my first POZ friend...

hey tuls, haven't met for a long time!! wanna meet up?

that was a text on facebook after 7 years of not meeting. he was my mate in highschool. we were close back then but of course with time, we grew apart minding our own little lives...

Carter gave the green light as we were reading that message together and after a few hours i was out the door to a cafe nearby...

he lost weight, a little darker than before, still tall as usual... still lame and funny.

we talk about everything under the sun, him and his life... work... studies... his big promotion...

me and my UK, studies, work, and basically everything to sum up the 7 years of absence...

and then...

he came out to me...

he used to have a gf... that being said, it's not an excuse for me to exclude him from the gay equation but i just never would have thought that he is.. maybe cos we used to be so close that the thought never came up?

anyway...

he told me about his sluttiness...

the usual...

not to say all gays fuck around... but like... with the apps and all, it's not as hard as it used to be...

i didnt hold back in telling him a little extra about myself too... and with that i came out to him too... not a surprise to him it seems, i wonder why........lol

anyway....

just when i thought that he fully came out from the closet, the next news he told me send him straight back in to where he started...

he is infected.

shutting himself out from everyone... well, except his bf...

i was so curious.... does your bf know?

yes, but he refuse to leave me, he is the one kinda taking care of me now..

wow...

its been 2 years...

oh... wow....       are you on meds?

yea... it's my first week...

oh.... ok. huh, as in... your CD4 just only drop? i mean like usually treatment starts when your CD4 count drops below a certain level...? and if im not wrong, current guidelines recommend to commence treatment as soon as infection is detected no?

hm... yea.... but.... i wasn't ready... so yea....

2 years huh.....

hm.....

you know who you got it from?

erm.... nope...

wait... do you bottom much?

well, i tried once but i didnt enjoy it...

oh, i mean like usually bottoms are more prone according to survey...

hm....

like.... do you use protection...?

er........... ..... ...... ......


with that pause, i knew he never use it at all...


how did you found out at first anyway?

one day when my bf and i wanted to do it.. we started kissing and he went down... as he was going to give me a bj, he stopped and said that there were red dots all over my dick and asked me to go get checked just incase...

hm....

i went... ....and i had Syph and also HIV....

2 in 1 combo...

haha... yea....   syph was gone after antibiotics... but yea...  before that too i kept falling sick and i have shingles and stuffs... i didnt realize i was infected then...

and like your bf... is he?

no.... he is not...

and he sticks with you till now? o m g how long have you guys been together?

3 years..

ok... win liao... like these kinda bf is rare and extinct!

hmm... yea....

..... you guys.... still do it?

no...

o m g! 3 years, no sex?

yup....

i will die if i monk for 3 months... lol..


and with that, i have my first POZ friend! lol. not that im collecting types of friends or what. but like, i mean i do know friends that are POZ that doesn't know that i know, usually through gossips... but like this is a friend that tells me directly. so yea, that makes him my first.

sky was pouring...

the heavens are crying....

it was gloomy and so i suggested that we go for a karaoke session and sing all our sorrows away...

2 years of knowing and preparing himself to start on a lifelong decision, taking meds on time is crucial because even taking an hour late from the proposed time could help the virus gain resistance to the current meds... HIV meds will keep increasing in that manner... i know a patient who was taking 40 tablets a day to control his infection. thats like crazy a lot. and hiv tablets are fucking huge.

so.... any side effects from the meds ?

haha.... i was flying ....

lol... like what? like high?

yup... sometimes i couldnt even get up in the morning... lol .... i think i need to get a doctors letter saying that im on meds that could make me woozy in the morning... lol... dowan later my company thinks i ponteng....

hm... true true....

o m g! no wonder you're so thin!!!

= ="

i also wanna be thin!

i slap you!



be safe people, be safe...
tuls

new revelation of the past...

it's been a while since i had a heart to heart talk with my mum. traditional chinese families dont do heart to heart. showing love or concern is kinda a taboo. although there are no exchange of saying i love yous and physical hugs, you could still feel the love.

i dont consider my parents to be traditional at all, but, some traditional traits were passed down to them indirectly.

something happened today and it kinda brought up stuffs in the past. stuffs that i no longer wanna remember but yet cant avoid.

when i was younger, i dont really remember my mum cook at home at all. we would always order take out and would go to restaurants to eat dinner and all after school. up till now i still tell myself and friends that my family rarely cooks at home cos eating out really is cheaper than to cook at home, which is considerably true to think of it.

remember we used to go kenny rogers all the time? you know why we always go there? cos i dont have to pay by cash. i pay all using credit card, and then only pay minimal at the end of each month just to survive. i remember times when i dont even have cash to eat lunch. i would rather borrow from the bank than my siblings. yes they say family comes first, but all my siblings have got family of their own and sometimes its not as easy as borrowing from him or her, its more like borrowing from that family. 

well those days are gone, mum is no longer in debt thank goodness.

all my mums siblings are quite well off to do. most of them are quite strong in terms of religion and believing in God and all. they donate to their respective place of prayers every so often without holding back but that kinda irk me in a way now to think of it when they refuse to help mum but yet so willing to donate to something that is merely visible.

yes, i'm all out not a religious person. i can say that i dont believe in something that i cant see. i may not understand the supreme divine being that is higher than us. that aside, why can't you help your family before helping the church or temple? you do that because donating to the church makes you feel more noble? people noticed how much you donate and they praise and appreciate you more? for goodness sake your sister is suffering somewhere else...

i respect my elders, but that doesnt mean i need to like them... i still do go back to my mum's hometown for reunions and stuffs just for the sake of my mum... i dont really wanna.. there is nothing there to see other than relatives flaunting their riches at our faces..

you dont know how much i had to put up last time just to survive. i just dont say it out only.

that instance i nearly cried, but i didnt. it was the past and i'll just let it be. yes i may be hating my aunts and uncles but everything is ok now. mum is better now that im good boy stable earning a fixed income every month. i took over paying all the utility bills and car loans and just trying to ease her burden as much as i could.

i want to tell her that i love her very much, and i really do appreciate her, but because of the traditional family trait of not expressing that was indirectly passed to me, i didnt. but i know she knows and i know she knows that i know too. so its all good.


we will just love each other silently.

there are lots of good strangers out there...

you know sometimes you have that feeling.. feeling of feeling feeling.. like sudden influx of emotions through your body for no reason..

well i just had one..

was showering and was thinking while looking at the ceiling...

i realize that im in malaysia...

like wow...

it took me half a year to really realize that..

....

im not sleeping the whole time...

i was just....... .............i dont know. suddenly i miss the cold miserable full of slutty fun life of England..

Keith texted me not too long ago and said that I had overdrawn 10pounds from my bank account and that the statement was sent to him... and i was like: REALLY?... and he was like: yea, i paid it off already..

:)

he is just too sweet... still sweet even after so long....

i do miss him..

he is a good chapter of my life.. Carter once said to me a year ago, he said: I think if Keith was 10 years younger you would have married him... 

i guess he is right, i said. haha.... silly keith... he texts me every now and then asking about life over here in malaysia, asking about Carter and I, my family.. he is really such a sweeet sweeet daddy. Anyone who wants a daddy in UK who doesnt mind him sexing me before can always contact me and I shall intro la.. LOL... JOking..

anyway...

chatting with Keith made me reminisce about the life i had in UK. the weather, the job, me taking the metro, my lovely awesome car, my graduation, how i struggled through uni while doing 2 jobs at the same time...

i had a great life there..

i always told myself, i wanna get out of the country for good, never wanna come back here, this place is a shithole...

being back here for 6 month, having someone special now, surrounded by friends and family, it feels like this is not a bad place after all...

haha..

i mean as long as youre content with what you have and where you are, i guess its all that you need to stick around..

or maybe im just too lazy to find a job in England, but whatever, thats not the main point..


i wanna thank those who wrote to me with their concerns and those who wanted to help for the past few years while i was abroad.. at times of trouble, you guys were there to support even though most of you dont even know me personally at all...

to that one person who helped me get tix to go home when i was in deep shit, i owe you the most, you helped me even though we havent met and that you only know my story through this blog... may God bless you always.. you dont know how much it meant to me that night, it was like 2 am in the morning, and my visa was like expiring in a month, and I was all alone, with no one to go to, insomnia kicked in, stress mode full on and with no security whatsoever, I texted you and..... ....just thank you so so much. Like the angmos like to say: youre an angel! :)

i've had lots of really good encounters in my life... lots of help here and there along the way.. i just wanna be that person in the future too, someone who could lend a hand to another person when he/she is in deep shit, whether its emotional, financial or physical support... i know i am trying to...



there are lots of good strangers out there, i wanna be a part of that society too..

till then... have a good year ahead to whoever who is still reading this dusty page :)

dried cum...

i woke up today, admiring my fat chest and to my amazement i saw a shiny scale... and i was like... wtf is that?

the end.

that blowjob was dirty...

i was wearing a white trunk underwear one day and i notice a little yellowy stain at the bottom of it and naturally i thought that it was sweat plus shit or something la cos before that i had a dump and so i just ignored it..

the next morning the whole underwear stinks and i was like wtf! the yellowy stain was all over my underwear and the first thing that came to mind was FUCK, NOT AGAIN!

so this time i was symptomatic. it happened 2 to 3 days after that blowjob i posted before this. 

i remembered the first time that happened was almost 2 years ago where i was asymptomatic and only found out when Keith shows symptoms, same ones i experienced. 

if its bacterial infection, if its symptomatic, there will usually be discharge and usually stinks.. pain while urinating is also common.. well these are the only two that i experienced.. if you wanna know more about the signs and symptoms of common sexually transmitted disease

=> http://www.patient.co.uk/health/sexually-transmitted-infections-leaflet

anyway, to summarize, you might wanna get checked if you have the one or more of the following:

• pain while urinating (new episodes)
• discharge (yellow or white) usually smelly, do not get confused with pre cum or ejaculating while youre asleep
• persistent itch even after showering and cleaning
• new abnormal looking bumps or blister 

you are lucky if you have symptoms cos at least you know, and you wont keep spreading it to people without knowing.

50% of the infections do not show any symptoms and that is why it is so dangerous. you may carry it for months and no know you have it if you are asymptomatic.

anyway.. the first thing that came to mind was to get treatment, i didnt have a car then and it was raining cats and dogs.. and so i called my bestie and say: SOS bitch, come now! im leaking yellow and its nasty!

and it no time he was in front of my house and off we went to the pharmacy

you arrr.... such a slut!

WHAT?!?!?!

yala! sex sumore la!!

what the fuck! hahahaha.. it was only one blowjob! how the fuck should i know la!! that dirty fucker!

-.- go get azithromycin 1.5g now!

yes yes...

so we went to all the pharmacies nearby and only found it at the fourth pharmacy we stopped by.. it was RM20 for 6 tablets of 250mg of azithromycin... the branded one was RM50 for 6 tablets, pharmacies will usually try to sell it to noobies before selling the cheap one and the first 3 pharmacies did stock the brand but I'm not paying extra 30rm for the same thing lol.

so with a bottle of water, it all went down my tummy...

an hour later, fuck! i was having cramps, tummy ache! hahahaha... common side effects with such high dose cos usually 1g is sufficient to kill it but i was being cautious and took 1.5g.. my besties and I are both in the medical field so we just followed our instincts to do what we did...

the pain left after a couple of hours...

discharge was still going on till the next morning... i threw away 3 underwears that was stained with discharge. not even bothering to wash it! lol hahahahahaha....

but yea, i will need to go get tested soon... my last one was in May but this needs to be done just to make sure nothing remains...

if only i was in the UK then this would be free...

the discharge and pain stopped the next morning.. and now i feel fit as a fiddle...

anyway, people, the moral of the story is, you can get infected even if its just light fun... 

imagining yourself kissing a guy that has chlamydia on his mouth! yucks!!! hahahaha.. 

play safe and be safe!

xoxo

blowjob scare, bottoms blowing bottoms, so what?!

hey, you wanna get a deepthroat? i give the best blowjob, no teeth, very nice, you will like it..

i was like.... i think im too horny already and not everyone can really stimulate me to make me hard that easily but fuck it i said yes..

yup

surprisingly he lives round the corner and i was there in no time...

i walked into his room after him pointing me towards it asking me to enter as he closes he apartment front door.. in no time he stripped me down naked and he started to blow me...

gosh it was so exhilarating and it made me hard instantly and everything he said was true..

so after about 3-4 minutes i was like: hey, do you wanna take your clothes off?

.....*shakes head*.....

then i pulled his t shirt a little indicating that i want him to take it off and only then he took it off...

after a few more minutes i was like... take your pants off

*shakes head*

take it off now!

...*mouth still blowing me: no*.....

why not?

he ignored me...

take it off.... i try pulling his pants down but he grabbed my butt even tighter and blow me even harder...

fuck...

then i try pushing him away but it made the bj better cos he was sucking it so hard as he doesnt wanna stop blowing and i was like in my mind thinking what the fuck is this guy trying to do...

fuck...

he keep blowing me hard and fast and i was like having crazy thoughts in my brain...

why does he wanna hide his dick?

does he have a dick?

is he trans?

omgosh does he have some STD?

or is his dick really small?

or is his dick deformed? you can imagine all the crazy thought that a person could imagine....

and then this time i really push him hard enough for him to release my dick from his suction and i asked him: why do you not wanna take your pants off? you got STD?

NOLA!! crazy meh....

then?

i dont want you to fuck me later

-.-

.....

im a bottom i wont fuck you!

.... -.- .....


his moood just died....

what happened?

i didnt expect you to be a bottom

err.... ok? didnt my profile say that im a bottom?

these sohai people really didnt read a shit...

well, so what if im bottom? 

he just smiled...

so i say: well, i can speed up the process and cum now if you want...

yea....

then i DIY... and i edge all my cum to the point of blasting and i asked him where do you want me to shoot?

shoot it in my mouth...

-.- in my head i was like: i thought your mood died but you still want my cum ? -.-

and i asked him: you sure?

then i just shoot it all in and i was correct, he swallowed....




but seriously, whats wrong if i was a bottom if all you want is just a blowjob? does it make it less sexier? -.- you can really tell that as though he just cum and lost all sex interest when he heard that i was bottom -.-

in a way its a good reassurance point like what Kiddystick told me saying that I look like a TOP! muahahahahahaha.... Kiddystick we should meet up, you should meet the TOP TULS! lol

if i have a bottom in front of me with a thick tool i would blow him like crazy... wtf man seriously wtf...

everything will be ok Tuls...

i've been rolling on my bed for hours now, this is the first time in my life i experience such thing..

the most i've rolled is about maximum half an hour but its been 3 hours now and I dont think I can sleep anytime soon...

my major final exam starts in 8 hours..

but thats not why I'm still wide awake..




so many things are just not right now..

i've called and texted my current employer several times but he did not reply. he told me not to worry about the job 2 months ago but now that I'm trying to contact him to clarify, he is not answering.

money from my dad never showed up, well, its been 2 years now. 2 years and I'm still paying my tuition fees with my own salary.

and because of that I've got not enough to get me my flight tix back home..



i'm so tired..




yes, i know nothing is easy in life and nothing always go the way we want... but I'm really tired..

i feel like I'm not really putting much effort into finding another job to stay here too, I will need to work on that after the exam if i really wanna stay, and cos this employer doesnt seem be much of a reliable person..



i feel so helpless and hopeless all of a sudden :(




no tears seems to come out..



its only a month left till my visa expires.. and if i really dont get a job then its goodbye UK and hello Malaysia?

hm...

well, there's nothing wrong in going back home but...

haha.. no buts Tuls, if its not yours, its not yours..



i just feel like finding a rich boyfriend and let him take care of me, i'll just be a good housewife...


i think im really qualified to be a housewife/maid.. i have a self proclaimed PhD in that field..

if there are any takers, please contact me asap...

i dont even have the sum ching to joke now... 

i'm an addict... and it killed me inside out...

i didnt know it could be that bad..

i thought it was normal.. i thought it was ok...

but it got worse...



for the past month i was constantly tired and weak... during the day, at work, back from work and night... practically i was feeling that way the whole time..

it started off as a routine.. but it got worse..

i wasnt focused, i wasnt doing anything beneficial, i was really wasting a lot of time, and a lot of energy.. i even fall sick at one point...

i only spend 4 hours to sleep each night where it could have been twice the amount...

yesterday was the worst, i didnt sleep at all...

when i finish and wants to sleep the sun is already hanging up high and i just realize ive got an appointment that morning...

my heart was aching from all those hours of not sleeping, my face looks like crap, my body went out of shape, my eyes looks terrible...

basically im a wreck...

i can control it, i can avoid it.. but im addicted to it..


when the night finally kick in, i slept a good whole 10 hours...

today im feeling so so good, my eyes were not shutting at all when i was at work, im not yawning, i feel so spirited, so energetic, i feel so alive...

i feel like a whole new person...






but the time of night is here again...

its is now..

9.20pm..

my hand is going down into my pants...

but my mind says you better not touch it or else you will regret it...


masturbation is good for you...

do it excessively and you will waste all your time on it..

i edge for 7 hours on sunday morning and the outcome was good, the splash was good, i gave it a score of 12/10....

i lost all my sleep..

i lost my time..

i lost my life...

i have no energy...

no mood..

and no everything... .....not even a morning erection..



i hope i can overcome this...

no one can help me but myself...

What happen in 2013??

i just realize i made new years resolution for 2013 and posted in this blog twelve months ago, this is really embarrassing cos i have no recollection doing it..
anyway, the list is as follows:

1. Be grateful2. Graduate3. More thrifty in expenditures4. Don't take Keith for granted5. Take the initiative to keep in touch with Malaysia


apart from the 5th one, i think i did everything else... 

I did not really put much effort in maintaining contact with my homeland even though i have all the time in the world to do so. I neglected talking to my family and my friends. I mean, yup, they kinda understand the distance and the time difference and all but.. All i can think of is excuses. Maybe I'm blaming myself too much? ... i dont know.. well, sometimes i dont even remember that i need to keep in touch with them.. is that bad? :( well, maybe there are lots of other things that are occupying my mind right now(or then)..

on more petty resolution that was also listed are:

6. Do something about your body please, its lari-ing
7. Pakai parfum hari hari
8. Make sure bed room is tidy at all times!
9. Go on a well deserved vacation after graduation
10. Dont procrastinate too much
11. Dont masturbate too much
12. Try to be more open minded(very hard cos im very very very open liao)
13. Make a dance routine on Earthquake by Labyrinth! lol
14. Eat healthily
15. Manage time more efficiently 

number 8 is a disaster. really sorry Mister room. 10 and 11 unachievable. 13 failed. 15 could be better but overall I think 2013 is pretty good.

Summary of 2013 is as follow:

fell in love, had the scare of my life from Chlamydia, graduated, started working, broke up, went for crazy dating spree, found new love..

so yea, sounds simple and easy but no one knows what happens behind the scene..

looking back at the few post i had in the past year, one of them was titled: WHAT IF I BROKE UP WITH KEITH.. haha.... not to jinx it but its just hilarious to see post that are predictive that kinda happened too.. lol... but no one was prepared for it.. not even me...

:)

but im glad it ended...

im glad we had closure...

im really glad that he is seeing someone else now and kinda used his experience with me to make things better with this new guy, the jealous me would be: oh, he wont be as good as ME, but the me that wants him to be happy is really happy for him right now although he is still not letting go of me just yet...

i mean...

its not easy....

its not easy for me too....

but it needs to be done...

Keith would be a sweet memory that I will cherish...

ive got my eyes on little Tom now, i just need to settle one more thing before I confess my feelings to him... 

wish me luck..

and..

Happy New Year. I hope this year will be a good one for me!! 2+0+1+4 = 7

lucky number 7 no? lol

ps. thank you to those who were there supporting me all the way from all over the world throughout my years in the west: niey, soulchild, daddyO, littleprince, bear and bunny, KW, bubu, wyatt, dannythebigmouth, germsy, malimo, mascaraboy, sunflowergirl to name a few that i can think of :)

burnt milk...

me: babe, want a cuppa?

keith: thatd be lovely!!

so what do you want? what do we have?? coffee?? tea?? horlicks??? hot chocolate?!!?!?

horlicks please!!

ok...

i want milk in it ok..

er.... ok...

hot milk..ok...

make sure its hot youalright alright!!!

and so i heat his fucking milk up with a pan and guess what, the milk burnt! -.- i just poured the burnt milk into the sink and fuck it..

once i made him milo with milk powder he said its too watery so i know liao he like thick thick one..

i put in 4 table spoon of milk powder in it just to make sure the drink is thick and milky..

and when the drink was made...

mm.... lovely!!

errr... of course!! i made it!!

one day he asked for it again but he knows we dont have any milk left but i lied to him and said there is still, and used milk powder instead and he still drinks it..

keith is just sohai.. he damn benci.. cant even differentiate milk and milk powder and im not gonna fucking heat milk up anymore, the pot that i use to heat milk that burnt i threw it away liao cos the stain seem to just eat on it.. fuck it..

on another note, work has been busy and i'm quite occupied most of the time.. and like after work i come home eat and shower then sleep liao then work all over again.. the life is quite sien.. lol...

two guys kissing at the airport...

this happen in my dream one.. so i was virtually at the airport sending my friend off to Bermuda Triangle..

he was with his alltimeloverbutindenialduetocircumstances-boyfriend and before he left for the hot gates, they kissed...


15 years ago, if i were to see this.. i will go YERRRRRRRRRR O.O

10 years ago, if i were to see this.. i will go search for related porn to kill my curiosity..

5 years ago, if i were to see this.. i will go AIDS!!!!!!

now.. i go awwwwwwwwwww.....     :)


its quite different how things change with time, in life, experiences we acquire along the way and experiences we picked up could really transform a person.

like for example ignorant people will relate gay with AIDS. AIDS is step 100, being gay is step 1. we cant just jump to 100 and skip the rest in between. just like wanting a baby without having sex -.-

20 years ago AIDS would be step 3 or 4, but with advancement of the medical industry, AIDS cases are rarer and rarer now.

Back then, you will get a full blown effect of the disease and get AIDS in like what, 3 years? and then you will just die of a simple infection. With the meds now, you can live for over 20 years.

In uni, there was a lecture on HIV and there was a special acronym in it called MSM and when the lecture said that it was men who had sex with men, it was just hillarious in a way that they have such a thing. lol

So, few fun facts of HIV transmission for you guys

50% of the newly diagnoses HIV patient are MSM

if you are on HIV medication with full discipline, having unprotected sex is quite safe. lol. thats in my opinion la cos the number of virus in the blood is so low!!! 

you can live for more than 20 years if you are strict with your medications.

if you dont take your medications properly, in the long run, you will need to increase your tablets, in the UK, the highest number of tablets taken by one HIV patient is 26 tablets a day.. and you need to take it for life!!!

most of the awesome meds have ugly side effects, most of them could make you out of shape, some gives you nightmares!!

living with the disease is really very depressing like, so if you know anyone who has the disease, do not despise them. who are you to judge him or her. just dont have sex with them la!! why cannot be friends?

before i go..

if you know you have HIV and you have sex with someone who doesnt know you have it. that is wrong even if you wear condom!

if you curse someone especially me to have AIDS, you will rot on earth, and in hell!!

xoxo i love you guys..

kutuk my car!! niama!!

its a lovely day today and we drove to town to get me some groceries, not because i asks to, its because it was on the way -.- .. and then we went to get some tiles from some warehouse along the coast road in Newcastle cos mr Engineer here wants to retile the whole bathroom!! *claps* -.-

anyway so as we were on the way there we saw lots of mercedez along the way and he was like

wow, look at all the mercedez...

eww... such a nice car but they have that big butt behind, such a turn off!

well, i like them! cos you could have more space for anything you know.. dont you like estates?

........err.. so bulky... yala, i know you get to put more things la but....

la... -.- what car do you drive back home?.........

ferrari? -.-

bentley? -.-

mercedeProton!

MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

-.-

muahahahahahahaha....

what so funny?

can it run? -.- MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

ok, let go, no touching my hands for the rest of the journey!!

aww, man, youre cruel!! come on man!! :)

and i pushed his hands away and he kept coming back but i am bengang!! although proton cars are laoya but i drove that for four fucking years before coming here so i iz bengang him!!

and he keep trying to make me laugh, i did laugh in the end but still i didnt touch his hands the whole journey! that would teach him not to make fun my proton!!

ish!! i damn benci him!!!!!!!!!! eeeeeeeeeee

taking the tiramisu credit...

the dinner i made for him on saturday night was too delicious and too much cos of the cheap promotion kat tesco, i bought 2 packets of brussel sprouts, 1 pack of mixed vege and 1 packet of bean sprouts all for 1 pound altogether, we couldnt believe the cheapivity of it and like i cooked the whole lot as though we are some cow drinking vege for dinner like that..

made chilli pork with spring onion and also chicken essence rice.. the rice wasnt too much but the vege stuffed us both!

in the end, the tiramisu that was for dessert that night was not touched at all..

after that got intense exercise and all got hungry and everything but we didnt wanna brush gigi again so we just drop the idea of eating.. lol..

the next day cos i have to work and we usually have our weekly sunday lunch near the beach one so we didnt touch that whole kotak of tiramisu omgucci...

fine la..

before we left i took 3 scoops la say wanna try and all scare no nice but mana tau turns out ok la, have to put more coffee rum..

so anyway.. this conversation took place as he was sending me back after lunch..

so, youre going to mums later right? (he usually goes to his mum for dinner every sunday)

yup yup, as usual..

well, why not you bring the tiramisu over?

hm... i have to find a container...

why cant you just use the ori one?

cos its not presentable...

-.- seriously?

well........... maybe i will just do that, family doesnt mind anyway..

=.=

so so so so, what if your mum asks you who made it, what will you say?

well, im just gonna tell her the truth!

what? youre gonna tell her that it was me?

well, no, im gonna say that i made it!

=.= she knows you enough to know that youre a kitchen noob, she wont buy it...

well, mother trusts me most!

=.= fine...

so the night went by... they had dinner and MY pudding and Keith texts me..

mother loves the pudding!

really?

yup!!

so................did she asks you where did it appear from?!

yup, i told her it was leftovers from a house warming..

=.= right.................

:)

urgh...

CNY so not... lol.. and preparation to meet the Clique!

so this years celebration is kinda not hot at all! lol..

not to say last year's is any better cos in Ang Mo land the atmosphere tak la boomz at all.. no holiday no ang anywhere.. its just dull plain cold cb shit... lol

and what makes things worse is that i need to work! :) lol... tuls, think of the money tuls!! okok!! you cannot be angry cos you are YOUNG N CUTE!!

i made Tiramisu on Thursday night, non alcoholic of course and went to his place without him knowing at 11pm at night and woke him up from bed! hahahaha.. he was quite shock that i went and was really glad that i was there and so was I.. I went cos friday no class and also its my first time making dessert..

from his expression i can see that he amat suka it and like he said that its his first homemade dessert that someone actually made for him.. hehe... so plus point for me! *TING*

he just fetch me home and i was there since thursday night and boy oh boy sex was on the to do list like twice a day kinda thing until my balls is now invisible as it is so empty it flattens! Lolllllll kidding! hahahah....

being around Keith is amatla comfortable and like.. hm... (we shall continue this feeling thing on another post)...

what i wanna say today is he just throw the bomb at me saying that his close friends wants to meet me this upcoming weekend!

OH MY GUTTTTTTTTTT!!!

why didnt you tell me earlier?

well..... they texted me like just an hour ago..

oh my.. really? oh my oh my... erm.... ermm... ok... do you think i should cut my hair?

erm.... weli think i should cut my hair.....

if you say so... =.=means you fucking want me to cut my hair... WELL i didnt say a thingbut your expression says it all you bast................urgh!!!

omgosh...omgomgomg... are you serious?

yea.. ok okokokok.. im gonna go cut tomorrow after getting my hep B jab.. wokay!!

so yup, next week is like meeting the family kinda thing omgosh.. and they are all around his age and like i feel like im gonna get interogated and all and like...

oh my....

what should i wear? how should my hair be styled? oh my... i cant breathe! lol hahahahahaha.... ive got a raised blood pressure and pulse and all those shit now adrenaline is pumping like cb... urghhhhh...

i got chlamydia, so what?

some people are just insensitive, but what to do kan, people see std like chlamydia like a disease like that, when you have it, people thinks youre a dirty ho and will stay far far away from you.. lol..

well, up to now, only AIDS is incurable but people living with AIDS are living forever and it takes decades to kill someone with AIDS as there are medicine to slow the progression of the disease down..

so why the stigma? lol.. i know la, some people are laughing at their asses off that this silly tuls finally, finally contracted some disgusting mother fucking disease, ok lor... laugh lor... stay far far away from me lor... i dont need you in my life pun..

come near me i ATCHYOU shoot my mucus to you you will die in 7 days of my superbug clamydia!! niama!!

lollllllll..

so my treatment is done, and today im getting my hep b jab!!! :) wohooooooo!! its free like!! in malaysia i think it will cost you entah how much like.. lol..

WHAT IS CHLAMYDIA?

instead if youre wondering, its a CURABLE mother fucking disease, that is passed through intercourse! yes, oral sex pun boleh!!

50 percent of men doenst show any symptoms..

usually symptoms are quite vague also la, but mainly discharge lor... now the techno so canggih, just google and everything will pop out anyway..

usually long term complications are only teruk towards women, making them infertile and entah.. but like for us.. advantage ada sikit la..

like they say, play safe ok, i also need to promote save sex one although im quite safe too *rolleyes*... feeling syiok ma... muahhahahahha...

sexual health clinics in UK provides everything free.. in Malaysia i think you need to pay about 200RM to get the full STD screen i think.. if youre sexually active, can go check ba yearly, i did it back in malaysia but only for the HIV one that cost about 25RM..

chlamydia sounds like CLAM DIA, i clam him with my asshole can? lolllll hahahaha..

urgh... hectic month for me la February!! TULSie, jia you jia you!!! and if you perasan that you are laughing with bad intentions that I got chlamydia, i hope you no good die(bu de hao si) lol... good intention laughs are like, i also dont know.. ahahahahahaha...

its a lesson ba, to me and hopefully to those clean virgins who are reading this.. hahahahahahahahah...

xoxo

shock of my life... Part 3 - Chlamydia O.O

so i woke up at the particular time stated on the paper to call the clinic, before that i asked my friend over from across the hallway to teman me give me additional spiritual suppRots! lol..

ring ring...

hello, i would like to know my results please, patient number 29126..

just a mo..... .............................

................

........................

......

well, there are traces of chlamydia at your back passage.... ....everything else is normal.

you sure? nothing else?

yea... owWhat what?, and your hep B immunity is low, do you want to come in today and get the jab?

oh... that.. i will pop in next week....

no problem...

and so thats it. the course of antibiotic is done with and im cure!!!! hopefully stupid bacteria dont gain any resistance and just fuck off from my system la..

lol...

its kinda distressing to wait for results like...

im glad its over!!! :)

shock of my life... Part 2 - The Test

so i woke up at 8 in the morning knowing that the clinic opens at 9, ok lor, took my time put on thick thick clothing cos it was like 0 degrees.. niama...

the clinic was a 30 minutes walk from my place so ok lor, just walk lor, take it as morning exercise.. it was raining renyai renyai...

once i reach there, i register lor.. then take number.. lucky number 4 then..

when registering, quite funny one, they ask you what race are you, omgosh the list got like 26 over option tau...

i was quite torn between chinese and other asian.. i cannot tahan so i just told her im from malaysia.. lolll.. dont know what she tick la.. fuck it..

then i went in and waited at the waiting room lor.. got kiddo age 16 or maybe lesser(looks really young but maybe older than me i dont know la..), and also handsome dudes all in the room.. damn power.. but i look like shit cos baru bangun so fuck it...

...

....

the waiting was crazy..

i waited for 1 hour and 20 minutes only sampai my turn.. niama or not..

went in and then this lady doctor in her thirties one i think sat me down and started a convo..

so im going to ask you some questions and some of them might be quite ridiculous but its part of knowing the condition better ok?

ok..(as a student of the same field, im quite open la so i just take whatever question she tembak me with)

what are you here for..

my partner, erm... he has got a discharge and so here I am..... well, he went to one of the GUM clinic to do his check already..

and what did the doctor say?

well, NSU? then bla bla bla bla bla

then come the funny questions, of course she made it as comfortable as she could while trying not offend me but i can tahan one... lol.. but some of the question are really funny..

how old is your partner? i was honest when answering questions about keith...

what is your partner's name? and which clinic did he went to?

did you had oral sex?

did you had anal sex?

when having sex, do you usually receive or give?

did you use protection?

how many partners did you have in the past six months? this question i lied, i said 4, but i think.....erm... the number should be multiplied by ________. lol... not saying!!!!!!!!

well, did you use protection everytime you do it? well, to be honest, i lied too in this question.. urgh...

do you know any of their names? i lied too...

where did you meet them? i said online dating la, but it was actually phone app, so it was a lie as well..

do you usually give or receive when you have sex with them?

what area did you meet up with them?

are they caucasian or asian in origin or a mixture? hohoho... this one no lie.. this one i honest.. :) lol..

well, Mr Tuls, im just gonna take some blood from you, do a throat swap, a swap from your back passage as well as the front, and also I will need a urine sample..

now if you dont mind can you take off your pants and lie down by your side curling your legs up?

my asshole was exposed but i was not shy at all, i was like, come on sister, swap my ASS!!! a nurse was present there as well, shy nia aku, NOT!!!

and now if you could turn to the front...

omgosh... so geli, she pulled down my excessive foreskin, my foreskin was so thick she could hide her finger in it... joking joking.. lol...

im going to squeeze and see is there any discharge ok... and so she squeezed my dick head! no discharge!! :)

im just going to take a swap now alright, i think thats the worst feeling ever, it hurt so bad that omgosh i cannot describe, i winch when she swap me omgoshhhhhhhh.. HATEEEEEZZZZZZ!!

im sorry, did it hurt? yea... hm... im really sorry...

can you bring your feet up? and she started to examine my kaki.... and then my hands.. and she was like, syphilis is transmittable by the hands and feet and it is very common in the north east.. and i was like.. ok sister, whatever...

and if you dont mind, would you fill this bottle for me.. and she passed me the urine sample bottle..

ok, if you think that swapping the dickhole is painful, wait till you pee after that.. it was FUCKING PAINNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after coming out from the toilet, Doctor, you asked me whether I experience any pain while urinating right? well, I do now... she laughed.. i think i was too rough and maybe its inflammed now, but it will be fine in a while... i laughed too.. damn sohai funny la... lol... but a few hours after that it was fine already.. lol..

so after the test, i was brought into another room where another consultant came to me..

now, i want you to finish this course of medicine, its a 7 days course.. and after this 7 days, call this number and they will tell you your results ok.. 

im not giving you the one off course because anal sex is involve and it might not be that effective in clearing up all the infection just in case if youre wondering...

i was like rolleyes... lol

and during the "consultation/lecture/info giving", i found out that there was a medication that if i were to have sex unprotected and fear that HIV might be involved, i could get a Jab that is effective protecting against HIV if given in 72 hours after exposure, and i could get it in any gum clinic or AnE department...

that was the most OMG-est statement that i heard so far...

i didnt know such medication exist, and it would be so so so so so so much helpful if malaysia has that too, dont know they got or not la but.. omgosh.... like omgomgomg!!!

i was with Keith the whole time through whatsapp, at least he was there for me la..oh yea, mr soul232 was giving me spiritual alhamdulilah too..lol
 
taking the med in the one of my pocket, and the other was the paper with the number to ring after a week, i walk home feeling like its the longest walk in my life..

after reaching home, although i feel tired and i could sleep back knowing that class is still hours away.. i just cant,........... just speechless... staring blankly at the dinding... being dramatic sikit... lol...

shock of my life... Part 1 - The News

as usual we had our normal weekly weekend meets cos im busy with my studies and he busy with work, and he lives at the next city so living together is still quite difficult cos of my hectic schedule..

anyway, sex is definitely one of the weekly programme that is compulsory and so when I was quite horny and ready to initiate the session Keith suddenly stood up and went to the next room and brought me a leaflet..

Non-specific Urethritis(NUS)...

for one second i went blank... i was like.. whats this?

and he went well, i went to the GUM clinic and had a check and they gave me this... (GUM = genito-urinary medicine, clinics to check the cibai and kukubird for STDs)

well, why did you go like?

mm.. i had a discharge...

what? when?

well, last weekend, and i went to the clinic on monday...

and you didnt tell me?

well, its not something i would wanna tell you over the phone...

but like.. you should have told me earlier and i could have went for a check earlier as well...

....hm... yea.. maybe i should...

.....

....

.....so... did the doctor say anything?

she cant see anything under the microscope and that is why NSU...

any meds?

well i was given 4 tablets of azithromycin...

chlamydia treatment... eee.....hm..... is your discharge like coloured?

well, its like white-ish...

hm.... have you had any before this like?

that was like 10 years ago!!!

hahahahaha.... .............................wait, after meeting me, did you had it with anyone else?

*pop eye* no, i havent been dating for quite awhile until i met you.. and after you.. no one..

hm... then its me then.... i wonder who gave it to me...

*POP EYE EVEN BIGGER* WHAT?!!!! HOW MANY YOU DID IT WITH??!?!

hihihihi... not telling...

geez....

continue cuddling...

im gonna first thing on monday...

doctor say no sex for a week..

well of course, i know!!! 

im just saying!! 

hahahahaha..... means no week for another week as well cos i will be under treatment..

*mission impossible 3 was playing on tv then....*

the atmosphere suddenly became quiet, with clouds of worries drifting everywhere...

doctor said it might just be a urinary tract infection, or maybe like change of new washing liquid or whatever..

i know... but like.. hm... yea la, hopefully nothing la...

whats la?

oh....la is like a suffix malaysians love to use it at the end of a sentence, its like how you guys love to use words like LIKE at the end of every sentence.. ok?

why only now you say it?

because im too comfortable around you already...

:)

continue cuddling.....

sunday night, instead of taking the bus to work like i usually do, i walk all the way there, took me a whole 40 minutes just thinking.. lol.. as though world end like that... but yea...

lee sen!

listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen...

WHEN I SPIG LISTEN!...

you know why my england so powerful? cos she is PIG and she SPIG!! ish stupid bitch zookeeper benciiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!

wasted my time..

i work as an interpreter on an ad hoc basis..

i travelled all the way to the appointed location only to find that there was no appointment made at all by the client with the surgery..

wasted my time nia! niama!

cant wait for the weekend to come! im meeting Keith this Friday and for the very first time we are going out on a date! :)

the encounters before this all took place at his rumah.. so not counted la.. hahahaha...

he is quite excited about it.. and me, of course needless to say, my heart bip bop bip bop.. !!!

all thats left to do now is to finish my sohai report tonight and i'll be free!