It alive?!

I didn't know this still exist? Should I continue here or start on my slam book 2.0?

나는바나입니다

I had so much thoughts these past few days. Been thinking too much and been wondering about things.
This morning, I woke up and saw the V broadcast Gong Chan Sik did for his exhibition. "Behind Story"? I realize, he shared something so dearly to him. Something I consider to be personal for him to share. But he did share it. He walked through the exhibition, the pictures he took and explain it one by one. Tbh, I did mention I wouldn't mind buying a copy of his exhibition if ever they release is in a form of book or something. But then I realize, it was selfish of me to ask something like that. Since (to me) what he shared was something personal and for BANA only, and it shouldn't be mass produced and monetized. Something so precious should not be monetized, ever. It felt so wrong. I, was touched watching the video. Even though I could only understand a few words, but his message came through.
I myself take pictures as a hobby, and I kind of know what it feels like when I want to take a picture, while I'm taking a picture and what a picture I took makes me feel. There is a story behind every picture and everything that comes with it makes the picture special. There's so much more of Chan that we don't know. With time, I hope to get to know him better.
Recently, I have been noticing something about him. His smile is different. His gaze is different. He may have been tired. If so, I do wish he get some time off for a breather. I'm crossing my fingers hoping that it's not something else such as something bothering him or has upset him.
Then in LINE group chat, Didi unnie shared a video of CNU mentioning the ring he wears around his neck. It's the ring Didi unnie gave them of course. When CNU uttered the words BANA eomma. :-) I'm so... that's when it broke me into tears. I mean, I was already fragile after Gongchan's video but then CNU mentioning about the ring and who it was from. These boys, these men are so special. The fact that he holds something a fan gave him so dearly and he treasures it by wearing it around his neck means something. And the fact that he openly announced who it was from also means something.
Their character and personality are so nice and kind, it's hard not to fall in love with them. How not to fall in love with them?
Watching their MV on YouTube and reading the comments, I read some that expresses their amazement of how the boys aren't as popular as they should be. When the music was so good and the MV itself was full of aesthetic value, it surprises some, of how it could only gather a small amount of views even after more than a week of being released compared to a mere teaser which gathered million of views in just a few days. Yes, I wonder about the same thing too.
Tbh, imho, they are no ordinary idol. Let me quote what I posted in the LINE group this morning:
The fact that they acknowledge fans is great enough. But to acknowledge international fans is something else. And he even call Didi unnie BANA eomma. How to live? I won't be able to breathe if I were you..

B1A4 is really something else. Like they really really think of BANA all the time. They do things with the thoughts of BANA in mind. Everything they do is to please BANA. They read responses and takes notes about what BANA think or react. And work on improving.

Sometimes I think they put BANA before themselves at times and work harder to make BANA happy.

how to not love them? How? I can not imagine anyone could ever hate them.

I love you! I admit I can't openly say that I love them in real life (outside the virtual world) due to misconceptions, generalization and discrimination, but from the bottom of my heart, I do care for them. Looking at pictures of them every day. Wondering about how they are doing and what they are feeling. Hoping that they are always in the best of health. Happy and healthy without even a worry in the world. Praying for their success despite popular demand or current trend. I just want them to keep doing what they want and do what they love to do without being affected by public expectations. Just as long as they are content with what they are doing, I'll be supporting them till the end of time.
I am a BANA
나는 바나 입니다
#B1A4 #BANA #바나

Comel part ii

I'm tired of waiting. Tired of being patience and just sit and accept my fate.

Sebenarnya dah bosan menunggu dan menanti. Bosan tunggu muka clear, bersih, bebas jerawat dan parut. Bosan tunggu satu benda menarik jadi dalam hidup. Bosan bila hidup dalam keaadaan statik selama 32 tahun. Lagi bosan bila hidup dalam kekangan.

Life restrictions, who put it there? obviously, there are some rules I have to follow. But some I just made to limit myself. I feel like I'm being stagnant all these years because of the stupid rules I made for myself. I think it's time to break free from all of this.

Few weeks ago, I wrote a Facebook status..
Considering on going on a lone trip. Since waiting for my sister to be available or having a friend to go with isn't happening anytime soon. But.... Just as I was having this plan in my head, they decided to release the news of world tour. Wth?!?
And now I have decided to just do what I want.

Dah letih simpan duit, tapi tak merasa ke tempat orang. Dah letih sabar bila muka ada tompok-tompok bekas jerawat macam biskut Chipsmore (with extra chips) yang tak pernahnya bersih. Dah letih.

Dah letih menunggu...
Ya Allah. Mampukah aku tunggu lagi? Haruskah aku tunggu lagi? Tunjukkanlah jalan yang lurus untukku ya Allah.

끝~
End of part ii

Comel

Sebenarnya dah penat berahsia. . .
Bukan sebab apa. Tapi sebab tak mau orang lain 'judge' bila dah tahu aspek-aspek peribadi.

Why are people so afraid of being judged? When the only one that matter is the way Allah sees you. So who cares what everyone else thinks?

Dari kecil, dari zaman sekolah, memang ada nama timangan di lain lain tempat. Setiap tempat berbeza punya nama samaran yang berlainan. Seperti mana saya tak suka nama timangan di rumah diketahui orang luar, begitu juga nama saya di sekolah A di ketahui di sekolah B. Pelik kan?

I am a weird girl. Just the thought of someone knowing my other nicknames just irks me. I feel exposed as I feel the information about my name itself is something intimate, and should be kept as an exclusive information.

Knowing something itself is one thing, judging and reacting differently after knowing is something different and spreading the information to someone else is another.

I'm sure there is a medical term for this.

끝~
End of part I

Apa itu sujud sahwi

https://www.islampos.com/apa-itu-sujud-sahwi-bagaimana-caranya-109869/

I'm sad and hurt

1. Bukan tak puas hati. Cuma terkecik hati. Sikit je. Tak banyak pun.
2. Tak marah lah. Mana ada marah, cuma beri alternatif, cara untuk kongsi gambar dengan betul. Ada butang kongsi (share) kan? Tekan je kongsi.
3. Memang selalu pesan pun, kongsi gambar boleh. Tapi tak perlu lah muat naik semula. Siap crop watermark lagi. Sedih saya tau.

Memang tak ada untung pun. Tapi jom, mari kita fikir balik, apa itu watermark?
Penat² berdiri berjam-jam, ambil gambar dari sudut terbaik, cuba untuk rakam saat² manis aktiviti² di sekolah, untuk siapa? Untuk tontonan umum juga. Memang semua gambar-gambar tu diambil dengan tujuan supaya boleh dikongsi. Tak ada niat pun untuk simpan untuk tontonan sendiri.

Saya suka ambil gambar. Lagi suka bila ada orang 'like' gambar² tu. Ia semacam beri satu kepuasan. Bukan minta di puji, cuma bila umum suka dan komen, rasa hasil kerja itu berbaloi. Tidak la terasa semacam syok sendiri. "Oh, dia suka gambar tu? Hmm.. baguslah." Senyum sendiri.

Lagi, kalau iya pun nak kongsi, budi tatacara sekurang-kurangnya paut la semula ke 'page' asal. Atau nyatakan mana gambar tu di ambil, atau oleh siapa. Sedih bila nampak post tu. Rasa macam hasil kerja kena curi pulak. Mungkin saye je kot yang sensitif lebih.

Tapi tak apalah, puan juga mungkin terkejut bila saya share gambar puan kan?
Ya, saya salah. Tak patut saya kongsi 'screen capture' sebegitu tanpa menutup nama dan gambar profil puan terlebih dahulu. Mungkin kerana itu kroni puan melenting dan panggil saya perempuan. That's cute! How did you know that I'm a woman?

Again, I was not mad at you. I was just a little sad that my hard work was taken for granted. Seeing the pictures I took getting responds is kind of an acknowledgment that my work is actually appreciated. But, it's okay. Since you seem to not know the courtesy of sharing pictures online, I forgive you.

I know it is common to face this kind of situation when sharing public pictures online. So I shouldn't be too upset about it. Besides, I did some wrongs too.
And I think I should ask for forgiveness too.

Maafkan saya.

I need to take some days off

Always occupied on the weekends but has nothing to do at work. I should be taking some days off from work to get things done at home. But still, there's no guarantee I'll get anything done, since I didn't get anything done even on the weekends. So...

I need to change.

Pemalas. That's what I am. I need to change this. It's already 2015 and I'm still the same me 10 years ago. Time to change all that. First thing first, need to clear out my room. I need to take a proof shoot of how messy my room is right now. Second, I need to stop procrastinating.

Go B1A4 US Scandal

1. Bitch

I respect your opinion, but to call someone bitch just because she was doing her job or reading a script is just plain rude and disrespectful. That is like, calling you the same, as you are taking the bus to school. -_- how would you feel if someone you don’t know and don’t know you suddenly call you bitch? Would you like that? And to do that to someone who works with your so called oppa? Shameful! What would you think if YOUR oppa finds out you are acting selfishly? Imagine how embarrass they would be if they knew someone they worked (or even friends) with were dissed because of them? Did you ever think of that? AND You do not call someone who said "BANAs are sweet" a bitch. Just NO!


2. Scandal

Obviously using the word scandal was a joke. Why take it so seriously? And if you were a true BANA you would have remembered what happened to your beloved oppas in January this year. You want scandal? We give you scandal. Hence Go B1A4 US Scandal. Imho, I personally think this is a way for them to make a joke about what happened. To flip the page and to go pass it and look back and say, “there was a time..”


3. Justin Bieber

So what if Sandeul gets compared to Justin Bieber? Sandeul is a singer and so is Justin. And to Stephanie maybe, a singer is a singer. She did not mention anything like “You sing as well as Justin.” Though it might be scripted, but to freaked out just because what she said? Tsk tsk.

From what I’ve noticed, there are a bunch of Go! Episodes in Mnet America. So in May, they decide on B1A4. Please don’t make them regret that. We miss B1A4 so much that BANAs are almost begging for just about anything of B1A4. So be thankful.

We need to learn to differentiate life and entertainment. Real life is real life. You wake up; go to school, do homework, or go to work. And your oppas are entertainers. They work to entertain. They strive to make their fans happy. But that does not mean they have to keep themselves sacred just to save it for YOU! What? You think he’ll marry you one day? And so, what about the other 1000000 million fans out there? So please learn to differentiate these two. Real life | Entertainment.

Lastly, instead of all the negativity, let’s just enjoy this. It’s just a freaking teaser. Why get butthurt for measly teasers? Even I don’t know what's all this about. So let’s just enjoy it in the meantime and wait for 28^th May.

If you are a BANA and you are reading this, just remember, BANA is a sweet and kind fandom. Please be careful of what you say. Your words and action reflect the fandom & B1A4. Think people, think!

10 reasons why B1A4 should appear on Running Man

1. Jinyoung and Jeasuk can be skinny pants buddies.


2. CNU and Jihyo can be nap buddies.


3. Sandeul and Haha can reunite again.


4. Gongchan can teach Kwang soo how to be a chic maknae instead of getting bullied all the time.
(Extra: they can be model buddies)


5. Jinyoung can finally use an actual (water) gun instead of just using his fingers.




6. Hopefully Baro could outrun Jongkook and Jeasuk.


7. Because Sukjin wore B1A4's hatson hat on RM EP 159.


8. So Baro can sing (우리 지금 만나) Let's meet now with Gary.


9. Jinyoung and JongKook can have a singing battle.
Falsetto vs Mosquito

10. So there'll be more animals gathered in the Zoo

• Baro Squirrle
• CNU Bear
• Gary Monkey
• Gongchan Puppy
• HaHa penguin (Pororo)
• Ji Suk Jin Impala
• Jinyoung Fox
• Kim Jong Kook Tiger
• Lee Kwang Soo Giraffe
• Sandeul Duck
• Song Ji Hyo Cat
• Yoo Jae Suk Grasshopper