Happy Halloween!

It Won't Get Any Better Than This

This is how Sophia, Evelyn, and I spent this afternoon, probably the last nice afternoon of the year.

First, a windy stroll at the beach.


The scenery:


I'd like to pretend this is a sweet picture of the girls holding hands, but I know Sophia was fast asleep and had no idea where her hand had randomly landed.

Next, a visit to Chipotle, my favorite lunch spot.

Even though the staff there loves to admire the Sophie and Evie, the girls were unmoved. Sophie didn't even bother to wake up.

Homeward bound:

Tomorrow promises to be cold and blustery. I fear winter will have us in its grip before long.

Ouch

While I'm sure Evelyn's recent surgery was more painful for her physically than it was for us financially (or emotionally), I'm still a little shocked by just how much of it our insurance company decided was our fair share. If this were an elective surgery, I can see them sticking us with a huge portion of the bill just to make us think twice about it. But expecting an average American family with one income and two kids to come up with $750 for a necessary, if minor, surgery -- that seems just a touch unreasonable to me. Hell, I could have spent that money at Sears.

I've been railing against the insurance company lately, but I need to remind myself of this recent bill, also shocking: The twins' last routine visit to the pediatrician (just a standard check-up with a few vaccine shots) ran a whopping $800. Our share of that: $40. And, to be fair, they did pay 99.76% of the twins' $500,000 NICU stay. So maybe I should shut my pie-hole.

Why on earth does it cost $400 per kid for a routine check-up? What do families without insurance do? Why can't this country get it together and create an affordable national health-care system?

For centuries, people got by with leeches and trips to the seaside to keep their humours in balance. High percentages of them survived. Maybe we should just give that a try. Next time I have a headache, I'm reaching for the laudanum.

(Thanks for all your good thoughts for us regarding Evelyn's surgery! It was quite minor and, despite my consuming fears, it was as quick and easy as a surgery could be. She's recovering quite nicely and should be completely back to normal in time for Halloween.)

Mall-Walking (a.k.a. Shopping)

The girls and I went mall-walking with Kerri and Libby yesterday. Good times, good times. Evelyn is a little bit obsessed with Libby, so we had to keep an eye on her -- I think she'd kidnap Libby given half the chance. (Sophia is far more interested in puppies.)

Shopping -- that's exactly what I need to be doing while our checking account is in disarray, right? Despite that, I picked up this shirt while we were out:
You can't really tell from that picture that it's covered with sparkly bits, so here's a close-up:
I think this is the first time in my life I've ever owned a piece of clothing that sparkles. I'm pretty sure I'll look like a harlot in it. Next thing you know, I'll be wearing lipstick! The horror!

While I'm blathering, I'll take this opportunity to mention that Evelyn is scheduled for some minor surgery tomorrow morning. I'm pretty freaked out about it, even though there's little risk of something going wrong. I just keep thinking about that poor girl who died in the dentist's chair last month. What did that quack do wrong? How can I be sure that won't happen to Evelyn?? I'm trying to be calm. Think good thoughts for us, would you?

More Money for Nothing

I think it's perfectly reasonable of me to be a little bit frustrated with my bank right now. It could be worse -- they could refuse to believe me when I say I didn't spend $732.63 at Sears on Monday. They could tell me to suck it and deal with the charges on my own. They're not doing that. So I should be grateful, right?

Now that the charges have cleared and have been deducted from my checking account, I have to jump through the bank's hoops and do a little song and dance for them, and it will still take them 24 to 48 hours to refund my money and remove the overdraft charges. I can understand that the bank needs to protect itself. If it were easy to get the bank to give you refunds every time you say a charge is fraudulent, people would be going out and buying huge plasma TVs and calling the bank the next day to say they've never stepped foot in an electronics store in their life.

But I've had more than $700 missing from my account since Monday, and it's still going to take another day or two to get it back -- maybe the bank has lots of customers for whom that's no big deal, but I'm not one of them!

I seem to remember seeing ads for a bank that refunds your money immediately if your card number has been violated. I need to find out which bank that was. Anyone know?

Money for Nothing

Oh. My. God. My debit card has been compromised. I logged in to check my online bank statement today and found that someone has been making unauthorized charges at Sears and Marathon. Large unauthorized charges.

Panic sets in.

So I do the first thing you do in such a situation -- I call the bank. Sensible, no? And I tell the friendly and helpful operator about the situation. Three charges. One of them quite large. I made none of them. Please, please, get rid of them!

So Friendly, Helpful Operator tells me, "Hmm. These charges are still pending. They haven't cleared yet. I'm afraid we can't do anything about this until the charges clear." Um, what? When these charges clear, my checking account will go into the red and my overdraft protection and its associated fees will kick in, which will make the problem even bigger. Right? So don't we want to prevent that? Nip this problem in the bud? Am I missing something?

Maybe I'm stupid. I don't understand why I have to spend the next few days with no money, waiting for the charges to clear, before the bank will do anything about it. And on top of that, I have to wait five to seven days for my new debit card, so even if I had money to spend, I can't spend it.

I'm not blaming the bank, mind you. I'm blaming the jerks who got their hands on my debit card number and caused this problem. Possible suspects:

1) My brother David. Sears has lots of tools, and David loves tools. I can see him spending $700 on a new Craftsman set. However, I don't think he was in Ohio fueling up his car yesterday.

2) Airan. Perhaps he stole my card, went to Sears, bought me a fabulous present (that we can't afford), and slipped the card back in my wallet with me none the wiser. Now he refuses to confess because he doesn't want to explain what he was doing at a Marathon in Ohio yesterday.

3) Me. I was sleepwalking and decided I needed to a) buy a new washing machine and b) see the Midwest.

Further investigation is necessary. I'll keep you posted.

Cheese, Glorious Cheese

The choir in which I sing had an open rehearsal tonight -- anyone was welcome to sit in and listen to our preparations for the swiftly approaching concert series next month. After rehearsal, the choir hosted a wine-and-cheese reception for our visitors. Luckily for us choristers, none of our guests stayed until the end of the rehearsal, so the wine and cheese, etc., were all ours.

So I'm stuffing my face with some fantastic cheese because, like usual, I didn't have time to eat dinner before rehearsal. And a fellow singer, also enjoying the fromage, says "Cheese is great for when you need to gain weight quickly."

And I'm thinking to myself, "Funny, I don't have a problem with that. It comes to me naturally."

Finally, I'm getting the fashion help I've needed all these years.

Check out the latest post over at Friday Playdate, in which Susan is kind enough to tackle my fashion woes. (So many fashion woes, so little time -- be sure to check out the rest of Susan's Fashion Friday posts while you're there.)

If this is a 12-step program, I think I'm on step 2

Today, I stopped by the vet's office for the first time since June 24. As I was driving there, I realized that it would in fact be my first time back, so of course I spent the rest of the drive thinking about it. And when I got there, I stood at the counter with Pepper's pee sample in my hands and tears in my eyes, feeling both silly and wretched, dying to get out as fast as possible, preferably before the waterworks started. I guess I'm constantly surprised that the wound is still so raw. I avoid talking about it and thinking about it. I prefer not to use or hear his name. But, every now and then, I'm confronted with something that I can't ignore or shove away -- a picture, his quilt, an unmistakably Puckish hair on the couch or in my cereal -- and I find myself overcome all over again.

A Few Quick Notes

(Mostly TV-related, since watching television doesn't hurt.)

1) Sayid on Lost = so hot.

2) Tonight's Colbert Report = hilarious. If you didn't see it, catch one of the seventeen reruns tomorrow.

3) It's supposed to snow in Chicago tomorrow. I used to look forward to every snowfall because of the possibility that it might net me a snow day. I don't get snow days anymore (or sick days, for that matter), so I'm considering tomorrow's possible inclement weather with some trepidation.

4) If anyone has advice concerning collecting a urine sample from a dog with the least possible spillage and mess, please -- for the love of all that's good and pure -- share.

It Shouldn't Hurt to Blog

Tendonitis? Carpal tunnel syndrome? I don't know what it is, but whatever it is, it has my left hand and arm in a grip of fiery pain. And since I need to be using the little bit of typing I can do for activities that make me money (hello, big pile of freelance work!), I might not be blogging or commenting much until I have this sorted out. Forgive me! If you have any advice about setting up an ergonomic workstation, please send it my way.

Seriously, what's with those funny hats?

Tomorrow morning, we'll take Sophia and Evelyn for their twice-a-year check-up at the Shriners Hospital's osteogenesis imperfecta clinic. I don't mind telling you that this impending appointment causes me no small amount of anxiety.

What will the doctors find wrong this time? What is it that's been lurking undetected lo these many months? Fractures we never suspected? Dangerously bowed limbs? Limb length discrepancies? Other ailments my hypochondriac mind hasn't even dreamed up yet? Here we've been thinking they're fine, no OI-related problems -- things are tripping along nicely, thank you very much (as long as no one actually trips).

But since our last visit in April, both girls started crawling, then pulling up to stand, then cruising. Sophia had a bit of a fall. Both girls have bonked their heads and behinds countless times in the process of learning to stand. What damage has been done?

At our first Shriners Hospital visit, we didn't have this fear. We waltzed in with our miracle babies who survived a 10-week NICU stay and who, by golly, wouldn't be held down by this blasted OI. They're made of steel, I tell you! So we were not at all prepared to learn that, somehow, without us even suspecting it, both girls had broken several ribs. How does that happen? How does a baby who can't even roll over yet, whose parents have been trained to be so cautious they never pick her up by the midsection, how does this baby break -- not one -- but several ribs? And -- not one -- but two babies did it! How?

So, let me tell you, we lived with fear after that appointment. Every time we picked them up, we worried that we were breaking a bone. Every time they cried for no reason we could discern, we were sure they'd broken something. It was constantly in our thoughts. What's broken this time?

Turns out, nothing (as far as we know). Nothing has broken (as far as we know) since those ribs nearly a year ago. The girls sailed through their second Shriners Hospital visit six months ago with barely a comment from the doctors. They have survived all of the normal learning-to-be-a-toddler stages with no damage (as far as we know).

And yet, the fear is here to stay.

So, we'll find out tomorrow if the (as far as we know) becomes an (I can tell you for sure). We'll see if we can start the next six-month cycle with a cautious optimism instead of a petrified terror and guilt about a) having allowed them to break bones and b) not even knowing it, that's what bad parents we are.

Wish us luck.

Laura Roslin for President

While I'm on this TV kick, why not out myself for the total geek I am? Who else watched the series premier of Battlestar Galactica last night? (I'm guessing not one of you, with the possible exception of my mom.)

It was so great! More of the BSG we've come to know and love. So tense! Depressing! Timely! A little violent, let's be honest. I'm going to just come out and say it, and you can all mock me if you so choose: Battlestar Galactica is the best drama on television.

I'm Totally Lost

So who saw Lost last night? Take the title of this post seriously -- I have no idea what's going on on that island. I'm so confused! Can someone explain it to me? I kept thinking I was missing really important, revealing clues that would explain crucial aspects of the story to me, but they were all just flying right over my head as I stared blankly at the screen saying, "What? What's going on? I don't understand!"

And still, I love that show.

I Have a Green Thumb for Couch Potatoes

My new favorite channel: Sprout.

What can I say? The girls are sick. (And today we find out they have asthma to boot. Fantastic.) Everyone is grumpy and tired and needs a distraction. Who better than Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, La-La, and Po?

I know there are plenty of critics, but I say "Hooray!" for 24-hour toddler-oriented programming.

Welcome, Libby!

For those of you who have been following Kerri's extended pregnancy, good news! Elizabeth ("Libby") was finally born yesterday afternoon, only 9 days overdue and after nearly a day of labor. Congratulations, Kerri and Martin!

Why I'm Considering Homeschooling

What is wrong with this country?

Truck driver kills three girls in Amish school shooting

Principal killed at Wisconsin school; 9th-grader charged

Sheriff: School shooter sent letter to say sorry

Gunman spotted, 2 Vegas schools locked down

Federal funds to prevent school violence dropping

From that last article:

"From 1992 to 2002, 261 people ages 5 to 19 were killed at school, according to federal statistics. The worst years -- 1992-93 and 1997-98 -- saw 34 deaths, and the lowest total was 12, in 2000-01."

Kelly, the Amazing Relationship Counselor

I'm a big fan of The Amazing Race. It's one of the few reality shows I really get interested in. (That and the cooking shows -- when does Top Chef season 2 start??)

I'm fascinated by the Race because it showcases the world and because it brings home the fact that so many of my countrymen and -women fall into the Ugly American stereotype. Few are the contestants who really seem to appreciate the sights they're seeing and the cultures they get to experience. Too many are those who seem to view the world with a sense of superiority and condescension.

That, however, is not the aspect of the Race we'll be discussing today. Rather, our topic of conversation is this: Why is it that at least one team on every season is a couple who's using the Race to try to work out whether they really belong together? This season, it's Rob and Kimberly. Here's what the official Amazing Race site has to say about them:

"Rob & Kimberly met while bartending in Los Angeles, California. The young couple has been dating for two years and recently moved in together. Their primary reason for running the Race is to see if their relationship can withstand the intensity and pressure of traveling around the world at such a frantic pace."

The show is constantly showing clips of Rob and Kimberly saying things like, "We're at that point in our relationship when we need to decide whether to get married or go our separate ways."

What?? I'm sorry, but I don't think any healthy relationship ever reaches that point. You're happy together, or you're not. If you both want to get married, great! If not, that's okay too. If one does and the other doesn't, well, you have some issues to work out. But don't just say to yourselves that you've been together for X years, and that's the time when you're supposed to get married, so you'd better fish or cut bait.

These couples are letting society's expectations (or, rather, their perceptions of society's expectations) dictate for them the path of their relationship. It's not about whether they're happy with each other and their relationship -- it's about whether they're supposed to be happy. And whether they're supposed to be happier if they get married.

What an incredibly bad reason to get married.

Now, I don't pretend to be a relationship expert. (Well, sometimes I do.) I do have a marriage that I think everyone should envy, but every relationship is different and needs to be dealt with on its own terms. Perhaps it's conceivable that there are couples out there for whom this kind of thinking works -- maybe it really does make them happy to do what they think society wants them to do. (It's also possible, just maybe, that we don't see the whole story with these couples, but rather just the snippets of interviews CBS thinks will make for good TV. So it isn't really fair to judge them, is it? But I do anyway.)

Get married if you want to. Don't if you don't want to. If you're not sure, work it out. Talk about it. But don't take your relationship on national television and air your differences and fears and grievances there. If you feel like your relationship needs to pass some sort of test to prove it works, maybe you've already failed the test.