Yesterday was a beautiful day in Chicagoland. The weather was sunny, breezy, and just the right temperature for hanging out at the beach without frying to death. I cajoled my family into abandoning various video games and heading to the out-of-doors; this perfect weather won't last, and we'll miss it when it's gone.
We grabbed some food and strolled to the park for a picnic by the lake, followed by a romp in the sand at the beach. Why are there no pictures in this post, you ask? Because we forgot to bring the camera. And I spent much of the afternoon thinking to myself, "Damn. I can't believe we didn't bring the camera. This is such a beautiful, perfect outing. The girls are adorable. The weather is bright and sunny. How will I ever remember this day without pictures?"
My consternation was so extreme that it startled me. I actually caught myself thinking, "This is a wasted trip. Without pictures, this day will fade from our memory and cease to exist. We might as well have stayed inside playing video games all day."
At this point, I realized that my crazy thinking had gone too far. What about this moment, right now? What about enjoying each happy experience life hands us? Living in the now? Is life only about collecting memories in some concrete form to hoard and treasure years from now? What's so wrong with spending a few perfect hours with my family on the beach, whether or not it's a day we might all forget?
Do I really want to spend every day with my children photographing and documenting instead of participating and enjoying?
And with that, I put aside thoughts of the camera and focused instead on my consternation at how on earth I'm going to get all that sand out of the twins' shoes. (Which goes to show you that it might in fact be impossible for me to just relax and enjoy a perfect day. But at least I wasn't worrying about documenting it anymore.)
Even now, I'm having a hard time not regretting that there are no pictures, no solid evidence that such an outing took place. I suspect myself of writing this post only to create a record of the afternoon, in the absence of other documentation. This will most likely be an ongoing struggle for me -- appreciate this moment, enjoy this day, trust that living in the now will generate many happy memories that I'll cherish years from now, with or without photos to remind me.
8 comments:
I hate posing for pictures and always have. It interfers with getting out there and doing.
Don't get me wrong, I love the pictures you post, but the most important thing right now is that you enjoy the girls.
I read a great essay about this somewhere -- Newsweek maybe? -- and it's definitely given me the slap in the face I need to get better at just enjoying these precious moments while I can and stop trying to capture every fleeting second.
Thanks for reminding me as well!
I feel the same way. It is all about the balance for me, I take a few pictures, then enjoy the experience. (You know, because I'll be very forgetful in a week, sigh)
I felt the same way about Disney World. We didn't take any pics in the Magic Kingdom, but we had a wonderful day that I will never forget.
Wow! Those pictures you didn't take sure are cute!
You didn't really go to the beach, did you? :)
After my long day of watching the clock instead of watching my beautiful baby, I'm also happy that you reminded me to stay present.
This craving to stay present is so tough. And I don't even think about the camera and documenting so much as the stress of thinking of what I may need to do later, this I have to pay, that I have to return, etc., etc.
Not to make it sound like I'm not actively participating in the life around me I crave to remember, but it's just hard to shut down. My mind babbles as much as I do in psot replies!
Over the years I've realized that if I don't have pictures of something, my memory of it is much, much worse. And maybe that's okay! Maybe it's fine to just enjoy things at the time and not worry about remembering them years down the road. It's hard, though!
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