A Dog's Eye: Trust without borders

It's truly surprising how busy you can get when you lose your job. Nearly six weeks ago now, my position at work was made redundant due to restructuring, and my employment was terminated; effective immediately. Contracted until June 2022, we (my wife and I) planned to leave Darwin to return to Wollongong to be close to my family. My redundancy was simply God changing our timetable, and demonstrating his goodness, yet again. Had I stayed on and left work on my own terms, I would have walked away with nothing. Being made redundant meant that I walked away with a tidy payout which has provided a financial buffer for us as we wade into a deep ocean of uncertainty.

Financial buffers and the security of permanent full time employment is exactly what God is calling me out from. He wants me to get out of that boat and walk on the water with my eyes on Jesus. Clearly, another watershed moment in my life, losing my job has given me a chance to do something new. To stretch my faith and change direction. 

Since I was gifted that old 486 computer in 1998 and I wrote the manuscript for the never published What's Your Problem?, I have dreamed of earning a living by writing. I've never had the time to go hard at that dream. I was never willing to leave my wife and children struggling with the consequences of my artistic pursuits. I had to be an ox, not a unicorn.

Over the years, I've had six novels published, as well as a collection of short stories and scores of short stories published online and in print. I've made some pocket money and received a huge amount of satisfaction, but always lurking, ever present, was the dream to work full time as a writer. I've decided to take this opportunity to do that, to chase it like I've never chased it before.

We didn't decide to leave Darwin immediately. We chose to wait a few weeks to let the dust settle and then make a call. I felt we needed to time to pray and properly consider our options. Ironically, my wife felt more strongly, at first, that we should go than I did. Fast forward five weeks and I'm now the gung ho one, certain the time is right. My wife, who has built a tremendously successful hairdressing and beauty business in only six months, is having a few sleepless nights though. She'll be able to rebuild her client base in our new location because she's great at what she does, but the thought of moving, of starting all over again is understandably daunting.

'Daunting' doesn't quite reach far enough to describe the thought of moving to another state with nowhere to live and no job. We are applying for rentals in the area, but we will need divine intervention to overcome the fact that neither of us have jobs. How will we pay the rent? Until we find a place, we'll stay with mum. Our rent will be at least $50 higher than we're paying here, maybe as much as $150 more. My wife has no clients. I have no job. It seems like a bad situation, but we have absolute trust in a good God.

My whole life is a testimony to God's faithfulness, but especially over the last few years, we've seen God do great things for us. Even our meeting on eHarmony in the first place had God's fingerprints all over it.

One week from today we will be having breakfast, preparing for our road trip to Wollongong. The furniture and most of our possessions will have been loaded in to the back of an Allied Pickford Container the day before. After we leave, the cleaners will come in. I've compiled some awesome road trip playlists on Spotify and upgraded myself to Premium so we can enjoy the songs without interruption. Packing is under way. We've bought sleeping bags and a gas cooker for the trip. The car has had a full service. It's all happening.

My wife has continued working, and around her schedule we've fit in a number of farewell dinners with our many friends in Darwin. We're now doing an number of things for the last time. We ate dinner and watched the sunset at Mindil Beach Night market. Attended mass at St.Mary's. Over the Fence, the radio show I did on Monday nights with my good mate Trev, has broadcast for the final time. As I drive around, I can feel myself disconnecting. There's a tinge of sadness, but mostly what I feel is excitement.

My friend Mark, has given me some casual work in his office and I've scored a couple of freelance writing jobs, so things have been ticking along, but leaving the security of full time paid employment, a regular paycheck, is both exciting and scary. It's a new chapter and we are ready to answer God's call to walk out on the water where our trust is without borders.

Stay tuned for a special Road Trip series on Square Pegs. I'll no doubt have plenty to share about this eight day, four state, 4300km trip, not the least interesting part of which will be how my wife and daughter deal with all those hours on the road; especially camping. We're all pretty pumped right now.

Snake Oil: Loose with the truth

Facebook posts ads on our walls based on our previous searches, likes and other interactions. I get a lot of advertising for flights and holidays because I've traveled quite a lot over the past couple of years. Jetstar has frequent sales and they target me for trips to Vietnam. The advertised prices are ridiculously low, and as it always turns out, the flights are only available on a very limited number of specific days...or perhaps not at all, as I've discovered sometimes.

I do online surveys, and have done for some time. I earn points and redeem the points for Paypal dollars with which I buy books. It's a sweet little pocket money generator. Facebook started hitting me with ads for another online survey mob called Surveyworld. The thing is they didn't advertise themselves as an online survey company. They were looking for males in my age group to test products. (Wow! How did they know my age?) I clicked the link and was forced to join an online survey company. There was nothing on their website or in the flood of emails which followed about product testing.When I could not unsubscribe, I had to block the address.

A final example involves an immigration agency which advertised free consultations with their lawyers. It was free until they actually connected me to a lawyer and then they dropped the fee on me. I declined and told them their advertising was dishonest.

Having won the lucrative broadcasting rights from Channel 9, Channel 7 has boasted of being Australia's home of cricket. Australia's old home of cricket-the only one I'd ever known- used to show all the international cricket matches in the Australian domestic season. The new home of cricket only shows test matches. It also purports to be the home of the very popular big bash T20 league (now in its ninth series), but it doesn't show all the games. This is advertising; the false or only partially true claims of those trying to sell us something.

Television programs are always promising the best of everything;

the scariest, the funniest, the most exciting or entertaining. The word 'ever' has suffered a thousand deaths and still suffers abuse as a zombie adverb.

That advertisers and television promoters at best exaggerate and at worst lie about what they are offering is a given. We know that. However, people are loose with the truth as well, and sadly we expect that now. We hope people tell the truth but often suspect they aren't.

Is it any wonder that truth is now so flexible? So situational? So relative? Why are we surprised by this prevailing lack of honesty when we are surrounded by lies in the media, both the terminally ill traditional media, and surging social media. Most thinking people have a default doubt setting nowadays.

I rang the ATO to tell them I had mistakenly received thousands of dollars. They were shocked and promised to investigate. Nearly four months down the track nothing has happened. The same government department took money off me every fortnight for nine months before admitting the error and assuring me they would return my money within four weeks. That was in November. Guess what? I'm still waiting. When I switched to Dodo mobile they promised me 'all systems go' no more than three days after I activated my SIM. Two weeks later, I finally had a fully operational handset.

I could go on with many more examples, but I trust I've made my point. I want to be believe everyone who tells me something, but I can't. I want my default setting to be trust, but I know that will likely only hurt me.

It's very sad that the concept of relative truth is so entrenched in our thinking. In the 21st century, most people echo Pontius Pilate's famous 1st century words. On the day he was crucified, Jesus challenged Pilate to accept the truth of what he was saying and who he was. Pilate's answer: "What is truth?"

Well? What's your answer?

A Dog's Eye: Vietnam part 3 (faith in elephants)

Every now and then the elephant driver would appear to get a little frustrated with the beast beneath him. He was sitting on the elephant's neck, one leg on each side with his knees cocked behind the pachyderm's huge ears. When it slowed down or stopped, the driver would bounce on its neck and nudge it behind the ears while repeating some words of "encouragement".

I was with my mother and my daughter on the elephant. We sat in a relatively comfortable howdah with an umbrella to protect us from the sun. I was not worried about this journey even though I didn't know where we were going and how long exactly we would be gone. The other two passengers were far less sanguine. We traveled down a road through a lakeside village, in Vietnam's central highlands, and then entered the lake down a steep "ramp". Occasionally, the water was up to the elephant's shoulders which left our feet just above the water line.


We wore life jackets in case of an accident, and I'll admit there were a couple of times when I thought we might be having an unplanned swim. After roughly half an hour we finished our ride and climbed down on to solid ground, connected to it by the security of our own feet.

It required an element of faith for us to ride this mighty creature. We had to believe that it would behave itself, and if it didn't, that the driver would be able to control it. Being a visitor in an overseas nation, and being able to enjoy that experience also requires some faith. Control ebbs away under the direction of locals who, despite some language obstacles, we trust. In our case, my wife was in complete control and what a champion she was. She did an amazing job of organizing things for us and protecting us from being ripped off. It was relatively easy to trust her. I mean I married her, so...

Nevertheless, there is a sense in which having to trust others makes us feel uncomfortable. Allowing others to make decisions for us, takes away our power, it violates our independence. For some people, the land of interdependence is a foreign country they have never visited- nor do they wish to. Taking risks with their safety based solely on the assurances of others is anathema to them.

How much is lost to a person who allows fear and/or a desire to stay in control rule their lives?

Trust #atozchallenge

"In Angus’ mind these furtive afternoon meetings were the beginnings of an illicit affair, the foundation stones of trust and familiarity which would enable them to participate in a very risky and immoral game. Afrooz did nothing in the early weeks to discourage this thinking. In fact, in the evenings after their afternoon rendezvous, they would chat on Facebook. These chats started very innocently, but in time, and on several occasions, when they were both alone in front of their respective computers, their chatting became flirtatious. Angus remembered one time when he and Afrooz pretended to be neighbours and he went to see her to ask for some sugar.

            Hello Neighbour.

            Hi. Lovely day today.

            Yes. I need to borrow some sugar please.

Okay. Come in.

Let me see. I have to reach up here to get it.

Can I help you?

Yes. Come and help me. (wink)

Is that better? (smiley face)

Closer.

Like this.

That’s good. (smiley face)

Ah, I’ve got it now. Thank you. Here you go.

That’s enough thanks.

Have some more. I want to give you more. (wink)

I want some more.(wink)

Here you go. Oops, I dropped it. I’ll have to bend over to pick it up.

Okay.

Are you looking at my ass? (wink)

Yes, is that okay?(wink)

You didn’t really come here for sugar did you? (wink)

No. (smiley face)"

Lovesick chapter 1

Ah such irony, from our beloved anti-hero Angus. He speaks of establishing trust with a married woman whilst destroying the trust his wife has placed in him. Trust is a funny thing.

It’s automatic in children, a natural outworking of the bond which develops between them and their parents and carers. As they grow, particularly when they begin school, they are taught selective trust. Strangers are not to be trusted whereas police officers are. They also absorb attitudes of trust, and are progressively more trusting as they become increasingly independent. Trust only transforms into an issue when it is breached. The lesson learned, reinforces the selective trust concept, by confirming that some people can be trusted and some can’t.

Sometimes our mistrust is warranted, such as when someone has betrayed our trust. When I was fifteen I told my parents I was staying at a friend’s house and would not be going out. I went out, and the first they knew of it was when the police called to say I had been found in possession of a stolen car. One of the consequences of my breach of trust was that I was grounded for several months. I was no longer trusted to do anything other than go to school and come home again.

At other times, we don’t trust people simply because people we do trust have told us not to. There also occasions when something inside us warns us not to trust. On occasion we decided to trust someone even when we have doubts, and the results are mixed.

One of the X-Files catch phrases was ‘trust no one.’ While that reeks of paranoia, it is certainly true that we cannot trust everyone, and even those in whom we do place our trust may let us down. To borrow from the Old Bard: to trust or not trust, that is the question.

I have become less trusting over the years which in some ways is a good thing. On the other hand it makes me a little sad to think we live in a world where trust can be such a rare and precious commodity.

How Low Can We Go?

I discovered an unknown direct debit coming out of my wife's bank account so I called the bank to check it out but they wouldn't talk to me because I am not the account holder. I explained the problem knowing full well that the person to whom I was speaking would probably not help me. I was right. Even on a hypothetical question, this guy stuck to the company line. I called a second time and spoke to someone else who was more helpful although likewise unwilling to actually do anything. Customer service person number one even threatened me by mentioning the law and the fact that if he knew the account number and password, he would put a stop on the account to prevent me accessing my wife's information.

I understand the rationale behind this policy. Stringent privacy provisions are needed to protect people. I might be trying to steal from my wife, or gain some advantage over her by accessing her financial details. I could be doing something wrong and potentially harmful to her. The person on the phone doesn't know me from a bar of soap. Just because I say that I have my wife's permission to access her account, doesn't mean, from their point of view, that I do.

Because some people lie, everyone is a potential liar. This is the world we live in. The default position is mistrust. My word counts for nothing with strangers because of all the people who can't be believed. Honesty surprises us because dishonesty has become so acceptable. We all say tsk tsk, what a shame, most people are good but the few rotten apples spoil the basket. The problem is that we are all living under the rules and regulations foisted upon us by those trying to protect us from the rotten apples. A worse problem is that we are all rotten apples but we keep pretending we are not. We tell ourselves we are the good guys and we sit around lamenting the tragic decline of standards in our communities but we have contributed to that degeneration, either by our actions or our inaction.

Imagine a world where people could trust each other. No need to lock the car or the house. People would be respectful and polite. No one would be self serving. Our teenagers wouldn't be having sex and getting drunk, and killing themselves by driving their cars too fast. No one would be trying to rip anybody off. Money wouldn't dictate what can be done and what can't be done.

If you think all this sounds too fanciful, too utopian, if you want to call me an idealist then go ahead but know this: such criticism implies that you have given up and accepted the new norm, the new low standards. If you are willing to keep on lowering the bar just to keep people happy, consider the end result of such thinking. Consider the future we are heading for if this slide continues. Everyone else is doing it, is not a statement of tolerance, it's an admission of weakness and defeat. We should keep fighting.