Happy New Year!!!

Well, another year has come and gone. I can't really say they seem to be going any faster since I am an adult (most people seem to think the years are flying by), but there does seem to be less distinction from one year to the next. Growing up, it seems like so many new things were happening in each year. Now, not so much. So, here are a few of the things that stand out as the highlights and lowlights of 2005 (if they didn't make the list, I probably just don't remember them).

• Dylan is growing into an awesome little boy. He is no longer my baby, though he doesn't appear to notice it. I think I am okay with that for a while.
• Landscaped the backyard. It still looks pretty good, if I do say so myself.
• Became an aunt.
• Started trying to potty train Dylan. He's doing pretty good.
• Made out a Last Will & Testament and Legal Guardianship papers.
• Went to Vegas for the first time. We had a blast. We need to make arrangements to go back.
• Started TTC.
• Dylan built his first snowman over Thanksgiving.
• Had a lot of stupid fights, but nothing too serious.
• Conceived and miscarried.

Goals for 2006:

• Get Dylan to fall asleep on his own and sleep in his own bed for at least the majority of each night.
• Walk at least three times a week to get into better shape and maybe lose some weight.
• Get Dylan daytime potty trained (I'm not so concerned about nighttime training yet).
• Start scrapbooking again (paper and electronic).

To you and yours, I wish you a Happy New Year.

May this next year lead you to twice the good and half the bad as the last year.

Pregnancy Announcement and Update (Loss)

I found out I was pregnant on December 2, 2005. We planned to announce it to our families at Christmas by having Dylan wear his "I'm the Big Brother" tee-shirt.

I started spotting on Friday and my wonderful doctor actually opened up the office to get me in for an ultrasound. She thought we would be able to see a heartbeat and that would relieve all worries. We confirmed the pg, but it appeared to have stopped developing at about 4-5 weeks. She tried to be optimistic telling me I probably just had my dates wrong, but I couldn't see how. We still made the announcement to the families, we just tempered it with the fact that I was having some bleeding.

The bleeding continued over the weekend and my doctor confirmed the loss yesterday. I have to go back for testing later this week and early next week to confirm a complete miscarriage.

I think I am doing okay. I can't really talk about it without crying right now, but I think that is pretty normal. Once I started spotting on Friday, I resigned myself to the fact that this would probably be the result. It didn't make hearing it yesterday any easier, but I wasn't shocked.

To be honest with you, having Dylan is the best comfort I can imagine. I just look at him and know that I can get through anything. As I was putting him to bed last night, he was singing a song and he looked up at me with complete love and said, "I happy, Mommy". I just hugged him close and really thought about all the love and joy he has brought to us and told him I was happy too. And, in that moment, I truly was.

Christmas Chaos (not really)

We actually had a really great Christmas. Dylan got too many toys and a lot of really nice clothes. He really “got” Christmas this year. He tore into presents like a pro and helped his mommy and daddy with theirs also.

When he woke up Christmas morning, I don’t think that he remembered it was Christmas. As soon as I reminded him, you should have seen his face light up. It was all I could do to keep him upstairs until Jason got the video camera ready.

He loved everything he got, though the clothes didn’t thrill him as much as the toys. We opened presents at home with just Jason, Dylan, my mom, and me. It was a nice relaxed morning because we didn’t have to worry about anyone coming over. We left the house trashed when we left to go to SILs. She wanted to host Christmas dinner this year, and I quite enjoyed not having to clean or prepare anything other than a few appetizers. Dylan only got a 30 minute nap, but he behaved great. There was just so much going on that I don’t think he even had time to act up.

We did the present thing again when we got to SILs. By the end of the day, I don’t think Dylan knew which way was up. He had a blast and I really must clean out his toy closet to make room for all of his new toys. I think I will pack up some of the new ones to bring out in March or so, just to change things up. He won’t miss them as long as he doesn’t see them. There were a couple of gifts that are a little to “old” for him and those will definitely be put away for later.

All in all, a pretty good Christmas. Gifts highlights are:

Dylan – big teddy bear, bicycle, dump truck, bulldozer, blue truck, playdoh, many, many matchbox cars w/ carrying case and playmate, books, movies

Jason – watch display case, extra long fleece blanket, Georgia Bulldogs chair, new executive cotton dress shirts

Me – my perfume, digital camera, photo editing software, photo printer, new pjs, new shirts, chocolate

Now, I just have to get ready for my dad's visit in a week or so. He is having some minor surgery and will be staying with us for a couple of days while he recovers.

I've Been Tagged Again!!

1.Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot chocolate
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Both, big things just sit out; little things get wrapped.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White
4. Do you hang mistletoe? Nope.
5. When do you put your decorations up? Sometime after Thanksgiving and before Christmas.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? I love it all.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? Opening gifts at my mammaw’s house on Christmas Eve and then getting to come home and openning our gifts from mom and dad before we went off to bed. We would wake up on Christmas morning and all of our gifts from Santa would be laid out. We each (my brother and I) would have one whole couch/loveseat dedicated to out Santa gifts. It was always so much fun to explore our couch.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? Around 4th or 5th grade. After that I started helping mom by keeping my little brother distracted while she was shopping.
9. Do you open presents of Christmas morning or Christmas eve? One on Xmas Eve. The rest Christmas morning.
10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him? I don’t know, this is the first year we will set out cookies.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? I love it because we rarely get it. If I lived where it snowed a lot, I’m not sure how I would feel about it.
12. Can you ice skate? NO
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? No, it seemed like every year just got/gets better. Though there was the Christmas after Dylan was born that I got a 3 stone ring and diamond stud earrings.
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? It’s just a fun time of year. This year we are doing Secret Santa at work, it brings back some of the majic for the adults. I also love the excitement that Dylan has this year.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? I don’t know. I like so many.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Staying home or close to it instead of traveling.
17. What tops your tree? A bow
18. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving? Giving. I love seeing the person’s reaction.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Angels We Have Heard On High (Gloria)
20. Do you have a wreath on your front door? Yes.
21. What do you want most for Christmas this year? There is this one type of perfume that everyone seems to remember that my SIL loves, but forgets that I had it first. So, I made a point to ask Jason for it this year. He is the one who found it for me in Paris to begin with.

Weekend in Review

Saturday

• Went over to SILs house. She had made an appointment with Picture People to have her son's pciture taken and wanted a couple pictures with Dylan too.
• We decided to go ahead and have a full photo shoot with Dylan also.
• Spent 6 hours in a mall. I hate malls.
• Tried to have Dylan's picture taken with Santa. We were not successful and I refused to buy another crying picture.
• Spent way too much money on way too few pictures, but they were so good.
• Went home and went to bed.

Sunday

• We were all so lazy.
• Dylan and I took a 2 and 1/2 hour nap.
• Went grocery shopping.
• That's it.

I have an appointment on Thursday to have our carpets cleaned and then I am going to put up the Christmas tree. I can't wait to get the house decorated for Christmas. I think Dylan is looking forward to it too. This should be a really fun Christmas.

Fun Things in Confluence, PA

~Slipping and sliding up and down snow covered mountain roads.

~Sitting in the car on the side of a mountain road while Jason walks for help because we can't make it up the hill.

~Opening Christmas presents on Thanksgiving Day.

~Seeing Dylan really "get" the whole present thing.

~Having to keep Dylan from rolling his new toys on FILs cabin floor (he had just had them refinished). Try explaining to a 2 year old that he can only push his new toys that Poppy (FIL) gave him on the carpet on in the kitchen - it's not that easy.

~Riding four wheelers in the snow. Dylan did it everyday that we were there. He had a blast.

~Just playing in the snow with Dylan.

~Sledding.

~Building a snowman (it was Dylan's first).

~Leaving to go home.

I've Been Tagged . . .

10 Random things about me you may not know:
1. I have sung at Carnagie Hall (with my high school choir).
2. I love my son more than I ever imagined I could love another person.
3. I am intolerant of stupidity.
4. I hate auditors, especially when they are asking for something that you can’t substantiate to their satisfaction and they make an audit point, but they fully admit they know you are doing things right.
5. I see neediness as a major character weakness in adults.
6. I am not as affectionate as I want to be, but am finding it really hard to change.
7. I have been to individual and couples counseling and found out that most of the things about myself that I don’t like will be hard to change. I am just wired differently than most people.
8. I am scared of divorce. My parents, my Ils, and my brother have all been through or are going through divorce.
9. When ever I enter a scary situation, I always prepare myself for the worst possible outcome. 10. I never set goals for myself. That way I am never disappointed when I don’t reach them.

9 Places I've visited:
1. Paris
2. Las Vegas
3. Disney World
4. Switzerland
5. Pittsburgh, PA
6. Chatanooga, TN
7. New York City
8. Chicago
9. Savannah, GA

8 Ways to win my heart:
1. Tell me how smart I am
2. Tell me how beautiful I am (though I will probably call you a liar)
3. Compliment my son
4. Bring me flowers for no reason
5. Listen to me and actually hear what I am saying
6. Never talk down to me
7. Don’t be too aggressive
8. Don’t lie to me

7 Things I must do before I die:
1. Go back to Paris
2. Go skydiving
3. Hot air balloon ride
4. Parasailing
5. Have another baby
6. See my child(ren) grow up
7. Attend all important events for my children

6 Things I'm afraid of:
1. Outliving my child(ren).
2. Snakes
3. Someone breaking into my house
4. Car accidents
5. Driving on snowy mountain roads
6. Being miserable

5 Things I don't like:
1. Fake people
2. Rude people
3. Bad drivers
4. Too much time with Ils
5. Fighting with anyone

4 Ways to turn me off:
1. Comment on how “hot” I used to be or how much my face has changed.
2. Just grabbing random body parts
3. Stupidity
4. Fakeness

3 things I do every day:
1. Go to the bathroom
2. Hug and kiss Dylan
3. Kiss Jason

2 things that make me happy:
1. Dylan
2. Holidays

1 Thing that is on my mind right now:
1. How I can adjust my working hours to spend more time at home without losing any salary or flexibility.

So, what's going on . . .

• Dylan is recovering from some type of stomach virus. I got a call from daycare on Thursday afternoon and he was out of school Friday and really clingy through the weekend. I think it's the same one that Jason had last weekend.
• Friday, we just stayed home. But about 5:00, we needed to get out, so we went to Wal-mart. I completed my Christmas list for my nephew. Dylan helped to pick out the last two toys. He vetoed my first choice. LOL!!
• Saturday morning we went and Dylan got his haircut. He cried, but a lot less than last time. That's progress, right?!?
• I had a blast on Saturday night with Dylan. We went to Toys R Us. We spent about 2 hours just wandering around the store and playing with everything. He played at the train table (we must get one of those as soon as we get a bigger house), trucks, trucks, trucks, bicycles, jeeps, trucks, trucks, trucks. As we were leaving, I was letting him sit in one of the rides (this one was an ice cream truck). I hadn't put any money in it, he just likes to sit and turn the wheel. Well, a little girl walks up, so Dylan climbs in the back and lets her "drive". Her grandma puts some money in and Dylan got a free ride. Normally, when the thing starts moving he freaks out, but he really enjoyed it. Sigh ~ he is growing up so fast.
• Sunday we went to the park. Again, more proof of what a big boy he is getting to be. In the past, whenever anyone would walk up to him, he would just shut down. If he was climbing a ladder and someone walked in front of him, he would let go and try to get down as fast as he could. Now, he just keeps going. You can tell he is still a little uncomfortable with the new kids, but he's not letting them stop his good time.
• We are all getting ready for our Thanksgiving trip to visit Jason's dad. It takes a lot of planning and 9 or 10 hours of driving to get there, so I hope it's worth it. It would just be so much easier if he would just come to us. Jason and his sister live within an hour of each other. And we both have kids. UGH!! I guess I should really stop complaining. This is the only time of year we ever travel to see him. But, then again, he only visits 3 or 4 times a year at best. And, I think he lied to us. He told us that his DIRECTV would be down for the entire Thanksgiving holiday weekend (Wed-Sun). It seemed fishy that an entire area would be planned to be out of service over a holiday weekend, so I emailed DIRECTV asking if there was a planned outage. They actually got back to me and said that they couldn't find anything for area that we are going to be in. They even went so far as to say that they only schedule outages for the middle of the night (to affect the fewest # of people possible) and they only last about 15 minutes. I actually believe that FIL is going to do something to unplug his service. Last year, his girlfriend got upset that Jason and BIL were watching football games instead of visiting - so I think she put him up to it. I haven't, and probably won't, say anything about what I found out because we are bringing a portable DVD player so I can watch movies. It just makes me mad that I think they are lying to us.
• Really must spend some time cleaning the house and doing laundry this weekend. I don't want to come back to a messy house after the holidays.

Christmas list shopping update:

1. Dylan - almost done; need to pick up 1 or 2 more things
2. Jason - not sure; I just ordered his main gift, but don't really know what we are going to spend on each other this year.
3. Mom - almost done; 1 or 2 more things
4. Dad - almost done; 1 or 2 more things
5. Mike - only have 1 thing, but can't decide if I should just give him money for the rest of his present.
6. MIL - only have 1 thing, but I think I am going to leave most of it up to Jason this year.
7. FIL - done; we do Christmas for him @ Thanksgiving
8. SIL - not started
9. BIL - not started
10. nephew - done
11. GMIL - leaving it up to Jason, but he better get on it because we exchange with her @ Thanksgiving
12. FIL's GF - leaving it up to Jason, but he better get on it because we exchange with her @ Thanksgiving

LOL!!

Your Birthdate: August 30

You have the type of personality that people either love or hate. You're opinionated, dramatic, intense, and very outspoken. And some people can't get enough of you - they're totally addicted. Others, well, they wish you were a little more reserved. Your strength: Your flair Your weakness: If you think it, you say it Your power color: Scarlet red Your power symbol: Inverted triangle Your power month: March

Weekend in Review

Who went: Dylan and I - Jason stayed home and wound up getting really, really sick. So sick that he couldn't/wouldn't play with Dylan at all when we got home because we were afraid he would get Dylan sick.

Where we went: South GA - where my mom, dad, brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and most of my cousins live

How long it took to get there: 4 hours

Who we saw: My mom (Grandma), my dad (Papa), my brother, (Uncle Mike), my grandparents (Mammaw and Granddaddy), my uncle (Uncle Allen), my aunt (Aunt Judy), my cousin (Kim), and Kim's daughters (Makayla and Brinsley)

What Dylan saw for the 1st time up close and personal: tractors, school buses, cows, horses, mules, chickens, and inactive electric fences (Dylan started running toward the cows and wouldn't stop even though we were yelling at him to stop. The yelling made the cows start mooing and now Dylan is scared of cows. LOL!!)


Special highlights: Dylan didn't pee in his diaper all day Saturday. He went potty everytime. He even woke up dry Saturday morning and from his nap. YEAH, DYLAN!!

It was nice to see my family. It was also nice to realize that Dylan is now old enough to remember them from visit to visit. We talked all week about going to Grandma's house and he was so excited for the trip. He couldn't wait to see Grandma and Papa and Uncle Mike. If we are lucky, we see someone in my family every other month or so, but we aren't always lucky. We try to keep Dylan aquainted with them through phone calls and pictures. I think it is working. For a while, it took Dylan up to an hour sometimes to warm up to my mom or dad. The only person who he never seems to forget is my brother. He would always run straight into my brother's arms whenever he saw him. That just have that kind of connection, I guess. All in all - a good weekend.

ABC's of Me (Stolen from EE's Blog)

A is for age: 28
B is for booze of choice: wine cooler (I hate beer and liquor gives me hives now)
C is for career: accountant
D is for your dad's name: David
E is for essential items to bring to a party: whatever we were asked to bring
F is for favorite song at the moment: Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) – Green Day
G is for favorite game: Trivial Pursuit
H is for hometown: Meigs, GA
I is for instruments you play: Piano
J is for jam or jelly you like: Strawberry
K is for kids: Dylan
L is for living arrangements: me, Jason, Dylan, and Maggie (our dog)
M is for mom's name: Glenda
N is for name of your crush: Jason (yes, I still have a crush on my DH-most days)
O is for overnight hospital stays: 2 (c-section and mastitis)
P is for phobias: someone breaking into my house when I’m at home
Q is for quotes you like: You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, she is beautiful because you love her. ~Author Unknown and Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. ~Harvey Fierstein
R is for relationship that lasted the longest: this one – started dating in 1996 and got married in 2000, so we have been together over 9 years.
S is for sexual preference: men
T is for time you wake up: s/b 6:30, but is usually 7:00
U is for underwear: yes, thongs usually
V is for vegetable you love: sweet peas
W is for weekend plans: Taking Dylan to get a haircut and then SIL is coming to the house and we are putting together a photo album of pictures from her and DH’s childhood to adulthood. She had to make copies from MIL’s pictures. FIL asked for this for Christmas since MIL wound up with all of the pictures in the divorce.
X is for x-rays you've had: dental x-rays at each visit (2x a year) and chest x-ray when I was younger
Y is for yummy food you make: chicken pot pie
Z is for zodiac sign: Virgo

Happy Halloween!!

Friday was the Fall Carnival at daycare. Dylan wore his costume and participated in a costume parade. Jason was able to make it to the parade this year and Dylan was so excited to see him. As soon as he saw his daddy he came running over to him. Unfortunately, Dylan cried when Jason had to leave, but the candy and party soon made him happy again.

Tonight, we will go trick-or-treating at one of our local malls. You can't beat trick-or-treating inside in the warmth and Mommy only has to drive to one place.

We had a good weekend. We spent most of the weekend at home. Dylan and I painted his pumpkin (brought to daycare specially for him by the pumpkin fairy) on Saturday. It's now a special tye-dye psycodelic pumpkin. We played a little soccer while Jason cleaned out the garage. He had a blast and I can now park my car in the garage. I love being able to do that in the winter.

Random Thoughts

• Dylan is growing up so fast. He just amazes me more and more everyday. His vocabulary is exploding and he is starting to develop empathy (or is it sympathy) when someone gets hurt. (He is usually the one who caused the hurt, but he is very quick to say sorry. Last night, he even apologized to the house because he ran into the wall. Funny stuff, I tell ya.)
• I hate not being at home on the weekends. When we come home, there is so much to do and not enough time to do it. It's no wonder I can't keep up with the laundry. I'm never home long enough to complete a cycle (wash, dry, fold, put away).
• More importantly, I hate spending the weekends with my ILs. I actually don't really mind it once we're there, but I hate the planning and build up that it takes to get to that point.
• Professional changes may be occuring in our lives in the next year. Can't say more than that now, but stay tuned for further details.
• On a completely unrelated note, keep your fingers crossed for me. I will let you know if it worked.
• Saw my nephew, Ty, this weekend and he is getting so big. I guess that's what happens when you are eating more babyfood at 6 mo than you are taking bottles. (BTW, I hate to judge like that, but my BIL and SIL have made some crazy parenting choices and this is just one more in the long line of them.)
• Does it bother anyone else when Moms or MILs by seasonal clothing for you child? My MIL bought Dylan a Halloween t-shirt. Nice jesture, but she never seems to consider that I always buy these things myself (and I love going shopping for said items). For Dylan's first Christmas, she insisted on buying his Christmas pjs and she always gets him an Easter basket. Again, nice jestures, but I just feel like she is infringing on me.
• Lots of things swirling in my head that I can't really put out there yet, but need to acknowledge here anyway.

Happy Birthday, Babe!!

Well, we met 9 years ago. I was dating someone else, but meeting you made me realize all that I was missing in my relationship (and my life). I never imagined we would end up together, but I was so grateful that you helped me realize I deserved more than I was getting. When you asked me out, I thought I was dreaming. A couple of months later, when you dumped me, I wished I had been.

Yeah, we had a rough start, but we persevered. And I'm so glad we did. I know we make each other crazy sometimes and we let little stuff drive us to distraction, but all in all, our life is good, no it's pretty great. And it wouldn't be nearly as great if we weren't together.

We have been married for over 5 years now and we have an amazing son together. You are a good husband and an amazing father. We compliment each other so well, in our life choices and in parenting our son. Together, we make the perfect pair. At least, I think so and that's all that matters.

So, today, on your birthday, please know that you are loved, appreciated, and adored for ever and always.

You Oughtta Be In Pictures

It has been a long time since Dylan has had a professional picture taken. The last one he sat for was when he was 10 months old. Since then, he has refused all attempts of well-meaning photographers. He refuses whether I am there or not. This isn't that huge of a deal, but I really want new pictures (professional pictures, that is). We have tried to fill the void with pictures we take ourselves. And while some of them are very good, it just isn't the same.

Last week, it was picture day again at daycare. I was droppping Dylan off as the photographer was leading the class to the "studio". I asked Dylan if he wanted to go take a picture and he said no, so I just let it go. Well, at pick up that afternoon, I learned that as soon as I left he asked his teacher to "go take picture". She led him back, fully expecting to have to turn around as soon as they got there because she has been with Dylan for a while and knows his picture phobia. To her, and later my surprise, he sat there and (with a little effort from the photographer) smiled. She told me she is positive that the photographer got at least 2 pictures with Dylan smiling. I told her I was so excited to get a picture that I really didn't care what it looks like. I do care, but I know it will be gorgeous. I mean, it is a picture of my child, how could it not be. LOL!!

I'm so excited. I can't wait to see the proofs. I may have to order a larger package than normal just because it's been soooo long. LOL!!

Sick and Tired

Dylan and I are sick. He has a runny nose, cough, and ear infection. I took him to the doctor on Monday. We waited in the exam room for almost 30 minutes, Dylan was in full tantrum mode, and I couldn't even blame him because I would have screamed and cried too if I thought I could get away with it. When the doctor came in and made some comment about him being upset, I quickly let him know that he was happy and playing for the first 20 minutes we were waiting, but that the last 10 minutes or so he was "done" with it. He seemed to understand my point. Anyway, Dylan was prescribed an antibiotic (which, btw, is now orange and smells like a dreamsicle instead of the pink that smells like bubble gum or something).

I have a stuffy nose, headache, and just general achiness. Benedryl here I come. Neither of us are sleeping all that well, so we are both tired.

That is all.

Daycare

After months of searching, Dylan's daycare has finally found a permanent morning teacher. It is such a relief to know who is going to be in his room when I drop off in the mornings.

His last teacher had to leave due to scheduling conflicts. She was trying to go back to school for a higher degree and could never work out her work and school schedules. Dylan had just gotten used to her a couple of weeks before she left. So, I had about 2 weeks of non-crying dropoffs and then it started all over again. The teacher's aide was awesome also, but she is pregnant and as soon as she reached her second trimester (just weeks after the main teacher left), she had to transfer out of the toddler room due to weight restrictions on how much she could lift. This started the parade of subs. All of the subs were current teachers at the school, so it wasn't like they were just bringing random people off of the street, but they weren't anyone who Dylan was comfortable with, so the tearworks started again. Every morning for 2 - 2 1/2 months, I had to hand him over to some random teacher while he cried. (He never cried more than a minute or two - I know because I waited outside his room to see how long it took him to calm down). It was so sad.

Then, about a week ago, we walk into his room and there is someone new. Someone I have never seen before. She introduces herself (none of the subs ever did that) and tells us she is going to be the new morning teacher. She has a calm presence and a soft tone to her voice. She takes Dylan and he hasn't cried since. He clings a little at drop off some mornings, but no more tears. It's like he could sense that she would be around for a while. At least, I hope she is.

Department of Family and Children Services

I had this whole update typed out and it got eaten somewhere.

So, long story short - The Department of Family and Children Services here in GA sucks. Once a child turns 18, they are dropped off at a homeless shelter unless they have previously arranged for somewhere else to go. Does that seem fair? Does the state actually do anything during the time that the kids are in their custody to prepare them for life? Yeah, not so much. They make sure that they go to school, but they don't actually care whether or not they are able to graduate from high school. The most popular arrangement for DFCS kids seems to be the military. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against the military, but I hate to see kids think it is their only option other than a homeless shelter.

The reason I am on this "soapbox" is because we spent some time this weekend with a messed up 17 year old (when he was younger, his mom had allowed her boyfriends to use him as a play toy and punching bag). He is trying to get his life back on track (just spent a year in a wilderness program - a last chance for him) and now he only has a year to get his life together before he is abandoned. That just sucks.

Happy Birthday, Mom

So, today is my mom's birthday. She works in a flower shop, so sending her flowers or a plant is completely out of the question. I hate wrapping and sending gifts in the mail, so I typically have something else sent to her. This year, I decided to send some candy. So, I picked something that I thought she would like off of 1-800-flowers and picked today as the delivery date.

How ironic is it that the flower shop she works at is the one that got the order and that my grandmother is the one who actually filled the order to give to my mom. It's a good thing that my mom took today off or she might have had to prepare her own birthday gift and deliver it to herself.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!! I hope you had a great day!!

I am officially the mom of a 2 year old

Well, I guess I have been since June. But, the terrible twos have officially begun. He's not a bad kid, he's great actually. It's just so hard to see my sweet, loving child turn into a tantrum throwing monster. He can cry for so long (he has a great memory) and I can't distract him anymore. Ignoring him doesn't work, he just gets louder (then he wants to sit in my lap and he calms down). I can't talk him "down" from the tantrum. His reasoning skills are good, but he's still only 2.

I can deal with the tantrums during the daylight hours, but the ones that start at 1:00 in the morning are a little more difficult to accept. One night last week, he cried for over an hour. Not crying really, just screaming. He would fade away, then he would get a second, third, fourth, etc. wind. All because I wouldn't let him watch Clifford at 1:00 in the morning. I gave in about 2:00. I know, I know, I just reinforced to him that if he cried long enough he will get what he wants. At 2:00 in the morning, when I have to go to work the next day, he just might always get what he wants. Hopefully, he will outgrow this phase before he can tell the difference between work days and non-work days. He's only 2, he will eventually want to sleep all night.

And then, when he gets older (and doesn't live at home) he can watch whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Even Clifford at 1:00 in the morning, though I think that will lose its appeal before that time actually comes.

Man, that pisses me off!!

Last week we got a note from Dylan's daycare saying that today was Grandparent's Luncheon Day. Jason and I discussed it and decided that it was best not to even mention it to Cyndi (Jason's mom) - she is the only one who could have made it. We know she would have loved to go, but we thought it would be too hard on Dylan. He has a really hard time at drop off in the mornings and we didn't want to ruin his naptime with her leaving him after lunch.

Well, apparently, she wanted to drop by the school today to see him or she was driving by his school for some reason (she has Mondays off) and she saw the sign out in front of the school announcing the Grandparent's Lunch and she called all upset that we hadn't told her about it. I didn't get to talk to her, so she called Jason. He explained to her why we hadn't told her, but because she was already at the school he told her she could go ahead and eat lunch, if she wanted to.

So, she called me after lunch and, very smuggly, told me that he hadn't cried when she left. He asked to take him home and he started to cry, but then one of the teachers held him and he waved bye-bye to her. She said he was really, really sleepy, so she thinks that could be why he didn't put up much of a fight. He didn't eat lunch (but ate 2 pieces of cake), but I can't really blame that on her because he is going through a picky phase right now anyway.

So, on the one hand, I am glad it went well. On the other hand, I am pissed she was on our side of town (she lives an hour in the other direction), I am pissed she "forced" Jason to change our position on this issue (I don't really blame him on this one because if she had talked to me first and was sitting outside of his school, I would have told her to go ahead as well), I am pissed that she will play the "victim" in the scenario anyway, I am pissed that she didn't think enough of our position as parents to honor our wishes even though she says she understood the reasoning, but more than anything else I am pissed that if he had pitched a fit when she left, it could have all been prevented. I know, I know, he didn't pitch a fit, but we won't know the full effect of her visit until we get Dylan's daily report today. She better pray it's a good one.

Long Time No "See"

It has been a long time, old friend. I haven't seen you in almost two weeks. Not much has happened, but I should still write. I wanted you to chronicle this busy time in our lives and I am falling down on my end of the bargain. So, I am going to try to do a quick catch-up post.

1. Hurricane Katrina was devastating. It brought/brings me to tears to see the devastation in New Orleans. It also infuriated me that everyone seemed so ready to blame the president and the federal government. Come on, people, take a little personal responsibility. People who should have left didn't, the local government didn't protect the people who couldn't or wouldn't leave, the state delayed asking for help, and when help was finally requested, it was slow in coming. There is so much blame to pass around that it just infuriates me that it is all getting passed to the federal government. So, maybe they should have come in without being asked, then they would be said to have stepped on the LA governor's toes. And, if this hasn't been non-PC enough for you let me say one more thing - why would anyone think that a government dependant population (which New Orleans is/was - I saw one report that 98% of the people left in the devastation (the ones who didn't leave) were on some form of government assistance) would actually take personal responsibility for their own lives and the lives of their children in the face of a hurricane. I mean, I kind of understand not having the means to get out and not really believing it would be that bad, but why would you take a chance with the lives of your kids. How many kids, or adults for that matter, could have been saved if they had just decided to walk out of the city before the city shut down the roads?

2. Atlanta almost ran out of gas on August 31. There was a rumor that we weren't going to get any more gas for days and so panic ensued. People left work to line up at gas stations. Prices skyrocketed. Gas stations ran out of gas. People were driving around like crazy looking for any station (who cares about the price) that even had gas to sell. It was sad and quite scary.

3. I went on a shopping spree with the money that I got for my birthday. Thanks everybody!! I got new clothes, which I really needed. I have been slow to buy clothes in my current size. I don't like the size that I am and thought if I didn't buy clothes, it would motivate me to lose weight. Well, after two years of being this weight, I don't think that plan is working out too well. So, I bought new clothes. It was fun and depressing at the same time.

4. We went to the lake for Labor Day weekend. We had a good time and Dylan got into the lake 3 days in a row. He cried less and less each day, so I hope he won't be scarred by us making him get into the lake when he didn't want to. I think I am going to sign him up for swimming lessons this fall and winter. I don't want him to be afraid of the water and I want him to learn some water safety.

5. I started a new exercise class. I am only going once a week (Wednesday nights), but it is something, right?? My first class was September 7 and I really enjoyed it. It is an hour long class and it really flew by. I couldn't believe it when the teacher said time was up. But, man was I sore the next couple of days. My abs hurt so bad (and it didn't help that I came down with a cough - everytime I coughed, it hurt). It is a small class and the teacher is really nice. I may sign up for 2 nights a week next session.

6. We had a lazy weekend (Sept 9-11). It was nice not to have to do anything, but we didn't really get anything done either. We went shopping. I finally helped Jason pick out my birthday present. It took forever to find a jacket that I liked and that I was willing to pay the price. Jason would have spent more, but I just couldn't do it. We also got Dylan some shirts with trucks on them. Lately, he only wants to wear shirts with trucks. Silly boy!!

7. And finally a thought: I have decided to stop worrying about my weight until I am finished having kids. It seems a little pointless to lose weight and then get pregnant and gain weight again, so I'm not going to do it. Now, don't get me wrong. I am going to keep going to my new exercise class. I think I need to be in better shape, but I don't care if I lose weight from it right now. After I am finished having kids, I am going to lose weight and be in great shape. I know I can do it and I am willing to do what ever it takes to make it happen. I am going to approach my doctors and get their help. I will be at a healthy weight again!!!

Happy Birthday to Me!!

We got off to a rough start this morning with Jason asking me what I wanted for my birthday (not so subtlely letting me know that he hadn't gotten me anything yet). Dylan was extremely clingy and we were running about 30 minutes late for everything. Work is hectic because we are in the middle of month end close and we are going through a change of control. I was informed last night that we are having dinner with the ILs tomorrow to celebrate my birthday. (Note I said informed we would be doing it, not asked if I would like to do it. I knew it would happen, it happens every year. One year I hope I finally get up the nerve to tell them I hate going out to eat with them for my birthday. But, not a fight I am willing to fight this year. They mean well, they just assume too much.) I know Jason will get me something great that I didn't even know that I wanted, he always does. Dylan will sing "Happy Birthday", which will be awesome. The day will eventually end well.

On a good note, I have already received birthday cards from my mom, my mammaw, my husband's grandmother, my father-in-law, and my father-in-law's girlfriend. I have been called by my mom, my dad, and my mother-in-law (who is also taking me out to dinner tomorrow - LOL!!).

Random Thoughts

• I am starting to reach the age that I feel inside. I have always been told that I am an old soul. I really believe that. When you ask people how old they feel, they usually name an age much younger than they actually are. I am starting to feel my age. It feels good.
• I am more emotional since I had my son. I'm not sure I like it.
• I appreciate my parents a lot more since I had my son. I wish I saw them more and I wish I could tell them without crying.
• I love my husband although he annoys the hell out of me a lot of the time. I can't imagine not being with him.
• Periodically, I rework our household budget just to make sure that we could live on one salary. (We can, and we could maintain our current lifestyle, but it would be really, really hard.) It is reassuring to me that should something happen to one of us (or one of our jobs) we would be okay.
• I am so grateful for the lives that my husband and I have built. We don't struggle and we don't really want for anything. This is success to me.
• I can't wait to be pregnant again. I look longingly at maternity clothes and can't wait to buy some new ones. (I have actually already bought a few items. They were on sale and really cheap.) I can't wait to have another baby in the house. I hope that Dylan starts sleeping better at night before I have to deal with newborn sleep schedules, but I'm not counting on it.
• I really think Dylan will make an awesome big brother.
• I worry about Dylan's shyness. I had a really hard time in my childhood because of my shyness/fear of change and I don't want him to have to endure that.

Whew!! What a week(end)!!

1. Jason was sick most of last week.

2. Dylan got a cold. The poor kid can't catch a break.

3. Jason painted his mom's house this weekend. I think he had a slight case of heat exhaustion. :( He decided that the best time to paint the house was from 2:00 - 6:00 on Saturday afternoon. What makes men think that the hottest part of the day is the best time to be outside performing labor intensive work.

4. After Jason finished painting, we went to the pool. He got cooled off and started feeling better. Dylan had a blast in the pool. Hopefully, he is starting to get over his fear of the water.

5. Went out to dinner with Mindi, Scott, and Ty. Yum, Carrabba's!!

6. Rushed home on Sunday to clean house and buy groceries.

7. One of my oldest friends and his wife came over for dinner Sunday night. We really have to get together more often.

8. I signed up for a once a week aerobics class. I had to pay for it, so maybe this will motivate me to go. I really have to get in shape. I would love to lose weight, but that is secondary right now. I just don't feel healthy. That sucks.

All in all, a good, busy week(end)!!

Weekend In Review

Friday

• Stay home with Dylan
• Take Dylan to see Jason at school
• Go shopping
• Buy Dylan some fall clothes (he had almost none - I didn't spend a lot and he could still use more, but this will get us started. JCPenney was having a great sale)

Saturday

• Jason goes to school this weekend, so it's just Dylan and me again
• Take the car to get the radio fixed AGAIN. It had better be right this time.
• Go shopping
• Go grocery shopping
• Make dinner for Jason and his classmate that spent the night (traffic and weather turned a 1 hour trip into a 2 and a half hour trip from the school to our house)

Sunday

• Jason is in school again today
• Dylan and I just hang out at home
• Took a 3 hour nap, so nice!!

Back to the Doctor

So, I called Dylan's peditrician and they are upset with us that we didn't bring Dylan in for a follow-up after the ER visit. Shouldn't someone tell us to do that. I mean are we supposed to know that one doctor poking and prodding isn't good enough. UGH!!

Anyway, daycare calls and Dylan has another fever. 101.9. Please God, not again. So, I set up an emergency appointment with his peditrician and Jason goes to get Dylan. We meet at the doctor's office and get told, yet again, that it must just be a virus.

Gee, thanks for that valuable bit of info.

Ugh . . .I thought we had escaped

So, when I get pregnant with Dylan my mother-in-law informs me about some seizures that Jason and his dad had when they were babies. They each had one around the age of 18 months and then proceded to have 2 or 3 more until they turned 4 or 5. So, I did some research and asked her if they were related to some high fever or something. Yes, they were, so we figured they were probably febrile seizures.

Fast forward - Dylan has had numerous high fevers, but never a seizure. When he turned 2, I thought we had escaped without him having to go through that. NOPE!!

Tonight, he came up to me and wanted me to hold him. So, when I picked him up I thought he felt hot. Took his temp and it was 102. Gave some Tylenol and he started to drink some juice. He dropped the juice and started to seize.

He had been seizing for about 1 minute when he started to turn a little blue so we called 911 and were put ON HOLD!!! Who gets put on hold when they call 911 - crazy, I tell ya. So, anyway, the seizure lasted about 2 and a half minutes. It ended right as the 911 operator picked up. Paramedics came and tried to get his temp down to no avail. So, Dylan and I took a ride in an ambulance.

It was about 30 minutes after the seizure ended before Dylan was able to talk to us. It was so scary, we both thought some pretty horrible thoughts.

An ambulance ride, heart monitor, blood draw, and 5 hours in the emergency room later, we still don't know what caused the fever that caused the seizure. So, it must be a virus. Nothing to do, but to wait it out.

THAT SUCKS!!

Family Reunions

Well, it's that time of year again . . . family reunion time.

Once a year, on the first weekend of August, the Hayes family reunion takes place. It all began as a celebration of my great-grandfather's birthday. It has continued through his (and many of his children's) death(s). At this time of year, all of his decendants (or at least those who want to come) gather around to reconnect. As a child I really looked forward to this time. I got to hang out with lots of cousins that I never got to see except for this one time a year.

As an adult, I still look forward to it, but not in the same way. A lot of people don't make the effort to attend anymore. It's sad actually because there are so few of the "children" (my granddad and his 11 brothers and sisters) left. It seems like as the "children" pass away, there families stop coming. Not completely, but enough to notice the difference.

I can remember when I was a child that we all had name tags (in the shape of a tree, no less) with our names and also the name of the "child" that we belonged to. We always had about 200 people each year. Now, I would guess that we would struggle to reach 100, but I could be wrong.

Hopefully, the tradition won't die. My cousin seems to have taken on a lead role in the preparation for the past two years, maybe he will eventually step up and continue this after the current generation decides to step down.

It's not a tumor . . .

Well, it appears that I will just have to learn to live with a light flashing in the corner of my eye. It's not cancer or a brain tumor, thank goodness. It's not something as simple as pressure build-up from my sinus infection, dang it. It's not a precursor to a migraine or an optical migraine.

It's permanent. The integrity of part of my eye has changed and is causing some trauma to my retina. The trauma is exhibited to my by the flashes of light. It could get worse and lead to a detached retina or it could stay this way forever.

Either way, I will always have flash photography going on out of the corner of my left eye.

It's been a while

Well, it's been a while since I've been here. That happens to me a lot. I start something with really good intentions (diet, exercise, blog, you name it) and I have a really hard time with following through. I haven't always been this way. I can be pretty focused when I have to be, it just seems like priorities have changed so much over the last few years.

Well, here's a catch up entry.

Week of July 17-23

• It's Jason last week of summer vacation and he is supposed to paint his mom's house
• His mom heard that it was supposed to rain all week, so she sent him home
• It didn't rain
• We went to the lakehouse for the weekend with Mindi, Scott, Ty, Jill, Jeff, and Maggie
• Dylan had a blast playing with Maggie

Week of July 24-30

• It's Jason's first week back to work
• Dylan gets sick with a throat infection and I take off work for 2 days. (It could have been worse. Daycare told me he had been exposed to Strep Throat and Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease)
• I get sick on my first day back to work (a sinus infection I think)
• I started seeing flashes of light out of the corner of my left eye (please let it be because of the pressure from the sinus infection and not from a retinal tear - I have an appointment with an opthamologist on Thursday. It's only been 4 or 5 years since I've had my eyes checked - LOL)
• Jason takes Dylan to his mom's house for the weekend so I can have a break
• We all had a good weekend

Weekend Musings

So, we had a busy weekend.

Saturday

• Drove across town and Dylan napped in the car
• Spent some time with Mindi, Scott, and "baby Ty"
• Went to a birthday party
• Dylan did some crafts and played in the sand
• Dylan refused to run in the sprinkler and play in the kiddie pool (in my shy guys defense, though, he was the youngest kid there by about 2 years)
• Drove back home
• Packed and picked up Maggie
• Got the new Harry Potter book
• Drove to the lakehouse

Sunday

• Read Harry Potter
• Dylan peed on the potty (yeah!!)
• Dylan and I drove home (Jason won't be home until Monday)
• Finished Harry Potter

Monday Morning

• Dylan peed on the potty (yeah!!)
• Drop off at daycare was hard (all Mondays are)

Dylan is doing good with his potty training, I think. I am not sure he realizes when he needs to go all of the time, but if we remember to ask him about it, he seems to be doing a good job.

On another note, I am a single parent this week. Jason is leaving to paint his mom's house and will be gone from Tuesday to Friday. She is paying him, so it will be nice that his new school clothes won't come out of our budget this year. The upside of this is maybe I can get Dylan back on a good sleep schedule. (I can never accomplish this when Jason is home, so I have 3 nights to get started with).

All in all a good weekend. Tiring, but good.

Daycare Called . . .

We have been beginning the potty training process with Dylan. We're not forcing it, but if he says he needs to potty, we take him and sit him on the potty. Whether he does anything or not is not the point.

Well today at daycare, Dylan asked to go potty and peed on the potty. They were so proud of him. They gave him a treat and threw an impromptu party.

They called Jason and he called me. Who knew a kid's bathroom breaks would be so exciting.

And it rained for 40 days . . .

It rained all weekend here!! Thanks a lot, Dennis.

We had promised Dylan that we would take him to the park on Saturday. So hoping for the best, we head to the park. We had only been there for about 5 minutes before it started raining again. So, we had to carry a screaming 2 year-old away from the park in the pouring rain.

So, Sunday morning, we wake up and decide to take him back. Can I just tell you that 9:30 on a Sunday morning is a great time to take your kids to the park?!?! We had the entire place to ourselves. The slides were wet, but that didn't slow Dylan down one bit.

There is this one slide that he is usually a little afraid of. It's about 15-20 feet tall with 3 spirals on the way down. He had been climbing and playing and having a blast. So, he finally worked up the courage to go to the top of this big slide and wouldn't you know it - there was a big puddle right where he was supposed to sit down to slide. AND there was also a huge puddle at the bottom of the slide. So, what does the little man do?? He starts splashing in the water. He plays in it so long that he drys the spot off. When he is done, he is soaked. Then, he decides it's time to slide. So, down he goes. Right into the puddle at the bottom of the slide. So now, he's wet from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet and makes it his personal mission to dry off the bottom of the slide as well. He procedes to climb back to the top and Jason convinces him to slide down head first. Ten or fifteen slides later (and just as kids were starting to arrive to play), Dylan has successfully dried most of the slides in the park. What a thoughtful little guy.

Is It Really?!?!?

My husband just called me at work.

Him: Happy Anniversary
Me: D@mn, it is, isn't it?!?!?
Him: I knew you had forgotten.
Me: I didn't forget, I remembered all week. I just didn't remember today.

Okay, how many women forget their anniversary?? Two years in a row?? After only five years?? Yeah, we both forgot last year. I didn't remember until the next morning. We suck.

In our (my) defense, though, we celebrated early both years. We went to Vegas last week and celebrated there. We have already exchanged gifts. That makes it better, right? Right?!?