Swim class
Coach: air masuk mulut tk?
Me: masuk
Coach: then u kena tilt more ur head up
Me: i ok je air masuk mulut
Coach; 🫠
Hyrox class
Coach: can u increase the weight?
Me: i can but i dont want to.
Coach: 🫠
Pilates
Coach: use yellow spring for lighter strength, red if you want challenges.
Me: *choose yellow* i dont want challenge
Coach: no u can use red, proceed to change the spring
Me: 🫠.
JAJA 😭💀 GIRL, YOU ASKED FOR THIS. No seatbelt, no fucking helmet, no emotional support reformer Pilates. LET'S GO.
Bitch, you’re a specialist doctor. You treat patients with complex neurological and musculoskeletal problems all day, but the moment your own life starts acting up, suddenly the consultant has left the fucking building. You can probably explain spinal cord injury mechanisms in your sleep, but one pimple appears on your face and you're ready to shut down the entire dermatology department.
One tiny pimple pops up and suddenly it's an emergency multidisciplinary case conference. 😭 "I think I can't use any actives at all." GIRL, I HEAR YOU. BUT THE WAY YOU AND YOUR SKIN HAVE BEEF LIKE YOU OWE IT MONEY???? (of course it does, i have spent way too much on skincare)
And don't get me started on your fitness era.
You're doing HYROX, swimming, reformer Pilates, megaformer, running, freediving, and probably considering becoming a fucking astronaut next. (never thought of it but now im thinking why not, katy perry did go to the space, dint she?)
Your calendar looks like a rich woman's wellness retreat, except you still have actual work, three kids, tuition schedules, and a husband somewhere in the background. 💀
GIRL, YOU DON'T NEED ANOTHER WORKOUT PLAN. YOU NEED TO ACCEPT THAT RESTING IS NOT A FUCKING MORAL FAILURE.
And your relationship with planning? INSANE.
You've got Umrah, your kids' exams, HYROX, work, swimming, Pilates, skincare, career progression, financial independence, and about six different potential futures running simultaneously in that head of yours. (week 1 kids exam, week 3 umrah, week 5 hyrox dead dead dead)
NASA could outsource mission control to you.
But ask you what you actually want to do on a free afternoon and suddenly it's an existential fucking crisis.
"Should I do Pilates? Should I run? Should I journal? Should I see a therapist? Should I go for lunch? Should I do aesthetics?" (because i want to spend my time wisely!)
BITCH, HAVE YOU CONSIDERED EATING A SNACK AND FUCKING EXISTING? 😭😭😭
Now let's talk about your perfectionism.
You want to be fit, pretty, financially independent, spiritually grounded, a good mother, a good doctor, a good Muslim, emotionally healed, socially fulfilled, and somehow still have enough energy to look effortlessly gorgeous while doing all of it. (i guess thats what medical school do to me..must be tiptop perfect A students, no room for error)
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO BE? THE FINAL BOSS OF WOMANHOOD? 😭
You don't have goals. You have an entire fucking government transformation roadmap with quarterly KPIs. (what is wrong with that?)
And God forbid you aren't progressing fast enough.
A run doesn't feel good enough. Your skin isn't improving quickly enough. Your strength isn't increasing quickly enough. Your life isn't changing quickly enough.
Girl, even your self-improvement journey is being managed like a department under audit.
YOU ARE NOT A FAILED PROJECT JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT AT THE FINISH LINE YET.
You keep trying to optimise your life because you're scared of what happens when you stop moving. (depression cant hit moving object)
Run. Swim. Lift. Pray. Plan. Work. Train. Improve. Repeat.
Because when everything goes quiet, all the shit you've been carrying suddenly gets a microphone.
So you fill the calendar.
Bitch, your calendar is not a fucking therapist.
Although, to be fair, at this point your Garmin has probably witnessed more of your emotional regulation than most people in your life. (zone 5 all the way 💀)
And here's the part that really gets me.
You're clearly capable of being disciplined as fuck when something matters to you. You can show up for patients. You can work toward qualifications. You can train when you're tired. You can keep a million responsibilities moving.
But when it comes to giving yourself the same patience you'd give someone else, suddenly the compassion department is fucking closed.
You want results immediately. You judge yourself for struggling. You treat uncertainty like a problem that needs solving RIGHT NOW.
GIRL, SOMETIMES LIFE IS JUST LIFE. IT'S NOT A CASE PRESENTATION WHERE YOU CAN FIND THE DIAGNOSIS, WRITE A MANAGEMENT PLAN, AND DISCHARGE YOURSELF BY 5 PM.
And the sheer audacity of you wanting to become a HYROX athlete, a Pilates instructor, a better swimmer, a skincare success story, a career powerhouse, and a woman who has her shit together—
WHILE ALSO RAISING THREE KIDS, WORKING FULL-TIME, AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE—
You really looked at one human body and said, "Yeah, let's run 14 concurrent fucking programmes."
No wonder you're tired, babe.
You're trying to be the doctor, the athlete, the mother, the wife, the daughter, the friend, the hot girl, the spiritual woman, the financially independent woman, and the emotionally healed woman.
Jaja is a high-functioning overthinker with a specialist qualification, an Olympic-level commitment to overcomplicating things, a Garmin watch, 19 unfinished emotional processes, a skincare routine on probation, and enough ambition to give an entire fucking HR department a nervous breakdown.
You want peace, but you keep giving yourself homework. (practise makes perfect)
You want to feel beautiful, but you keep inspecting yourself like a quality-control officer. (cuz my collagen is degrading and close to extinction)
You want connection, but when you're hurt, you want to disappear before anyone gets the chance to disappoint you again. (i am an avoidant, i know that)
You want to enjoy life, but somehow even enjoyment needs a schedule, a goal, and measurable progress.
YOU ARE BOTH THE PROJECT MANAGER AND THE ENTIRE FUCKING PROJECT.
And the project manager needs a day off. 😭😭😭
But here's my final, no-jokes-for-a-second observation:
I don't think you're lazy, weak, or incapable of handling life. I think you've become very good at functioning and are still figuring out how to feel okay when you're not achieving, fixing, improving, or proving something.
You don't need to win at every fucking category of being alive. (the winner takes it all..)
You can be a doctor who has a bad week. An athlete who skips burpees (i hate burpees, i dont mind skip it). A woman who wants to look pretty. A mother who gets overwhelmed. A person who misses things she can't change (i miss you).
None of those things cancels out the rest of you.
Now go drink some water, stop inspecting your pores under bathroom lighting, and for the love of all things holy, do not sign yourself up for another fucking fitness programme before finishing this one. 💀🤝
I got asked a lot of this question this year by my friends,
“What’s your target weight?”
Me: i dont really have target weight. But…i do have target body. .
(mission accomplished)
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the show this year cuz they celebrate the millenial models and moms. And damn they all look gooood. And looking at Barbara Palvin return to runaway at 6 weeks postpartum reminds me my own journey return to work at 4 weeks post C-section to join Master programme on time. So yeah, we mothers are made of steel and rock the world.
Tiber rs tk leh tido. Sebab excited. Its friday tomorrow and then the weekends. Kenapa excited??
….drumroll….
Sbb nk pergi exercise lol. Eventho I went to exercise daily.
But weeekend exercise is like double the funnnn.
Friday afternoon - while other people go for long lunch break, i usually go to pilates. But tomorrow i'm going to the freaking gymmmmm. who is disss?
Then weekend, i have back to back classes.
Saturday : hyrox class / freedive
Sunday : tower pilates / megaformer
If it kills me, innalillah.
But…what doesnt kill me, makes me strongerrr.
Anyway, all these exercises have different goals so i dont think i overdo my body.
Monday - is a public holiday for Selangor so im gonna call it a rest day. KIV swim in the evening.
Selamat malam, sayang!
...it's friday night ;p
When I was in my 20s, I would say yes to almost anyone who invited me to travel. I remember going to Beijing with a group of senior nurses, to Australia with a new friend I had known for barely a few days. And to New Zealand with a bunch of different people.
Now, in my 40s, I find myself saying yes to anyone who invites me to exercise. 😂
Different decade, different activities, but the same pattern.
Still saying yes to new experiences, new people, and new adventure comes my way.
....of a parent of an autistic child.
Things I have had to let go of, or at least think twice about, in life.
...family dinners at restaurants.
...holidays that require long haul flights.
...international courses that require me to leave him behind.
...travelling alone like some of my friends. or even travel as a family.
...umrah..hajj..
...attending family gatherings, birthday parties, weddings with or without him.
...spontaneous plans, the freedom to simply say yes instead of having to think how about Dazrin?
vs
Ouch.
“You, out of all people, should know better,” a friend commented on the video.
Yup, finally, the queen has fallen from her throne.
It has been 2 weeks since the fall. *rotate my neck to the right and left* Shit..I can still feel the soreness at my neck and upper back. The pain that had been there for years, but gradually improved with my Pilates practice, is now back to remind me that I am not invincible.
With my history of cervical spondylosis, I should not take this lightly. Especially when my line of work means seeing the consequences of spinal injuries almost every day.
So, I am prescribing myself a break from headstand. I'm super sad cuz I can’t continue doing something I genuinely enjoy. But sometimes, the bravest thing to do is to pause. To take a step back, even when all I want is to keep going.
I’ll find my way back when it’s safe.
Gravity = 1, Jaja = 0.
I listened to Ustaz Azlan Shah’s lecture on Surah Ad-Dhuha during my drive home from work today.
He spoke about anak yatim is the most vulnerable members of society. It is emphasised in Quran to be kind to them. Not just to provide for money and food, but to shower them with love and affection, make them feel safe, valued, and worthy. And Allah promise great rewards for those who treats them with kindness. And he talked about there were studies on how a lack of love and affection during childhood can affect a person as they grow into adulthood, shaping the way they see themselves, form relationships, etc
Then he said something along the lines of how an orphan is not necessarily just a child who has lost a father or mother. But also those children who have their parents, but was not taken care by them or absence parents.
At that very moment, I felt seen. Exposed. Understood. Validated. Something about my life began to make sense. Why I feel the way I feel, why I acted the way I did.. How I crave for love and attention growing up.. Cuz my emotional tank was never full to begin with.
How I wish I could hug little J tight. Gonna give my children all the love i have in me, so they never experience how I did. And praying they will grow up fine, if not, better.
“So as for the orphan, do not oppress him.” (93:9)
I remember watching that scary movie called Orphan..do you?
Did a 5 km run and lower body exercise the day before.
Asked CG what exercise should I do today..
..and the answer that I received was recovery swim.
So, recovery swim it is..
..to be fair, that's the only kind of swim I know how to do hahaha.
I'm definitely not Michael Phelps.
It was a hectic day at work today. I was basically run a one woman show.
Started with neuro clinic, MO shortage (whats new?) so I saw some of the cases myself with MO line up to dicuss their cases with me in between. And yes i’m oncall today, entertaining referrals as well. And lets not forget, its ICU round day today!
So clinic ended at 1pm. Then discussed the ICU referrals w the MO in charge. And i dont know why I continue spent the remaining time of my lunch break doing medical reports and admin letters!
By the time everything finished, it was 2pm. Solat zuhur and lunch. 3pm online meeting with therapist and MO to discuss inpatient cases.
And…..i accidentally dozed off during the meeting! Out of sudden i heard someone called my name repeatedly. Immediately i was pulled back to the world, “sorry..what were you saying just now?” Thank god the camera was off! Phew.. i think my brain was shut down for a second there.
Then the 1.5 hour drive back home accompanied by killer combo, traffic+rain+haze…and somehow made it to my 7pm swim.
What a day…
CG, please summarize my day today.
Alhamdulillah for the kudrat to be able to go through a day like this.
Was in my Dr terpaling mode when i told the MO paeds in the middle of consultation, that i needed 5 minutes break as it was my turn to pitch to the hospital director (via online meeting) for an additional medication purchase fr my department. And ended it by request to leave the meeting early cuz i was attending my son’s appt. Alhamdulillah application approved 🤲🏻
Why i didnt ask for help from my colleague to attend the meeting. Because no 1 i know i can do it cuz i have that high achiever trait, no 2 i only have one colleague, who running the clinic on the same morning, so didnt want to bother her.
Putting it in here to remind myself in the future..
There was a time when i was 40, i went crazy with exercises.
Something my 20 year old would not believe this is the person i become in the future.
So, the schedule for the remaining 3 months of 2026....
*drumroll*
Thursday : Swim (night)
Friday: Reformer/Mat Pilates (noon) + rollerblade (night)
Saturday: Cadillac Pilates (morning) + Freedive (afternoon)
Sunday : Tower Pilates + Strength training (back to back morning)
i know i should add on run + gym, maybe one of the remaining nights....
and yoga? calisthenic? need headstand to progress
There's a lot more to the list i wanna do, but i guess we better keep it for 2027.
..to Tun Dr Hasmah.
I saw the video of Tun M cried and grieved over the passing of her late wife..
..and many people share their empathy..
..and wonder how its like if they lose their life partner..
..how heartbroken they could get..
...which i cant relate to..
to be loved so deeply by a person that you love is such a rizq, isnt it..
2 org terpaling doktor yang mementingkan kesejahteraan pesakit di ICU, referred and accepted referral on behalf of our teams during holiday.
I didn't know he was on leave.
He should have stopped when i informed i was on leave as well.
And we need to learn to call each other by names.
:)
Bangga kerana masih meneruskan kehidupan.
Walaupun rs nk pulangkan nafas dan nadi kepada Pemiliknya.
:)
Ready to be physically tortured.
“Okay girls, lets do 10 seconds plank”
Senang2 je kena scam dgn si Carmen ni.
Est 2024
A day after class, tk tau sakit perut lapar ke abs DOMS.
This morning my heart feels heavy..again..
Possible contributed by the traffic jam due to accident.
I have more time in the car by myself to overthink.
I got drowned in my own thoughts.
And this song just make it worst..
Pulangkan cintaku kepada Mu
Hilangkan ragu di dalam dada
Ku merayu Kasih Yang Teragung
Tenangkan jiwaku yang meraung
Halangkan derita dan sengsara
Ku merindu Kasih Yang Teragung
Apa terjadi, salahku sendiri
Ku dikaburi tanpa sedari
Hati kini hanyut sepi.
I need to come home..
And i feel PMS hits hard at 40s.
…low maintenance friendship be like..
2024
2025
Da cukup quota tanya khabar setahun skali.
Next text tahun dpn.
It was a good start for Monday today.
Despite I woke up feels like my body just got hit by a bus.
But the journey to work was zen.
I arrived and no patients seen at the clinic entrance…yet
Which is uncommon sight.
But work was good today. Calm.
The only chaos was my mind.
With all the issues with classpass and a lot of studios pull out from the app.
Will it be the end of my wellness era?
Drama huh.
But maybe its a good calling to be an ahli masjid.
Maybe this is my 40’s calling
I khatam Quran 3 times ok this Ramadhan. Riak dah.
But no one really read my blog. So not consider riak.
I memang terpaling.
Doa i get to go umrah end of this year.
So I can start next year with a purified heart.
Although kinda scared to go to Mekah.
Cuz im a sinnerrrr.
But everyone is, kan.
Also takut will it be an invitation for more life challenges ahead.
“Are you considered urself beriman if you have never be tested?”
So,
Dimulakan dengan Bismillah..
Boleh tk nk doa jadi Siti Khadijah di usia 40 tahun.
…
At 40, Rasulullah receive his first wahyu.
At 40, S Khadijah married her love life, a 25 year old man.
…
Me at 40 wonder which path is destined for me.
At the beginning of the year..
I was obsessed to be good in pilates particularly hanging.
Now i can do it with my eyes close.
Mid year..
I started functional strength training..
But since I didnt get tix for hyrox, i dont feel the urge to train harder for it. But i still go to the class from time to time.
August..
Out of sudden, i made headstand as my goal.
it already gets a bit too routine..
Now it kinda comes naturally for me.
October..
I have signed up for 8 sessions of freedive training.
Sometimes I asked myself why do I need to do all this.
I dont know..
Maybe i am bored.. or sad with my life..
Or want to prove to myself i can do hard things.
Or that I can do whatever I want to do.
Without any valid reasons to do so…
Its okay this is my YOLO year.
Next year, i want to shift my focus back to my career.
No more expensive hobbies.
It will be more expensive courses and training.
The thought of it already makes me bit depressed to enter next year.
Do I want that? Maybe not.
But do I need it? Yes, in this evolving cut throat new discoveries world everyday. Have to level up my skills.
I lost 2 loved ones in September. Different year.
Both were born in July.
Known them in a short time.
But enough to had me grieve for years.
Just like the waves.
It comes and goes.
Some days I accept.
Some days I blame myself.
Some days I miss them so much I wish I could turn back the time.
Today,
I grieve for her.
I grieve for him.
The lives that I have lost.
Forever.
..I didn’t have.
I know exactly what she means.
I was lucky in some ways. I got into a good programme and now have a stable job.
I had many close friends growing up..
But I dont think they know this part of my story:
The reason I didn’t go to boarding school because no one can send me there.
I spent 5 years in local uni without my parents ever visit me.
No parents at my high school graduation (i was the valedictorian) , undergraduate and postgraduate graduation ceremony :)
Moved to Temerloh alone. I spent my first day raya oncall and second day raya alone. Moved back to KL alone.
Honestly, it didnt really bothers me back then. I simply accepted that was my normal. Its only now, looking back 20 years later that I realised..huh that was kinda sad.
But yeah, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Isnt it?
Maybe it does.
But wtf cares about being strong.
Sometimes I just wish I didn’t have to be.
Imagine hurting a girl with no safe place to run to..it is fortunate she did not expire in the process.
This year, my mind seems obsessed with trying new things.
The question that pops in my head everyday..
What does 40 year old Jaja want to try to do today?
It started one fine morning in Phuket. At the end of the Yoga session at the resort, i saw this teenager doing a headstand at the end of the class.
And i thought okay that looks hard but i can do that.
So i tried…
…and flopped miserably 🫣
But am I a quitter?
Procastinor yes, but quitter never.
On the last day there, I approached the instructor to teach me how to do a headstand.
And he did.
Fast forward 1 month, here I am trying all sorts of poses. On my own.
After almost a year of not attending an Islamic talk, I finally went to one yesterday..
Some of the things the speaker mentioned about:
1. Lonelines
The loneliness can be a reminder from Allah to return to Him. There is no one more lonely than Nabi Yunus when he was trapped in a belly of a whale or Maryam when she had to went through pregnancy and labour alone.
2. Acceptance/Redha
How do we accept the things that happen in our lives?
I realised how easy it is to question why.
Why did this happen to me?
Why did Allah allow this?
Why couldn’t things have turned out differently?
Instead of questioning or blaming Him, we return to Him. We stay with Him. We ask Him for guidance. We ask Him for help. We tell Him that we don’t understand, but we trust that He knows what we don’t.
redha not necessarily being okay with everything, but surrendering what we cannot control while continuing to walk towards Him.
3. Remain when things are hard
This one hit me the most. To remain in iman even when the test feels too heavy. The speaker reminded us the story of Nabi Yaakub.
He lost Yusuf for years. He grieved. He cried until he lost his sight. Yet he never blamed Allah for what happened to him. He remained in his Iman. And despite knowing what the children did to of Yusuf, he remained a good father to them.
I kept thinking about that.
How do we learn to have that kind of sabar?
Not the kind where you pretend that you’re not hurting.
But the kind where you can hurt deeply and still remain with Allah.
Where you can cry and still pray.
Where you can be exhausted and still believe.
Where you can not understand your test and still not turn away from Him.
Still be good to people who hurt you.
I don’t think I have mastered that.
Not even close..
And there was another strange thing that happened during the talk. Listening to other people’s stories made me look at Liyana and said…
“Okayyy… mine is not that bad.”
😂
Life will always have something to test us with. The goal isn’t to have a life without struggles but to learn how to walk through them without losing our way back to Allah.
A lot of commotion on how yoga memesongkan akidah.
Alhamdulillah akidah masih intact doing yoga.
Rs akidah perempuan lg mudah terpesong percaya janji manis lelaki.
Adakah kita perlu ban mereka?
😜
Take the good, leave the bad.
Update:
They said: Then dont use the word yoga. Guna la term senaman regangan. Baiklah saya guna term senaman regangan headstand bukan yoga supaya akidah saya terpelihara. Ameen ya rabbal alamin. :)
But it makes me wonder..why would they want to prevent it..
Have they ever been in that person shoes, to know how it feels. How hard it is to continue living. How difficult it gets not to feel sad all the time.
As much as people can give all the support they think the person need. There will still be few quiet moments when no one can be there for them, and the thoughts get louder than usual.
So i guess begitula terjadi nya penciptaan lagu ini.
You can have regret for not saving a person, but there is nothing more you can do.
“I pray to God He hear you..”
And who knows they are probably at a better place..
The world is not that great to live in, anyway..
But of course i will give different consultation fr my profession. :)
This is my personal opinion, that only for me myself and i.
So which one is the real me?
Guess..
Maybe the one on prayer mat..
Talking to God..
..wonder if He listen..
One of the birthday wishes that caught me off guard..
Am I..loved? 🥹
Thank you for the reminder, Jo.
Did facial today.
Beautician : Do not engage any sports for the next 24 hours.
Me: okay
Also me 1 hour later…
And 8 hours later.
I dont workout to look good.
I workout because i want to impress my friends with random shit. 😉
But looking good is a bonus.
Hello 50kg.
Not in the picture. Swim and Strength.
Run paling malas.
And i replied, “I know. I am Pretty AND Funny. Both are my best qualities.”
After days of feeling meh, i came across this post and thinking if there's one thing I did right in life, it was becoming a doctor.
Here are my top 10 memories being a doctor:
I’m just staring at the ceiling. cant describe this feeling i’ve got in my head. I’m out of body in my bed. And i’m just searching my symptoms. Deperate to fix them, I’ll do anything. Cause lately, I’ve been spiraling. I’m not feeling like myself, and nothing ever seems to help. Went to the doctor (the girl in the mirror) and she said i was fine. But every movie that i see makes me cry. It’s like somebody put a weight on my chest. I should talk to a friend but I cant get out of the bed. My head is spinning and my stomach is sick. Say i’m in love, so its hard to admit. I cant eat, I cant sleep. I think you’re whats wrong with me.
I keep looking for distractions. Hope the feelings passes. But i’ve got to say, its getting harder everyday. And i cant seem to get around it. Head just keeps on pounding with the thought
“what if this isnt what i want?”
I’m not feeling like myself.
All amber lights and warning bells.
And i’m not hiding it well.
I think you’re whats wrong with me.
After 4 days of daily Yoga & 2 days of Muay Thai,
I am down.. with fever and DOMS
But, will i do it again?
Definetely, yes!
And hey, it’s August.
T-25 till i turn a new decade.
Every blessings no matter how small it is, it is a gift from Him. Gratitude brings you barakah, peace.
2. "Do people think that they will be left to say, "We Believe" and they will not be tested? - Surah Al 'Ankabut 29:2
The duniya is a test and Jannah is the reward for the believer. Every hardship is a test and every moment of sabr and redha is never wasted, it will be rewarded.
I've been trying to change the way I make dua. Instead of spending most of it asking Allah what I desire in this dunia as well as akhirah, I spend more of thanking Him for what He has given me.
:)
….is over for meeee.
I got in early. There were only 2k ppl in front of me.
Got in. Pick the tix. Guess i took slight longer at the flex option cuz i was confused. Then click proceed. Bam sold out!
So sadddddd..
Tried other categories. Even pro ones. Same story. The moment i wanna pay —> failed!!
Liyana: its ok, we plan..but who is the best planner?
Me: idk. You or me?
Liyana: *she gives me cold hard stare* ALLAH la woi!
Me: oops sorry. Brain loading. Post traumatic stress tk dpt ticket.
*baru pergi talk Imam Omar Suleiman last weekend*
Liyana: its okay la boleh continue training without the race
Me: what do u mean? Its like study without exam! Whats the point?? *hi achiever trait*
Liyana: sama la mcm u pergi pilates
Me: if ada olympic for pilates, i will join!
This is harder than battle for Coldplay tix. Wawawawa.
For coldplay i still got time to think!
The other day i watched an IG reel on “suicidal ideation”. The person was telling like how she just found out having an ideation is not normal. Like she thought everyone may have it once in awhile.
Wait..it’s not normal to have it? Even during your tough season? Cuz I do have it sometimes… as long as i can remember. It comes and go. On my defence, ideation and intention are two different things. And i’m that smart to be able to differentiate it.
Then she shared her discussion with her therapist, it’s a form of escapism. Kinda makes sense.
If you dont understand, it’s a privelege. (Seems to be my fav sentence this day)
But now i know whenever i have the thoughts, i should do this..
(Context: It was my first try to dive)
I was super confident. Inhale. Hold ur breath. Equalize. Dive. Equalize again.
But then, the moment I reached the bottom.
I panicked.
I can’t breathe.
Just like that, i found the will to live again. 🤣
Genius, i am..
