When I Grow Up

I love being a SAHM (despite the occasional moments of complete insanity). However, I've been thinking a great deal recently about the fact that a time will come when my little birdies fly off to kindergarten and I'll have huge chunks of time to fill.

Mind you, I have all sorts of ideas about how to spend that time. Reading science fiction, sleeping, getting regular mani/pedis, sleeping, watching trashy daytime TV, sleeping -- you get the idea.

By the time the girls hit second grade, I think I might be bored with this schedule. Maybe. I'm going to need something to fill my time, and it would be helpful if that something contributed to the family finances. So I've been going over all possible options for future paths/occupations that would make me a productive member of society rather than a total couch potato (with a fab manicure). What do I want to be when I grow up? The options:

Freelance editor. It's what I do now. I'm trained for it. It pays the bills. But I'm not exactly passionate about it.

Writer. I would really love to have written some fantastic, best-selling novel that people will still be talking about centuries after I'm gone. (Did you catch that? I want to have written it. I don't so much want to write it.)

Culinary/pastry school. I've long wanted to be a baker. However, I'm not so keen on early mornings.

Opera singer. I love to sing. I love opera. I love to be a diva. Why not combine those passions in a lucrative and glamorous career? However, opera divas have to stay up pretty late. Those Wagner operas are often five hours long! I can't stay up singing until midnight! I'll fall asleep on stage like Bryn Terfel.

Astronaut. What? Being an astronaut takes years of training, lots of specialized knowledge, advanced degrees in aerospace engineering, and bones that won't snap like twigs at 3 Gs? Whatever.

Professional reader of science fiction books. Sure, careers sort of like this exist. Editors of science fiction books, reviewers of science fiction books, agents for science fiction writers, etc. However, I don't really want to do anything other than read them. I don't want to write about them, or fix them, or even have a very clear memory of them once I'm done. I just want to read them.

Circus contortionist. Oh, I've got the ligaments, my friends. But I don't think I'm quite cut out for life on the road.

Professional sleep-study participant. YAWN. I think I could handle this one.

Somewhere in here are the seeds for my as-of-yet-undiscovered dream-come-true future job. Hmmm.

• Baker of space-ship-shaped cakes and breads?
• Singer of space operas?
• Writer of circus-themed cookbooks?
• Editor of over-long Wagner operas?

I think we might be on to something here.