troll

image analysis

haemacytometer (10x)

- to make a scale bar

image analysis

tissue engineered skin architechure

spring cleaning

tails for soup, anyone?
found these on defrosted shelf - for spring cleaning in the nice, stupid playground.

avoid boring people

mr. M is currently enjoying equatorial's sunny weather in this most depressing time of the year.

current reading: avoid boring people - lesson from a life in science. - james d. watson the co-founder of dna, also someone whose sexist comment about not going to hire fat women. 

the science of cooking

dear daisy,

this was not bunga bunga the sort of berlusconi's style - but a super-geeky, adrenaline fuelled, not-a-junk-science (thanks to encode!) italian cooking class. warning - the biohazard sign was not actually real. some of us did not have any apron at home, hence - the lab is our playground supplied for the day's cover.

the cooking book - manuals for italian food dummies. (unlike the yellowish one - this one came in pink red-ish.

 panacotta - from an awkward angle.

 next time, i should not bring up the subject of encode in the middle of a cooking class with fellow scientists. felt like hacked as in intelligent expelled.

midlife crisis and the megalomaniac

midlife. crisis. welcome to the age 30.

dear daisy,

quarter life crisis happens when you stop to go along with the crowd and realize that there are a lot of things about yourself that you did not know and perhaps may not like.

it is also about insecurity and worry about what might held in the future. especially in this age of economic crisis and high unemployment.

all out of a sudden, the world and people you knew starting to detach from your life. you feel desolate and
all alone. the people you befriended, that you thought was the best and the greatest are not exactly the same people you met before. maybe it was because we all changed, for the better or for the worse - and both of us are getting confused.

you scared of unprecedented future, so far your current life is not exactly as what you wished for. (let's just change the topic about me, instead about you)

me and jessica ennis

there were so many expectation before i was thirty. - success, family, career, nice house and an A5 Audi. now, it is not even close to that.. and  i am scared. i miss the comforts of mundane pay day jobs which i had during the gap year before my grad school. although it wasn't a great life, which i was almost died of boredom then gained few pounds frm over eating - I guess, grad school is actually good up until the point when the funding is over.

at the end of twenties, i begin to prioritize the need and want (also don't want). --in which are very damaging to  relationships and the value i had before. i've becoming judgmental and act to those who are posing the same thing towards me.

there is nothing wrong by doing things that you do, what is hard to change is other people's perception. just because it is unusual, does not mean it is wrong. the label extrovert or introvert is actually given by people who perceives to know us better. perceptions are always driven by stereotype mindset and differences would be labeled as social awkwardness.

this is the best and the worst time in life. sometimes, we need to feel the pain to be happy. to laugh and cry at the same time is not actually the worse thing that could happen, which also doesn't mean that you need to be treated for bipolar. it is normal to feel the best and the worst at the same time. it is human that through our greatness and achievement, we kneel before God The Almighty.

there are so many things that beyond our comprehension, the science of the universe is not going to unravel itself without discoveries. the diamond in earth's crust has to be mined before it can be sold to fund war in africa* --

i am sorry for being insensitive, but there is a need to highlight the atrocities of blood diamond in central african region.

midlife crisis does not come with a free financial burden. this is the age of recession that we don't actually realize how poor we have become ever since industrial revolution. in the 70s it took only a working husband to provide enough to the family and pay housing mortgage and now both spouses have to work to pay for those essentials.

european horse meat scandal and fake fish allegation in us seafood add salt in this crisis - realizing how actually poor we've become and capitalist making more billions. horse meat is just a tip of an iceberg, as involvement of mafia rings in the distribution might add conspicuous rife of other 'illegal carcasses' might be inside the meat - which may include greyhound.

should we resort to become vegan or vegetarians?

the best thing to do now is to be able to sustain ourselves with knowledge and resources - be able to grow own food and harnessing microeconomy in the neighborhood.  expansion and globalization of neo-capitalism are always for the benefit of their shareholders. taking walmart for an example, the family is accounted for the richest in america (maybe 6 of its family members are in the of top ten) - but the workers are among the poorest in the country. there were revelations on the poor standard of the employee's right and benefit.  now even with the increase in the minimum salary, the workers can't afford to shop at its own supermarket as walmart sales have been reported to decline to the lowest in 2 year.  people jokingly related this to slow progression of obama's stimulus plan.

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maybe this is social awkwardness. random thought at 4 am. (which i am supposed to write a paper on skin tissue regeneration) - got stumbled by writer's block, felt a bit depressed and thought of writing about depression (midlife crisis etc). ended up with walmart and horsemeat.

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so long and good night.

engineering feeling.

light will guide you home, and ignite your soul. Maxwell equation will fix the parameters. 

i was looking for Gibb's to relate with the entrophy of my feelings - found Maxwell's instead

all facebooker rejects

dear daisy,

writing for journals - left me exhausted and weary for new stories. it also made me inferior after seeing so many red marks correcting silly grammatical errors - a, the. +s, -s, etc. maybe i should put attention to detail and revisit elementary syllabus. anyway,  there were not many interesting events in the past 5-6 months except when i went back to see my family back in sunny-super humid malaysia. (which was worth it).

this month marks the end of my third year of phd. it feels a bit tough, especially with the sense of fear of not getting funding. i don't even remember when was the last time i had coffee with fellow malaysians. i also feel of disconnected - i was not surprised of getting unfriend on facebook (only it left me devastated - just as mentioned in recent report).

i realize that i might also hurt some feelings of people who are very dear to me. it made me feel bad, i wish i could just wash it away.

facebook has becoming of advertisements about self rather than connecting people - and build friendship. psychologically speaking,  it is the only medium that connects me with people surround me who don't actually bother to say hi. at some point, virtual relationship is what defines today's society.