Last Kiss, Sung by Taylor Swift

I still remember the look on your face

Lit through the darkness at 1:58

The words that you whispered for just us to know

You told me you loved me so why did you go... away.

I do recall now the smell of the rain,

Fresh on the pavement,

I ran off the plane,

That July night, the beat of your heart,

It jumps through your shirt I can still feel your arms.

But now I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes,

All that I know is I don't know,

How to be something you miss.

Never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name forever the name on my lips

I do remember the swing of your step

The life of the party you're showing off again

And I roll my eyes and then you pulled me in.

I'm not much for dancing,

But for you I did because

I loved your handshake meeting my father

I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets

How you'd kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something.

There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions and

I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes,

All that I know is I don't know, how to be something you miss.

Never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name forever the name on my lips

Ohh

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep and

I'll feel you forget me like I use to feel you breathe and

I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are.

Hope it's nice where you are and

I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day and

Something reminds you,

You wish you had stayed we can plan for a change in weather and time,

I never planned on you changing your mind.

So,

I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes,

All that I know is I don't know, how to be something you miss.

Never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name forever the name on my lips,

Just like our last kiss,

Forever the name on my lips,

Forever the name on my lips.

Just like our last

--

-----

---------

Jiwang kejap.

Commitment

 

 sigh.

Result is out.

Still, not doing well.

Lack of commitment ?

Lack of Strives ?

Hurm.

---

-------

Too much playing ?

too much entertaining myself ?

---

--------

As my mentor said,

"You already know the answers, but you just don't answer the question direct to the point. The answer is there. Try to compliance your answers. Add more fact to support your answers so that the examiners should understand what your writing all about.

Yeah, I will try to do better next time.

He did asks me to buy some books. books that would help.

Hopefully it will.

And he said some more,

Please do mind about the small fact. That tiny little fact would actually help you to gain marks.

Squeeze all the knowledge out.

I think you can do this.

As for MCQ, it really test how widen your knowledge in medical subject.

Yeah for sure you already revised your note, but actually all of the question arise from the book that they (lecturers) suggested.

Hopefully I will have the guts to start anew.

Quite devastating when you actually think that you can perform better, and the end, it is just still the same.

Okay.

It is time to change, I guess.

My experiment on how to study for last exam is actually quite working for me.

Maybe I should stick with that.

Scanning all the notes.

Sketched out all the important data, then adding more data from books to support.

Start with the Data Interpretation.

It is important to draw and label your diagram for anatomy.

After drawing, start using the diagram to develop your essay.

from your essay, you actually can use it as material to be studied for MCQ.

and don't forget about the small things.

but to that kind of method, I really need lots of time ! sketching diagram, developing essay. And don't spot the questions.

That actually work for me.

It is most likely when i do case investigating for my diploma.

How can i forgot how i studied.

thank god for keeping me on my path.

Hopefully thing will start to change now.

But to change, I just can't change alone. It might not be fair for others.

Well hopefully, if any of you guys willing to go along with me. I`ll be glad.

And the wrong about me is, I tend to mixed everything up.

I might get confuse will all the data.

I need someone to straighten me up, just like those heavenly college day.

I might look convincing about my answers, but please correct me if I am wrong!

This is my last chance.

If I ever screwed it up, dreams will definitely become dreams.

As for you guys, please don't stop trying !

I know you guys can make it!

We just has to push more harder and stronger!

Let Do this!

Down to Zero.

argh.

My emo meter just went down to zero. might turn to negative if i cant get myself to diverged it to somewhere else.

---

-------

I just cant stop thinking about that matters.

Maybe if I were left alone and not knowing, it would be better.

Feels like I'm about to lose, yes. Lose everything.

Feel like there is distance or maybe wall or boundaries exist.

Maybe it would better for them if things turn that way.

and I am glad that it goes that way.

Yes, i would love to accept them back.

but its over.

Yeah.

I kinda pissed off.

When I heard about that.

Yet.

Maybe the person is busy with life around.

I rest my case.

I will just ignore everything and try to accept it as it should be.

Yeah.

---

------

I am not a good friend.

I dont talk much.

I dont do much.

I am just ignorant.

and I am cold.

 I already lost my smile years(s) ago.

I think it is okay for me to lost my emotion also.

maybe it is time for me to become cold-hearted, again.

Sigh.

what am i thinking.

Never thought of blogging would relief my unstable mind, right now.

I should just go and find myself a Lass.

The coin might flip it sides.

Anyone interested ?

hahaha.

If life would be that easy.

Not in the mood to do anything.

Not in the mood to do revision on my notes.

Not in the mood to talk.

All i can think is to draw.

Draw anything that I can draw with this mechanical pencil and A4 paper.

Even though my drawing sucks, i don't care.

Becoming too much of listener really make me less more to expressed.

Maybe I should expressed more and at the same time balance as listener.

Yup. I guess I need to train my self to be expressive.

Be mad if I am mad.

Be angry when someone stab you at the back.

Scream at someone when they screwed up you stuff.

Yelled to someone that is totally on your way.

Speak direct when you dislike that ignorance.

Punched back is someone gossiping you from behind.

Slap someone if they speak too loud and pissed you off.

I would love to be that kinda person.

mean.

nasty.

Never thinks about others feel.

Or maybe i can be as one of those contractors in Darker Than Black ?

Lost of heart, being emotionless.

argh. too much manga i guess.

but it was quite a nice manga to read.

okay snapped out of it.

back to reality.

All I can think is this upcoming Christmas holiday.

Maybe i might get myself back home.

----

--------

Another Day.

yikes.

I am still in the holiday mood.

supposedly study today, and yeah, i fall asleep in the library. hope that i don't snores. hehehe.

As for practical session today, the class like just 30 minute and then grabs my things and go back to my room and sleep again.

why am I gettin' lazier ?.

not enough holiday i guess.

Woke myself up around 4.45PM.

and i saw this gigantic puffy woolly clouds above our beloved hostel.

and yeah.

It kinda nice.

based by judging the size of the clouds, it is sure going to HEAVILY rain tomorrow.

(I haven't done my laundry yet! No!)

puffy woolly clouds :)

Yes. I've been skipping all the things that i should have done on the 1st day i came back here.

I was not in the mood. argh.

I better go now.

Hoping that everything will flip 180.

thanks.

=)

List Updated Again!

Fuhh!

never in my life going to the same shopping mall continuously day and after!

Just to search and buy my shoe and jacket.
yeah. i am kinda picky!

HELL YEAH!! Found some good items!! Woooooohuu !! BOooooooYaa !

Okay.

Item number three is my shoe!

I was looking for low budget kinda shoe because i wanna buy some fancy jacket. But the jacket is out of stock !!! so i have to choose other jacket that is quite practical for me there.

soo .. bought my self a nice brown colored sneakers. simple yet loving it!

item number four is my jacket!

finally! and hopeful the jacket that i bought is waterproof, atleast.

Raining season here and there.

Best buy for today i guess.

All in great discount. hell yeah. =)

And yeah.

not to forget.

some great memory i had just tonight. hehehehe.

after the incident,

went to William to have big supper.

We order Gaudar Cheese Naan + Chicken with Mascarpone Sauce + Asam Prawn & Sotong.

For drinks, as usual, me like Cocoa Mocha. The others just order Fizzy Gingy. taste absolutely nice!

Dang it was good and delicious!

Tomorrow.

The Tormented Day.

Going to the gym. argh. I just wanna learn some basic workout so that i wont slack off there.

But ... I know her.

She gonna ripped me apart!

Slaughter me like a ***  !!

arghhhhhhhh!

It is for my own good. she might say.

Kay.

I better off to bed now.

if not i aint gonna wake up early for the tormented day.

yikes!

gudday!

*no photo today. Quite lazy and tired with all the driving + repairing + supper -ing

=)

List Updated! =)

haah!

Tired! Just by walking 4 hours in the mall really make me tired!

I dunno how the hell woman can walk like forever doing their window shopping without rest ?!

kay.

so far, i already bought 2 things.

1. Jane Eyre =)

I was so disappointed with MPH. The is no more copy of this book. Is it just depleted or it has been stop publishing. So i went to Borders. n Yes! Finally! found a copy. but i couldn't find the right cover for the right mood. I was hoping to get fancy book cover but the hell just take one and pay.

2. Get me self a bottle of perfume.

Yes! its holiday season! perfume in bargain ! .. well i already tried perfume from body shop, so i wanna stick to one brand. Since i got a very bad flu just after karaoke-ing like hell singing and rapping and screaming singing MCR and sort, I couldn't have a sniff of the perfume. and thank god friends of mine willing to come with me. hehehe. Dia la yang keep on sniff all the perfume. dia cakap the White Musk Sport smell better and good. so i just follow dia ponya hunch so bought it along with the body and hair wash. Hell yeah i am going to smell good there. hahahaha.

so.

the list is still not yet complete.

gotta go get this leg moving!!.

Before we ended our night. We actually thought of going to german deli.

and DAMN! at the prick of 10.10 PM .. the deli is closed! noo!

so that mean i gotta go tomorrow!

yeah!

more things to do! wuuuuuuuuuhuu!

My Jane Eyre!!

 

The Perfume. Smell nice. =)

To do list, holiday extravaganza!

okay.

I've been all excited since yesterday.

always and yes! i am saying always! create my own to do list if i'm on holiday!

so for this time being, less about food but more about stuff to be bought! =)

To do list :

1. look for Jane Eyre. =) (looking forward to read this book!)

2. Get me self a nice jacket for this cold winter (ehem) days.

3. Need perfume! Okay i admitted! someone has to smell good here! hahaha. perfume is much cheaper during Christmas holiday season aite ?

4. Get me self new pair of sneakers! 

5. Maybe new huge bag to fits my gigantic laptop and notes.

6. DONT cut my hair again. =)

7. Ask some friends to do training here and there. i think its the time. =)

8. go wild!

9. Go fulfill my gustatory needs.

10. going on date(s) maybe. hahahaha. (like always. go out with someone else gf! haha)

11. Go get creative!! times to charged up those creativity!! 

12. Time to appreciate Kuala Lumpur. hahaha =)

well. there it goes.

to all friends. do have a great holiday week!

go wild!

go insane!

go bold!

go make your self distress!

forgot all these medical stuff! 

but surely. do your revision. =)

Get Creative.

well.

tomorrow is the last paper for our beloved medic examination.

yeah!

hahaha. bummer. feel so gonna fail the exam.

back to what is in my thoughts.

well. i come across this artist (by mean in artistic work not in acting).

surfing minispace.com and I saw this very interesting artist, Stephanie Diamond.

I kinda like her work.

Most of her photo tells story.

simple, subjective photos.

Yeah most probably people might say, 

"Even i can take photo like that! .."

well. yeah. yes you can.

But can you told stories beyond your photo?

does you photo really going to sparks viewer neuron to interpret the photo ?

well mind in that.

everything is subjective. it is all depend on what your brain thinks and interpret.

that reminds me. I wanna do some artsy project here.

but my concern is do people around here will accept on what am i going to propose ?

well i am not that social to begin with.

hahahaha.

well. i tried.

i just cant get my self to socialized. 

just bunch of people that really understand me here.

thank you for being concern and understanding. =)

yeah. i might skipped the project. 

Okay. back to Stephanie Diamond.

if you like to view her artwork, just google her name.

You will come across her portfolio on top hit of the search.

And yeah.

I will try to get my self motivated with this upcoming holiday.

its been awhile now since I hold on to my camera.

Hopefully I don't loose the beat yet.

Definitely Maybe.

okay.

today i decided to watch some movie.

ask friends to copy it out for me.

and this movie just a bunch of it that can be copied into my HDD.

okay. its a chic flick.

The story was good.

It was film on 2008.

---

------

A really closely related to what had happen before.

but this guy.He have his happy ending at the end of the show.

---

-------

And yeah.

April, she is just my type.

=).

outspoken. love to laugh. adventurous. open minded. know how to make someone feels better.

yeah.

favorite quotes would be,

"I meant it to give it to you.. .. I wanted to give it to you,  "

"I just that ... "

"I couldn't ..."

"And I don't know why ... "

"I dropped it off once. I mean, I tried."

"But someone was there and a ... "

 "Hey, there is no excuse, and I'm sorry .. "

It's inexcusable

I am so sorry.

Well! there goes another story! 

tons more to go!

I like you April !

=)

and owh!.
Rachel Weisz is HOT!
Really hot journalist! =)

aaaarrrrrrrrrrrrghh!

there is nothing much i can do here to RELEASE

my INNER

RAMPAGING

BOILING

STRANGLING

HEAD SHOT SPLATTER USING SHOTGUN SHOOTING

KNIFE STABBING

SLICING

and unstable stress!

i CANT focus!

CANT make myself  concentrate!

CANT myself stay calm!

screw for now that law of attraction! yes i am attracting negative thoughts right now!!! 

i need to do something that is out of this effing ROUTINE!

ERGhhhhhhhh!

these negative feeling inside of me. How am i going to let it out ?

---

---------

text some of my friends. and thank god "some of them replied back".

yeah.

all i need is someone else to talk with.

either than unable to do nothing here.

---

--------

back home i used to make myself a whole set of cuisine!

just for me!

--

-----

yeah ! i admitted it!

either than go running wild with the wind like freaking horse!

playing ping pong,

singing out of tune,

make fun of other people,

and more.

i like to cook for myself!

even though it doesn't taste nice. i like it that way! cuz im the one who doing the cooking! not you!

i am more prone into making something out of the oven.

---

------

all the appetizers,

all the salty croissant with tuna + salad + lots of cheese, 

the thin slice baguette serve with slice tomato + chicken with simple tartar dressing, 

all the main dishes,

baked potato with freaking crunchy Parmesan chicken cutlet with rosemary lemon dressing and brown gravy,

baked mac and cheese,

all those sweet and spicy paprika sauce pasta with tuna chunk,

baked sweet hot black paper chicken wing,

all the desert,

all the cakes that i baked,

all the pudding that i made,

all the cookies that i baked,

all the sweet tasty chocolate brownies with ice cream moisten with Hersey's Chocolate Syrup,

all the baked cheese cake.

yeah. i miss all those things!.

and i could not find it here!

i could not make it here!.

all that freaking ignorance that i can think of is making instant noodle with freaking water kettle! water kettle!!!!!!

FREAKING water kettle!

i was soo excited when i come across this huge complete kitchen which is at the nutritionist block!

they ACTUALLY have real KITCHEN! REAL INGREDIENT!!

but the problem is !

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO USE THE KITCHEN UNLESS WITH PROPER ADMINISTRATION AND GOOD REASONING! and yeah APPROVED BY THE HIGHEST POSITION!

if ya gonna block it to the public, ya better block EVERYTHING around here! including the toilet!

so people doesn't make shits bout it anymore. got it ?

im making lil problems look bigga now.

u really dont wanna mess with me right now.

i am effing wanna have a punching bag in my room.

flesh meat punching bag.

period.

some girls think that guy barely cook is hot. well thanks my lady. ya on top my list!.

beside doing all those routinely things. why dont we try to do something different aite. ?

as for tomorrow. i MIGHT doing something out of me.

so better be prepare.

i might get haywire.

the rampaging doesn't stop here!

(well atleast tiny fraction of it has been released)

lifeless dead like zombies!

what am i thinking.

even though my inner self is fully recovered,

my outer shell is not.

--

------

i am definitely look like effing zombie!

(aahh ..reminds me bout the sweet tingling black PS2 joystick at home =) )

well i am getting better. just my outer sight is not that pink yet.

well, it getting annoyed when someone bumped into you and just keep on saying,

people : hey! ryuu! u really dont look good! how many hours did u sleep last nite?study much ?

Ryuu : hell yeah. i study with eye shut and with my nose running with mucous.

its not that im "always" that sick aite?

people can differentiate me when im sick/ overly studied/ and when im normal.

aite ?

nonetheless, i am going to library now. hoping to unclogged this mucous with cold temperature.

ttyl.

2 day rest, 7 day to go!

dang!

how can i get infected when time crisis like this just around the corner! s*^*!

fyi, this is the 2nd fever i had since i came here. (within 5 month).

---

-------

I hated it when i get caught with fever!

the symptom is aint like others.

they dont suffer back pain,

they dont have any pain around their gums,

they dont have difficulty to move around,

i cant even open my eye with those pulsing-throbbing headache!.

--

-----

but then, i managed to recover myself on the 3rd day of infections! (with some loss sign of balance and hangover of antibiotic!)

i get all sweaty just by walking down to the foyer. sigh i need to exercise more!

(looking forward for the gym after this due to the inconvenient facilities around here)

(shut up! i know u are laughing right now! yes you ! i know u!! u gonna get smacked later on during lecture!) 

--

------

and not to forget to my friends !!! thanks sooo much!! for your concerns! (^_^)

the tomato soup was delicious! if only i can make myself useful n go buy loaf of bread to eat with the soup!

thanks again! and yeah the big apple also! it took me like for god sake! 5 hours to finish just 3 ring of donuts!

it require a lot of energy to handle the mandible (get it? hahaha) .. there goes another lame joke regarding with medicine. hahaha ..

and for the delivery guy !! ahahahaha .. thanks !! at that time i was committed to go downs stair so that i can sweat myself more faster but due to the long wait, my back ache once again and under my own subconsciousness (a.k.a long sleep), u guys already knocking at my door! hahaha.. sorry bout that!

what eva it is! thanks soo much!

later when you guys coming down to KL, (by mean this coming holiday aite?) (^_^)

let me treat you with foods to be indulged together!

no worries bout transportation, my car (my mom's car) can fit 8 person!

hahaha =)

thanks!

good nite! need to get some rest for early morning lectures tomorrow! nite!

Hearing : Anatomy + Vestibulocochlear Nerve + Physiology of Ear + Mechanism of Sound.

For god sake!

All the crap that i know ear is used for listening and music! hahaha.

----

-------

spend bout day and a half just to decipher the lecture note into something that can be understandable!

dang! 

well hopefully i can get through all the notes (like bundle of dozens of it!!)

If you guys want to learn more bout sound transduction on how does the process happen and sort, feel free to ready anatomy textbook + physiology + neuroanatomy!

use my library photocopy card as ruler! hahaha

who says medicine doesn't involved drawing and arts!

have a great lunch! =)

I Should Have Never Thought

I caught Myself, sung by Paramore

I dont effing care what you going to say bout me ! never watch movie related to twilight or what the other title is. But the song, i am getting addicted to this song ! daymn! ... never thought of making it as my top 50 mp3 song list ! but it so addicted! I'm turning myself into adrenaline junkie ! walking alone at night with my eyes close, cycling as fast as i could and more !. wind gave the satisfy i need to survive here!.

Down to you
You're pushing and pulling me
Down to you
But I don't know what I

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that
I should have never thought

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that
I should have never thought

Of you, of you
You're pushing and pulling me
Down to you
But I don't know what I want
No, I don't know what I want

You got it, You got it
Some kind of magic
Hypnotic, Hypnotic
You're leaving me breathless
I hate this, I hate this
You're not the one I believe in
When God is my witness

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that
I should have never thought

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that
I should have never thought

Of you, of you
You're pushing and pulling me
Down to you
But I don't know what I want
No, I don't know what I want

Don't know what I want
But I know it's not you
Keep pushing and pulling me down
When I know in my heart it's not you

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that
I should have never thought

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that
I should have never thought

Of you, I knew
I know in my heart it's not you
I knew
But now I know what I want
I want
I want
Oh no, I should have never thought

2.34 AM

Background music : I Never Told You sung by Colbie Caillat

I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep

Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

I see your blue eyes
Everytime I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I'm not around you
It's like I'm alone with me

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

Paramore is coming to town!

daymnnnnnnnnnn ! never been so excited !!! hell yeahh !! ... it going to be a very good time + head banging + shouting + jumping + photography -ing !!! woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot !!! ... Exxxxxxxxciting !

---------

-------------------

-----------------------------

but then .... here comes the worries.

--------

------------------

--------------------------

central nervous system !! cranial nerves I- XII !?! am i going to skip all the classes just for paramore ?! i might have to think back. sigh.

Monday just around the block and i have to go and be consulted with my academic adviser regarding previous examination. and i can catch a glimpse on what i will get. double bummer.

so ... i am just following what my instinct says. Just go get your head banged. 

period.

damn! paramore !! u rock ! all the seduction!

Hayley !!!

2.43 AM

wooooooooooh ! Its been too effing some times since me updated me blog ! ... muahahhaa ... well cant find the right time and the right mood to do it so ! lemme just summarize on what just happened to me these past weeks.


Week 1
Had my exam right afta raya. AND yes! it was like daymn heretic !! I cant managed myself to study due to some technical problem(s). I am still not able to comfort me self here. Surviving the needs of merit in order to stay in the hostel really get the nerves from me! hell yeah ! it is not enough for us to cranked our head to study and now we have to fight for merit (work like an asshole in sort of activities and organization .. blahhh. . bllahh ..). I really didn't get it. What are they looking forward to ? better graduate or better name ? or maybe better in every way ??. And yeah. I didn't do great in my exam and i am looking forward for not so good result. Finger cross!

Week 2
there is nothing much happens. but few of memorable incident happened with my friends. All over the place!! hehehehe .. so far ... we collected 5 Most Embarrassing Moment for our group. hahahha.

Week 3
During my working hour, I used to have my "sanctuary" places all over the campus. And now I am looking forward for  my "sanctuary" in usmkk. So far I already spotted 4 places preferable to be my sanctuary! yeah !

1. Discussion Room, Library (yeah silence and away from society! i like!)
2. Anatomy Museum (there is no quite place when you sits around cadaver! =P)
3. PPSG 3rd Floor (hahaha .. i know PPSG is not medical student faculty, but why not! they have the location! =P)
4. Psychiatric Ward, Floor 5 HUSM (never thought of it as my place to lepaking. but it is kinda quite and tranquil with the breeze and quietness.) 

The list wont stop here !!! I will keep on looking for more places ! yossh !
p/s : to all usmkkians, if you are looking for me, please DO find me within these four location mentioned.

And fyi, i am still trying to handle my cravenness over foods back in selangor. thank to SOME friends! (thanks guys !) ... who is kept updating foods and foods and foods allover facebook and making me crave more! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! cant wait for semester break (If i have any .. heh. I beg to differ!) ...  u just wait!

Lastly, there is nothing much that i can relate myself to. i guess that is it for now. thanks for dropping by.

Have a great breakfast!

Memories to be remembered.

Background music : Home, sung by Micheal Buble

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home 

hahaha ... tetiba miss all my friends kat selangor .. haiishh ... (^_^) ... 

kepada ezza .... xsabar nak dgr ko bebel ... ahhahaa ...

team badminton ... kamis raya ke tujuh jom raya kat chelenger ! ahaha :D
c-da, nurul, robie, elul, icha ngan lisa ... raya ke-2 like always mari kita karaoke pakai baju raya ! hahaha :D

Gettin' Prepared!

yeah !! (betulkh expression aku ? am i suppose to be happy or stressed out ? hahaha ^__^) here comes new lectures block !! Musculoskeletal !

Cell & Tissue Block pon belum sempat nak abis go through dah masuk block baru ... mampos ar mcm ni ...

Agak lama gak kelas musculo ni .. 4 minggu .. tapi yang bestnya ... satu muka surat dalam schedule tu .. one whole week cuti raya !! yeaaaaaaaaah! so basically, only 3 weeks time je block ni ! hahaha!!

now the subject gettin' more serious and serious ! dah nak masuk part gross anatomy where all the challenge begins ! i need to get my brain worked out now !! if i want to memorize all the functional details of human body !  

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Woke up this morning around 4.00 am ... tapi still sleepy ... then sambung blek tido .. haahaha .. bangun balek jam 5am .. ahhaah ... makan for sahur n then ingt nk sambung balek baca nota !! tapi .... nmpk laptop .. men facebook plak ..ahhaha .. byk betul dugaan ! haissh !

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When will my body to start function properly ni!! (-__-ii).... hopeful jangan la dah nak dekat exam baru nak jadi orang gile baca nota ... hahaha.. nevertheless!! dont give up !! yooooooooosh !

day.dream

background music : Corinne Bailey Rae, Day Dreaming.

Finally ! gaps between two classes !! Ohhh god thank you so much ! I really need some time break !! I woke up tardily late this morning !! around 8.10 in the morning, my classes start at 8.30 am. Darn it! can i make it in time !! i need to shower ! wear my shoe ! arrange my rucksack (well all of my "tools" is in there! (^_^) yikes! !) ... picking up pace and ran all the way to the lecture hall !! im sweating man ! in the morning ?! .. finally reached my 1st class for today at 8.50am.

As soon as i sat down, i couldn't understand anything !! gastrulation ? neuroectoderm ? proliferation of mesencymal cell into the endoderm ? neuro crest ? folding of epiblast ?? non of that make any nonsense to me !! Yeah ! coming late to class really pay you big time !! .. ngee !!Dont come in late .. just come punctually is enough for slowpoke like me ! haha ... 

After the class has finished, putting my head on the table while my hand wondering inside my rucksack searching for that darn schedule.And yeah !! looking at those empty spaces !! thanks to god!! NO CLASSES UNTIL LUNCH TIME !!!

Finally !! I have couples of hour for my brain to go day dream! haaaaaaaaaaah ... Went back to my room, window wide open, let the breeze in, lay down on my bed, listen to my mp3 and listen to calmly jazz songs ... 

so tranquil and relaxing ... a very good day to have my Ramadan relaxingly.

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  Well, the tranquility just ended there.

2.00PM, something they called PPIP, literally relate to study skills on sort. Just major of answering some psychological questions (which I can predict  what the outcome is actually ..)   blahhh ... blahhh ... blaah ... capital B! BORING! .... the doctor referring to deep learning, surface learning and strategic learning...

WHY ??! WHY ??! 

do human have to classified other humans ? is it a MUST ??

cant we just be what we used to be ?? been positively and comfort with ourselves ? the way of our study ??

from my point of view, people who do research on people, trying to understand people in a way, that is just wrong, scientifically study human nature and classifying them is totally selfish!. And the conclusion for the test is referring to whom is a surface learning STUDIES shows that most of them did not succeed in life. OMFG ?? the meaning of succeed is TOTALLY subjective !!!

ahhh ... i am quite f***ed up and overly reacted to those test. everyone has their on perspective. If their studies are genuine and completely related to human and not basically experimented animals (monkeys, rats or rabbits), i will find some space to change of heart.

Thanks again for reading my blogs! :P

Have a nice day dreaming day ! :D

New life transition !

woohhh ! major breakdown! ... actually mmg dah terpk to start blogging (again and again) after i get through to med. school. but its seem that life kat med. school lagi complicated! schedule-packed! lots of assignment !! group activities and so on ! 

Kubang Kerian Campus

Its already past two months now after i registered myself at PPSP USM, Kubang Kerian. And not single entry has been submitted here! hahaha .. there goes my commitment !! hahaha :P ... 

It was nerve wracking for me though... i have to choose between work and study. At first mmg terpk i dont wanna let go of my job !! .. sebab i already achieves my economic balance (duit banyak .. planning on buy lots of things with my paycheck ....) ..  everything was okay until that fine day .. dapat offer letter ... for crying out loud .. masa dapat offer .. dunia seperti gelap gelita .. sunyi sepi .. (dan ako xpengsan time tu ... okay !) ... there are too many reason why i am thinking of rejecting the offer ... sebab .. at first terlampao byk competitor !! matrix student ... stpm and some other diploma .... and second the age range between us is like between 80's and the 90's ... over a decade ! .. third .. sponsorship status ...

yeah .. sure ... becoming a medical doctor is my dream job ... god has given me a chance to become one of 'em. Accepting the offer mean that i have to become student again !! (noooooooooooooo..... !!) ... thats the reaction that i get from my friends ... (thanks guys! *sigh!). ... and again, why dont i TRY to survive in med.school .... if god given me a chance .. why dont i try ma best to succeed ... trying is better than not doing anything and then regretting it more for not to try it at all!! 

So far my life as med. student ... psychological is slightly eccentric ... physically exhausted ... banyak giler nota nak kena bace ... at least during diploma my classes are relatively arranged so that we can understand and what to expect on the next class !!! ...  well .. i'll  try to bare with this situation ! ...

this is how SGD suppose to be !!! discuss together !! 

As for today !! .. lagi menyakitkan hati ... jiwa dan raga ... the SGD activities (small group discussion) .. OMFG!!... please la ... kalau nak related to discussion .. let us discus the questions before answering it la!! kalau nak suruh jawab then name the activites as SAG (Small Answering Group) ... daymn .... there is no point of having one by one to answer all the questions and then listen to the correct answer from the lecturer... 

Yeah .. we all know that during degree studies, we have to find the answers all by ourselves ... at least give us some guidelines ... so that we can manage ourselves to do it properly ... 

i think that is all for today.... hopefully tomorrow wont be as bad as today ... 

thanks for reading ! gud day !