I wore a pair of jeans today that I bought a few months ago. They were comfy.. not to loose, not too tight. Every time I stand up today I have to pull them up. Woohoo for me!! I also weighed myself again this morning. Down 9 lbs since last week. So last week's gain had to be due to water retention. I'm really not good at watching my sodium. I usually don't add much salt to food, but I don't stay away from foods that are already salty. Thankfully, my blood pressure medication helps me to get rid of it.. but I don't plan on being on the medication forever. I'm hoping once I get some more weight off, I can go off of the medication. Oh, but I DID meet my first goal! I got one pound below a certain number (still not willing to share my weight)... so now I'm figuring out what my next goal is go be. I've lost a total of 29 lbs so far!!!!!!!
When I lost weight a few years ago, I bought smaller sized jeans. It was such a great feeling to be able to fit into pants that were 4 sizes smaller.. but the last time I put them on, I had to lie on the bed to get the zipper up.. and they made me sooo uncomfortable I couldn't breathe, not to mention that they pushed my muffin top out further! I put them away and didn't know if I'd be able to wear them again. I'm contemplating getting them out and trying them on again, but I'm scared to. I think I'll wait a few more weeks, lol.
My week went really well, I worked out almost every day and I ate healthily most days. My lunches consisted of celery with a little bit of peanut butter and a piece of cheese. Oddly enough, I didn't feel as if I were being deprived or like I was starving. I went out to lunch with my mom today and could only eat half of it. I think I'm getting there. I'm very determined right now and I hope it stays this way. I've been like this before, super determined to do it right, then something happens along the way and I give up or I just grow tired of worrying about what I'm eating or working out. I should remind myself that worrying about that stuff is a lot better than worrying about my health problems and not seeing my kids grow up!!
I can't wait until others begin noticing my weight loss. My husband hasn't said one word about it, but then he sees me every day so probably doesn't notice it.. plus, I don't even think he bothers to look at me. ... It's always nice when others notice and comment on the weight loss. I'm going to become the incredible shrinking fat lady! Speaking of fat lady, I started writing a book. It's something I've wanted to do for awhile, but never taken the time to start it. I don't know how often I'll get to work on it, so it may take years to finish, but I'm going to do it. It's about my life and growing up as the "fat girl". Hopefully, it will have a happy ending with me shedding some major pounds so that I can put a before and after photo at the end! yeah!
I'm still looking for a cheering squad! If anyone else is trying to lose weight or has lost weight, leave me a comment and let me know. Maybe we could start our own little cheering squad to help one another. Come on, I know some of you are out there! Raise your hands!!!!
Showing posts with label obese. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obese. Show all posts
Friday, February 10, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
Pizza Is The Devil
I thought I did pretty good this week. I worked out every day, even twice yesterday because I played Just Dance with my kids last night, too! I had a few slip ups with eating, but I wasn't super worried about it. I wasn't sure if I was going to weigh in this week or if I was going to wait til next week. I decided to weigh myself at like 3am when I went to the bathroom.. and it said I was 5 lbs more than I was last Friday? What the crap?? Only thing I can think of is that I think I forgot to take my BP medication yesterday and it helps me to get rid of any retained water. This is one reason I wasn't sure about weighing in every week. Yes, it gives me something to look forward to and focus on every week, but on weeks like this when the scale goes in the wrong direction, I don't want to get discouraged and give up. I'm not going to though. I still worked out this morning and I really pushed myself!
My biggest saboteur right now is Pizza. It's my favorite food, has been since I was a kid and my mom said she craved pizza when she was pregnant with me. If there is leftover pizza, I have to eat it, knowing that it's out there in the fridge. This is what I need to work on. I'm not going to deprive myself of foods that I love, I just need to learn to not pig out on it. I can have a little of it along with something healthy. I just have to remind myself of that when pizza is around! It's my weakness, hands down.
I got some real inspiration the other day watching the first episode of My 600lb Life on TLC. This first woman weight over 600 lbs and had the gastric bypass surgery and lost over 500 lbs! She had to have a lot of surgeries though to get rid of all of the excess skin. I'm not going to get surgery, but it still inspired me to see someone sooo HUGE down to less than 200 lbs. Can you imagine how different that would feel? To go from a body that is soo uncomfortable you can barely walk, down to a thin body that can do anything? I always thought that I was just a fat person. My mom is heavy, her mom was heavy. It's in our genes, and in our jeans. I kinda just thought it was impossible to lose so much weight and ever be considered thin. I just never thought it was possible for me because I've been big since I was about 5 or 6 years old. It's all I know. I don't want to be the fat girl any more. Even when I lost 45 lbs a few years ago, I still felt fat because I still WAS over weight. It just seems like it would take sooo long to lose it all. When I first started this blog, it was the beginning of 2007. That's when I lost 45 lbs. Now, when I think back, I think, if I had just stuck with it, I would be thin now.
When I watch the Biggest Loser and weight loss shows, it always seems that the person has had some sort of traumatic experience that made them turn to food. I don't think I have something so traumatic that made me like this. I think I was just raised that way. When I was a kid, my mom and I lived on mac and cheese, hot dogs, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and fast food. If something good happened to one of us, we would reward ourselves with food. If we had a bad day, let's order pizza. It's that comforting feeling that food brings to me.. and it's almost as if I don't feel satisfied until my stomach is so stuffed that I can't breathe! How do I stop this?
My biggest saboteur right now is Pizza. It's my favorite food, has been since I was a kid and my mom said she craved pizza when she was pregnant with me. If there is leftover pizza, I have to eat it, knowing that it's out there in the fridge. This is what I need to work on. I'm not going to deprive myself of foods that I love, I just need to learn to not pig out on it. I can have a little of it along with something healthy. I just have to remind myself of that when pizza is around! It's my weakness, hands down.
I got some real inspiration the other day watching the first episode of My 600lb Life on TLC. This first woman weight over 600 lbs and had the gastric bypass surgery and lost over 500 lbs! She had to have a lot of surgeries though to get rid of all of the excess skin. I'm not going to get surgery, but it still inspired me to see someone sooo HUGE down to less than 200 lbs. Can you imagine how different that would feel? To go from a body that is soo uncomfortable you can barely walk, down to a thin body that can do anything? I always thought that I was just a fat person. My mom is heavy, her mom was heavy. It's in our genes, and in our jeans. I kinda just thought it was impossible to lose so much weight and ever be considered thin. I just never thought it was possible for me because I've been big since I was about 5 or 6 years old. It's all I know. I don't want to be the fat girl any more. Even when I lost 45 lbs a few years ago, I still felt fat because I still WAS over weight. It just seems like it would take sooo long to lose it all. When I first started this blog, it was the beginning of 2007. That's when I lost 45 lbs. Now, when I think back, I think, if I had just stuck with it, I would be thin now.
When I watch the Biggest Loser and weight loss shows, it always seems that the person has had some sort of traumatic experience that made them turn to food. I don't think I have something so traumatic that made me like this. I think I was just raised that way. When I was a kid, my mom and I lived on mac and cheese, hot dogs, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and fast food. If something good happened to one of us, we would reward ourselves with food. If we had a bad day, let's order pizza. It's that comforting feeling that food brings to me.. and it's almost as if I don't feel satisfied until my stomach is so stuffed that I can't breathe! How do I stop this?
This is Melissa on GMA standing behind the skirt she once wore. Amazing.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Some new self motivation for losing weight
I've mentioned a few times about wanting to get back into losing weight. I did soooo good when I first started this blog then when my husband and I began having problems again I got out of the routine and gained most of it back! I went to a new doctor the other day and according to THEIR scale I gained it all back PLUS some! In fact, their scale said I've gained 20 lbs just since being at my old doctor a few months ago. My husband had been to this doc a few times and said he thought the scales were off because it was way over what other scales said.. I tend not to believe that I've gained 20 lbs in the last 2-3 months just because my clothing is not any tighter! I've yet to weigh myself at home though.. waiting to do that until tomorrow morning!
My husband and I both got a big eye opener the other day which gave BOTH of us some motivation to get our butts back into gear! A few days ago we spent the day at Lake Erie. First we went to see a lighthouse. Our kids wanted to go up to the top of it. We did, not thinking of HOW we would get up there, lol. Seventy seven steps is what it takes to get up there. 77! At first I thought, ehh, 77 isn't TOO bad. Heh. I got about half way up before I started breathing heavily and my legs felt like they were going to give out underneath of me. I knew I could have stopped to rest but I didn't want to because there were old people in front of us doing better than I was! I'm talking about people in their sixties being in better shape than me! and I'm 3??? I was too embarassed to stop and rest however I realized that I was fine doing it, i didnt pass out or fall over, I still did it! Normally I would have given up but my pride pushed me harder than I would have pushed myself! I did make it though! After the trip to the lighthouse we took the kids to Cedar Point. Cedar Point is a huge amusement park, I think it's one of the biggest in the country, right on Lake Erie. It's only an hour away from us and my husband and I grew up going there just about every summer as a kid. I haven't been there in 14 years though, mostly because it's sooo freakin expensive to go! Plus, I was afraid that I couldn't fit on some of the rides and didn't want to be embarassed in front of people there OR my friends.
We had a lot fun at Cedar Point. It was all for the kids this time though and we spent most of it waiting on them to go on the kiddie rides! Our oldest son was big enough to go on the kiddie coaster so my husband decided to go on it with him. He got on the coaster and the seat belt wouldn't fit! He had to get up with our son in front of everyone and leave, until the woman running the ride had him trade seats with someone else where there was a bigger seat belt to try. Holding up the line and ride, he got into the second seat and the seat belt did fit but just BARELY. The woman running it proceeded to jump up and down and "woohoo" it up, just drawing more attention. I watched from afar with our younger twins, feeling so horrible for my husband, however I do know that he does not get embarassed easily and things that would embarass me don't really embarass him! They DID get to go on the ride but it was a rough start!
That night before going to bed we were talking about what happened and he told me that he was embarassed of it, but yet also pissed off at america.. I mean why do they make seat belts soo short when you can tighten them up?? But anyway, I'm off point now.. he said it was motivating him to want to get in shape and lose some weight. So, we are doing it together. Starting today! Eating healthier and trying to be more active as much as we can. I've done it before so I know I can do it again. We also decided that we are going to do this together so that next year we can go to Cedar Point and ride ALL of the roller coasters without having to worry about being able to fit in the stupid seat! I guess it will be a bit of a fear breaker for me as well as I'm afraid of heights and normally stick to the mild roller coasters. I've always been too scared to try the BIG ones, but if I can lose weight then I want to over come this fear as well AND with my husband! Isn't that good motivation? That's just on TOP of all of the other motivaters I have in my life, especially now that my kids are getting older and more active!
So, that's where I am right now. Back to trying to lose weight. Not trying to DIET, trying to change my habits as this needs to be a life long change! I've gone back on sparkpeople.com (link on my fave websites list over to the right). If anyone is on there feel free to add me as your friend!
Oh and also, I've just enrolled in college! I was taking some online courses for Vet. Technician but I just think hands on classes would be better for me. I start August 31, 3 evenings a week 4 hours each night. Yikes! I'm very nervous about this. Normally I would be worried about going to a class with a bunch of strangers but I'm not even worried about that! I'm worried about TIME and having time to get everything done! As if I'm not busy enough with the kids and working and cleaning.. etc., now add on 12 hours a week of classes PLUS homework!! My oldest son starts school on the 25th so now we will be busier and he will have his own homework to do as well! I already get burned out as it is, I don't know how I'm going to handle all of this but I am going to do my best and hope/pray that my husband helps out more! Soooo, that's where I am! Here are a few pics from the other day at the Lake!
My husband and I both got a big eye opener the other day which gave BOTH of us some motivation to get our butts back into gear! A few days ago we spent the day at Lake Erie. First we went to see a lighthouse. Our kids wanted to go up to the top of it. We did, not thinking of HOW we would get up there, lol. Seventy seven steps is what it takes to get up there. 77! At first I thought, ehh, 77 isn't TOO bad. Heh. I got about half way up before I started breathing heavily and my legs felt like they were going to give out underneath of me. I knew I could have stopped to rest but I didn't want to because there were old people in front of us doing better than I was! I'm talking about people in their sixties being in better shape than me! and I'm 3??? I was too embarassed to stop and rest however I realized that I was fine doing it, i didnt pass out or fall over, I still did it! Normally I would have given up but my pride pushed me harder than I would have pushed myself! I did make it though! After the trip to the lighthouse we took the kids to Cedar Point. Cedar Point is a huge amusement park, I think it's one of the biggest in the country, right on Lake Erie. It's only an hour away from us and my husband and I grew up going there just about every summer as a kid. I haven't been there in 14 years though, mostly because it's sooo freakin expensive to go! Plus, I was afraid that I couldn't fit on some of the rides and didn't want to be embarassed in front of people there OR my friends.
We had a lot fun at Cedar Point. It was all for the kids this time though and we spent most of it waiting on them to go on the kiddie rides! Our oldest son was big enough to go on the kiddie coaster so my husband decided to go on it with him. He got on the coaster and the seat belt wouldn't fit! He had to get up with our son in front of everyone and leave, until the woman running the ride had him trade seats with someone else where there was a bigger seat belt to try. Holding up the line and ride, he got into the second seat and the seat belt did fit but just BARELY. The woman running it proceeded to jump up and down and "woohoo" it up, just drawing more attention. I watched from afar with our younger twins, feeling so horrible for my husband, however I do know that he does not get embarassed easily and things that would embarass me don't really embarass him! They DID get to go on the ride but it was a rough start!
That night before going to bed we were talking about what happened and he told me that he was embarassed of it, but yet also pissed off at america.. I mean why do they make seat belts soo short when you can tighten them up?? But anyway, I'm off point now.. he said it was motivating him to want to get in shape and lose some weight. So, we are doing it together. Starting today! Eating healthier and trying to be more active as much as we can. I've done it before so I know I can do it again. We also decided that we are going to do this together so that next year we can go to Cedar Point and ride ALL of the roller coasters without having to worry about being able to fit in the stupid seat! I guess it will be a bit of a fear breaker for me as well as I'm afraid of heights and normally stick to the mild roller coasters. I've always been too scared to try the BIG ones, but if I can lose weight then I want to over come this fear as well AND with my husband! Isn't that good motivation? That's just on TOP of all of the other motivaters I have in my life, especially now that my kids are getting older and more active!
So, that's where I am right now. Back to trying to lose weight. Not trying to DIET, trying to change my habits as this needs to be a life long change! I've gone back on sparkpeople.com (link on my fave websites list over to the right). If anyone is on there feel free to add me as your friend!
Oh and also, I've just enrolled in college! I was taking some online courses for Vet. Technician but I just think hands on classes would be better for me. I start August 31, 3 evenings a week 4 hours each night. Yikes! I'm very nervous about this. Normally I would be worried about going to a class with a bunch of strangers but I'm not even worried about that! I'm worried about TIME and having time to get everything done! As if I'm not busy enough with the kids and working and cleaning.. etc., now add on 12 hours a week of classes PLUS homework!! My oldest son starts school on the 25th so now we will be busier and he will have his own homework to do as well! I already get burned out as it is, I don't know how I'm going to handle all of this but I am going to do my best and hope/pray that my husband helps out more! Soooo, that's where I am! Here are a few pics from the other day at the Lake!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Some updates and memory lane!
I was sitting here trying to decide what my next post should be about. I began thinking about this blog and how it all got started. I realized that I've had this blog up and running for 2 1/2 years now, started in February of 2007! Originally it was supposed to be about my weight loss, which it was for the first year or so. I did lose some weight a long the way and think this blog helped me a lot!
I was sifting through some of my very first posts and wow it brought back some memories! I thought it would be fun to share them with some of my newer readers who may not have read them!
This one is my very first post telling a bit about myself and the blog: Who Am I?
These are a few of my favorites articles that I wrote in the beginning and am excited to have some of you read them again!
Being The Fat Girl
Eat To Live Don't Live To Eat
Last year, I turned over a new leaf with the blog and sort of switched more into talking about my depression. I wanted to cover a bit of everything; my fight with depression, information on depression and other mental illnesses AND weight loss!
Weight loss has been an on going struggle for me since I was a kid! I'm still struggling with it. I've gained some of the weight back that I lost. It's the one thing that I absolutely hate about myself and feel that I can not control! I don't want to be the fat mom, I don't want to end up like MY mom who has problems walking now because she has literally no knee left in her leg because of her weight.
I'm trying to start over with the weight loss. I hate calling it a diet! I'm not going to do anything drastic, just start eating healthier foods and controlling my portions of the "bad" foods. Also, want to try to get more exercise again. A friend of mine is trying to set up a weight loss support group, so I am very excited about that! I have to do something, I have to save my life! My husband has a lot of health problems stemming from his eating habits. He knows that he has to eat better and lose weight however he just talks about it but never does it. We both have to change our eating habits and be healthier for our kids and each other so we can grow old together!
Sooo, this blog will be a bit about both weight loss and depression/mental health as I believe that they can both go hand in hand. I believe the better mental health you are in, the more willing you will be to treat your body better!
Also, next month I'm starting a new blog! Yes, I've been itching to start something new (as if I'm not busy enough, right??). This one is going to be a personal blog, where I will post more personal things going on in my life, my family, my job, my friends..etc. It's going to be raw and opinionated and hey, I might even throw in a few curse words here and there! I'm not going to worry about how much readership I have or any of that, it's just going to be my own personal blog to vent in or share things in that I don't normally share in my other blogs. I'm sure I will post lots of pics and lots of random things. Once I get it up and running I will post a link here in case anyone may be interested!
I was sifting through some of my very first posts and wow it brought back some memories! I thought it would be fun to share them with some of my newer readers who may not have read them!
This one is my very first post telling a bit about myself and the blog: Who Am I?
These are a few of my favorites articles that I wrote in the beginning and am excited to have some of you read them again!
Being The Fat Girl
Eat To Live Don't Live To Eat
Last year, I turned over a new leaf with the blog and sort of switched more into talking about my depression. I wanted to cover a bit of everything; my fight with depression, information on depression and other mental illnesses AND weight loss!
Weight loss has been an on going struggle for me since I was a kid! I'm still struggling with it. I've gained some of the weight back that I lost. It's the one thing that I absolutely hate about myself and feel that I can not control! I don't want to be the fat mom, I don't want to end up like MY mom who has problems walking now because she has literally no knee left in her leg because of her weight.
I'm trying to start over with the weight loss. I hate calling it a diet! I'm not going to do anything drastic, just start eating healthier foods and controlling my portions of the "bad" foods. Also, want to try to get more exercise again. A friend of mine is trying to set up a weight loss support group, so I am very excited about that! I have to do something, I have to save my life! My husband has a lot of health problems stemming from his eating habits. He knows that he has to eat better and lose weight however he just talks about it but never does it. We both have to change our eating habits and be healthier for our kids and each other so we can grow old together!
Sooo, this blog will be a bit about both weight loss and depression/mental health as I believe that they can both go hand in hand. I believe the better mental health you are in, the more willing you will be to treat your body better!
Also, next month I'm starting a new blog! Yes, I've been itching to start something new (as if I'm not busy enough, right??). This one is going to be a personal blog, where I will post more personal things going on in my life, my family, my job, my friends..etc. It's going to be raw and opinionated and hey, I might even throw in a few curse words here and there! I'm not going to worry about how much readership I have or any of that, it's just going to be my own personal blog to vent in or share things in that I don't normally share in my other blogs. I'm sure I will post lots of pics and lots of random things. Once I get it up and running I will post a link here in case anyone may be interested!
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