One month in BKK

Got the Bangkok job and decided to take it. Am still a little bit hesitant about it, but am here. The job is quite overwhelming, but good thing it is with a team of consultants, and the others are seasoned experts. So at the very least this can be a really good learning experience. It's only for a month, so hopefully I'll manage. And it'll look really good on the CV.

Being alone is no fun though. Despite this really swanky accommodation they've given me. I've had my share of living alone and being independent. You'd think that after years as a student abroad would make me so used to this that it'd be a piece of cake. It's not. I've had enough of independence. So hopefully H can join me over here for a bit.

--
ooh just realised how whiney all that just sounded. haha. all's good actually. just a bit anxious with this new job. High expectations.

As many steps as it takes

I have a meeting tomorrow. After all the recent debacle about my (lack of) inter-personal skills, I am feeling rather anxious and unsure of myself. With this particular group of colleagues, I've sort of put myself in the leadership position, and I have no idea whether that position is accepted by the team members. In my head, I do so because I want to make sure the project gets going. And indeed we've seen progress being made. What worries me now, is whether I've focused on 'getting things done' at the expense of my relationship with the people who are getting things done.

Am putting myself on a {inset whatever number required}-step programme to improve my inter-personal skills.

I can't change overnight. So I'll set specific objectives for every event, and aim to make the changes, and to make a habit of these changes.

For tomorrow's meeting:
(1) Be pleasant.
(2) Make sure everyone gets a chance to voice their opinions, objections and queries.
(3) Ask questions instead of giving directions.

There are plenty more I need to work on. But I'll start with a conscious effort on these three.

When books jump out

A while back, I was feeling rather out of sorts. Nothing was actually wrong, but I didn't feel right. One day, I was browsing around a book store, and one book just called out to me. It was never on my to-read list, but that day, I was drawn to it.

Was it the greatest book on earth? Not likely.
Did I actually understand it completely? Actually, I didn't.
But it was absolutely the right book for me at that time. Things were put into perspective, and it all made more sense. I didn't agree with everything the book conveyed, but it made me think and find my own solutions, my own answers.

It cured me of my maladies. It also reinforced my believe that God talks to us everyday in our lives. We just have to keep our eyes and hearts open to find those reassurances.

Yesterday, I discovered a little book store that I absolutely fell in love with, here in Singapore. There were books everywhere, but I couldn't find a single book for me. Nothing jumped out. Again, I happened to be feeling all out of sorts. Just a little bit 'eh.

Ended up with two books in my hands. Neither were particularly appealing.
One was a sappy love story with a feel-good ending (I've seen the movie).
The other was a depressing slit-wrist "you need a strong heart to read this", as described by the store owner.

I went for the slit-wrist.