ten

I am thankful, grateful, surprised, excited and terrified, that I managed to finish one-third of the first challenge now. 

Day 10 - Best trip of your life

I am not sure if I have ever had any best trips. Most of them, mostly, consist of half-day long of being in the car, listening to some whatnot on the radio, while my parents are complaining about stuffs all over and over again, either it's about politics or about their acquaintances, co-workers and those people I don't really have the intention to know, nevertheless to care about. If the weather is good, then it is a plus one. If too sunny, like usual, I have nothing much to do. And usually, we don't even stay in the hotels, we just go, and come back as soon as possible. Even if we do check-in some hotels, both my parents will just stay inside the room until we head back home, which is all the time - not mostly, for only one night. Food, we bring from home or bought somewhere. Eventho that lately these patterns have been a bit change, but still, almost the same. Do I feel sad and jealous when I see photos of people with other families having fun on their vacation? I don't even have enough and sufficient vocabulary inside my head just to tell you that, yes, I am. Those pools, swimming pools, theme parks, water parks, whatever good stuffs going on out there, I have never, ever, be in one of those places. Yes, I do sound selfish in here. People will probably tell me that I should just be grateful and thankful for everything instead of just whining like a small spoiled bratty child in here. Whatever, people, my life is not just about fulfilling your requirement of happiness, and if I say that I want to be happy like other kids do, I really mean it. 

I still remember when I was a really, really young child where all of us went to the beach, or go to someplace rural where we play with water. It was happy times. But then I have no idea what have got into us, or my parents. They have been busier, and they, changed. I may have some problems with them today and I can't even figure out what is going on with me, it is just that, they aren't like my parents that I used to know. I miss my sister, that is. Kakak wasn't always being very understanding towards me, but I feel good and I can tell her things. Or at least a person on this world that I can tell almost everything. She didn't always understand, but I like her. She listened to me. And yes, it is almost 2 years since she left us, well, physically, but still, it also has been two years since I bottle things up inside me. I feel like sometimes my temper is like this much, like literally a pinch. I have nobody to tell all my problems too. And no, I can't count on my brothers. I told my eldest brother about my problem with MiFi and somehow, my second brother knows about it and he even bought one, either it is intentionally for me or not, I don't care much about that, and somehow, even my father knows about it. If I want to tell everybody about a problem I am having, then I surely will tell everybody in the Whatsapp group about it. I don't have to tell a person which finally explodes it to everybody in the family. Yes it looks like a small stuff but seriously, if people consider this as a small stuff, you really are a one very judgy person. Your world is dark and people hate you. 

This post somehow led to something really far-off. I am sorry. I just don't have "the best trip" in my life. I am not that perfect or at least came from a very, functioning family. Night people.

nine

This is going to be a one very short post. Okay, day 9, here it is.

Day 9 - What's in my wallet.

I have been wondering about this question today of what should I write. Okay. Wallet. Tonight let's talk about my wallet. It is a pretty old wallet, anyway. I have been using it for years. My eldest brother gave it to me. 

So, first thing, of course my money. After raya like a month ago I have like quite a lot of money in my wallet. Being 23 and the only one single person in the family is cool as both parents and both my brothers gave me duit raya. Quite a lot of money, I'd have to say. Next, bank receipts, of course. I am a receipt hoarder. I hoard receipts, so hard. Sometimes not only banks but also other receipts. Have no idea why but it feels so important to keep track of things. My Watson membership card. I rarely shop at Watson now so feels like a waste but still, it is quite okay I think. not really a waste. I did received a lot of free gifts from it upon registration. Then my debit card. My driving license. My ID, of course. Then my brother's credit card. Yup. I own a credit card. Deal with it. But I rarely use it and only use it during emergencies, such as when I can't purchase some stuffs from online by using my debit card, so I just borrow the credit card and pay for it later. 

That's all I guess. I used to showcase my photo inside my wallet but then my narcissism decreased a bit so I slid it behind the this one white card so now it's only a white card.  

eight

Day 8 - Five current goals

Not sure how, or why, do I do not even really have a really fixed goal right now. It maybe because of the "post-intern unseen plans" which I am currently having right now. But still, I should make some goals, am I. So, today I have been thinking of what are the goals I am aiming for right now. And maybe, maybe, for now, these goals are something relevant as for now, only. For the future, maybe too. Not sure. 

1 - I want to get fit

Not like fit, muscular, hunky type body. That's too much and too far for me. I really miss it back when I was in my freshman year, second semester to be precise. My belly was like okay, not as big as right now. I am not sure what is the correct or actual word for it. That was when I am still in pretty extreme saving mode. So, yea, I am still thinking of some ways to at least be in a better shape, again, soon. 

2 - I want to rid the "post-intern unseen plans" problem

This could take a tremendous amount of time. I am still unsure of what I will be doing starting this March 2017. I will give a lot of thinking time about this. Weighing all pros and cons and chances regarding this and finally, I will come up with the best solution, and go out of this sort of quarterlife crisis stuff and that's it. I will. I know that I will be. I just do.

3 - Adjusting myself to life-in-internship lifestyle

Because the atmosphere is going to be different. Like so different. I will be living off-campus. Means that, everything is changed. Lifestyle, of course. Cost of living, transportation mode, neighbourhood atmosphere, distance, etc etc, and since this is for my internship, I will have to go out early in the morning and be back home late evening. Office hours, of course. There are a lot of stuffs to think of, and I really, really hope that I could adjust myself as soon as I can.

4 - I want to commit

Or, I want to get rich in The Sims. As I told in previous post that I can get bored so easily where I only play some games for like, 7 days tops. But, I want to try with The Sims. I want to play for as long as I can. I want to get rich. One of the families that I play from the beginning, the Forrest family is now rich and living and Newcrest. Another one I am now is Smith, currently building his money and richness where soon I want him to live in lavishness with his spouse and maybe even have a couple of kids. I don't know, that seems interesting and committable to me.

5 - I want to get published in Thought Catalog

Again, I am stating this. Have no idea how but this is the eighth question in this first challenge. And, if you ask me how am I doing right now, well, so far so good. I do feel that sometimes my motivation is down and I don't feel like writing, or thinking of what to write. But still, don't look for ideas, create them. Just put a little courage, more is better, sit on the chair, stare at the screen, and that's how most of my posts are created. Really, one of my goals now is to be in Thought Catalog. Have no idea why, but that is like one of the things I'd like do now. 

And by the very least, I am now slowly thriving myself towards those goals now. May the very best of motivation and productivity, stay with me now, and always.