advices the Presidential candidate on what to wear, how to smile, what to say, how to look at the camera and raise one eyebrow (ok ok, that's The Rock, he doesn't need PR)

I thought of this this morning and I think it's a brilliant idea. No more bocor, jihad, minority not important, beruk, goblok, evil etc etc statements. I understand your concern. Laughter is the best medicine. We all need to laugh out loud at the stupid, ridiculous, ludicrous things that spew out from the politicians' mouths like vomit spewing outta little Carrie's mouth in The Exorcist.

With this plan, I would stand to make millions, maybe billions of ringgit and become a crony (most favouritest word by political critics, wonder why I never used it before). Then I can also become the director, CEO of 200+ companies, Tan Sri Dato Seri Tun Tinesh (not bad sounding eh?) and I would make trillions. And in the course become the first man to be a trillionaire. Fuck off Warren Buffet and Billy Gates (no offense to you guys, k? I belanja you Oreo McFlurry if you gonna sulk).

Of course, I would make Malaysia a better place by making these politicians say the politically correct thing. Funny how POLITICIANS never say the POLITICALLY CORRECT thing. And in course, I would fund Don Kerp to be the next Prime Minister of Malaysia and I get to be the CEO of 1000+ companies and Lord Tinesh (sounds even better :D).

All this is in line with my plan to be the Capo de Tutti Capi (Boss of the Bosses, THE Godfather). Then with my trillions, I can donate a few billion (pocket change mah) to subsidies petrol, fags and thanni. Happy Malaysians all around.

On a sorta related post, Budget is on the 29th and I heard the 14s pack is gonna be abolished and 20s is gonna be sold at 10 bux. This is why I always say, have grass :D

On a abit sorta related post, petrol prices may go down. This is gonna fuck Anwar's plan to become the PM by reducing petrol price. Kakaka

On a very related note, I'm a lesbian now since I like pussies. :D

ps: Moz, if you're reading this, it's been inspired by your ramblings. Though it can never be anything as close. Blardy Jack Sparrow you lol

YB (Yang Berbodoh)

Well, we know that YB stands for Yang Berhormat (The Respected), Yang Bermulia (The NOble) and some MPs have decided that YB can also stand for Yang Berkhidmat (The Serving). Now, there's the all new Yang Berbodoh (The Stupid).

Name calling is common in Parliament, with the most recent one being "Bigfoot" and "big Monkey". Sokay, we can deal with that. We need to laugh too. But then there is this moronic Yang Berbodoh (redundant, I know, but I need to emphasize the point) who made fun of a disabled MP.

He said something along the lines of "Bukit Jelutong (the area where the disabled MP serves) is disrespectful of the house because he doesn't stand when he speaks". WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT MAN?????? THE GUY IS ON A WHEELCHAIR!!

And when another MP told him to retract his statement he said: "I'm only teasing a bit". YOUR IDEA OF TEASING TRANSCENDS ANY FUCKING LEVEL OF STUPIDITY.

Yang Berbodoh, I really wish you would fucking step down. You're a motherfucking disgrace to your constituency.

Mental block

I seriously have no fucking idea about what to write lol..Add me not feeling well to that..

I could write about how a certain minister from the tourism ministry is planning to cancel plans made in the opposition-won states..Goes to show what kinda fucking sore losers they are and that the fact that, after all, this country is democratically challenged. For all the hype that was made after the elections that finally, democracy prevails, Ms Tourism ministry fucks things up for the people of Malaysia.

Is it wrong for us to choose differently?? Why, oh why, do we have to get punished for practising democracy?? And didn't your boss say that eventhough opposition have won the states, plans made for the development of the states will continue??

And then, and then, Sleepyhead slams everyone who has been critisizing him..Bugger, if you wanna slam, then tell people things they do not already know..Mahathir knows how to slam, so does Ku Li, but you my friend, you suck at slamming..Learn from others la brudder..No point telling things that people already know..Where's the fun in that eh??

Anywayz, shit still keeps happening in this country no matter what..I've gotta start studying before my finals, go out on a few dates, practise for MMU's prom and have fun..I suggest you do that too ;)

Step Down, Step Down, Step Down

Since I have been so fucking hung up on Incubus, I have found the right song for the PM to step down..Incubus' Megalomaniac..Here's the lyrics:

I hear you on the radio

You permeate my screen

It's unkind but if I met you in a scissor fight

I'd cut off both your wings on principle alone

On principle alone...

Hey megalomaniac

You're no Jesus

Yeah, you're no fucking Elvis

Wash your hands clean on yourself, baby and

Step down Step down

If I were your appendages

I'd hold open your eyes

So you would see

That all of us are heaven sent

And there was never meant to be only one

To be only one...

Hey megalomaniac

You're no Jesus

Yeah, you're no fucking Elvis

Wash your hands clean on yourself, baby and

Step down Step down

Step down Step down

Oh step down

You're no Jesus!
You're no Elvis!

You're no Jesus!

You're no Jesus!

You're no Elvis!
You're no answer!

Step Down...

Step Down...

Step Down...

Step Down...

Hey...(hey)!

Hey megalomaniac

You're no Jesus

Yeah, you're no fucking Elvis

Wash your hands clean on yourself, baby and

Step down Step down

Oh oh, we're in trouble..

Yea that's exactly what Uncle Lingam and co. are gonna be singing..If you haven't heard, Lingam's former sectretary spilt the beans at the inquiry that, she:

1. Was given money by the ACA (Anti Corruption Agency) to shut up about Lingam's case file being close (so much for anti-corruption)

2. Booked the tickets and itenary for Lingam and Eusoff Chin for the NZ trip (something which they denied previously)

3. Left the company because she was accused of stealing one million Berjaya Group shares

With this revelations made, hopefully this brings all these morons down.

On another note, gomen has been dissolved. Erections Elections is coming. Exercise your right to vote! Let's get the present gomen outta the way..

On an entirely different note, I can play the guitar! I'm serious. I can play some riffs (which I came up with myself) on drop D..The working titles of the songs are called " Song in drop D 1, 2.. and so forth..Woohoo!!!