SNL Transcripts: Jon Stewart: 03/09/02


Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:
March 9th, 2002

Jon Stewart

India.Arie

George Plimpton

India.Arie, “Video”

  • A Message From the Vice-President of the United States

    Vice-President Cheney (Darrell Hammond) addresses Letterman issue.

    Recurring Characters: Dick Cheney.

  • Jon Stewart’s Monologue

    Stewart jokes about cable television and gays in the military.

  • The Cheese Game

    Game helps kids learn to appreciate the value of cheese.

  • TRL

    Lou Perlstein (Stewart) shows off genetically-mutated boy band.

  • The Bloder Brothers

    Kip (Jimmy Fallon) & Wayne (Chris Parnell) get detained at the airport.

    Recurring Characters: Kip Bloder, Wayne Bloder.

  • TV Funhouse

    Fun With Real Audio mocks Colin Powell’s M-TV chat with teenagers.

  • Talking to the Stars With Rachel and Tracy

    Rachel Dratch and Tracy Morgan interview Stewart.

  • Newscaster Party

    David Letterman (Jeff Richards) appears at Ted Koppel’s (Darrell Hammond) party.

    Recurring Characters: Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw, Ted Koppel, Helen Thomas,

    Starr Jones, David Letterman.

  • Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey

    Chris Kattan gives a Terrible Re-Enactment of John McEnroe firing.

    Jon Stewart jumps in when Jimmy Fallon is incapacitated.

    Drunk Girl gives tips for a safe Spring Break.

    Recurring Characters: Drunk Girl.

  • India.Arie performs “Video”

  • BET Jazz: Jazzvisions

    Spoon instrumentalist Lonny Bartz (Stewart) discusses his music career.

  • We Were Soldiers That Knew What Women Want

    Mel Gibson (Stewart) movie combo poorly addresses two subjects.

  • India.Arie performs “Ready For Love”

  • My Big Thick Novel

    Author debates whether or not he should jump from party.

    SNL Transcripts

    • Author: Don Roy King

    Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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