Original Science Fair Project Ideas That Will Change the WORLD

My daughter’s school science fair is coming up soon. In fact, she just told my wife and I tonight that it’s happening next week.

After a robust and at times heated discussion about exactly how long has she known this information, my daughter and wife started listing a bunch of possible project ideas around simple scientific topics such as butterflies, volcano’s, mold, bugs, heat, cold, etc. to which I answered to all of them – boring.

Kids have been using those science fair topics for thousands of years ever since that one episode of “The Brady Bunch” where Bobby made that volcano explode in the backyard.

Oh Bobby.

I think my daughter should choose a topic with real groundbreaking information that will change the course of humankind and the world, forever. Something of real value and not something dull like the stages of an egg or the growing of mushrooms. As long as it ends up in an omelet nobody really cares.

Some innovative ideas of value:

What is the effect of Lionel Richie’s Mustache on Women?
Hypothesis – Scientists and mathematicians have been trying to figure this out for years – is the mustache the secret to Lionel's success and the ladies affection just as it is for Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds? Enquiring minds want to know.

Experiment – Make Lionel shave and then sing “Hello.”

Early Conclusion – I’ve just given this topic a little more thought and think I’ve figured out the answer: The blind woman that sculpted his head in clay INCLUDED the mustache.

Answer: Huge affect

How many licks to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
Hypothesis – Was Mr. Owl right?

Experiment – Make a run to the nearest 7-11 and test it out.

Conclusion (hindered) – Find somebody that actually likes Tootsie Pops or maybe substitute with something better like Chewy Sprees or Popcorn Chicken from KFC.

Why do you have to be so delicious?

Does a visit to Chuck E. Cheese affect a Child’s probability to become a compulsive gambler later in life?
Hypothesis – Children walk around Chuck’s with coin-filled cups mesmerized by flashing lights, high-pitched sounding machines dropping hundreds of coins into them, losing all sense of time, while given access to all-you-can drink fountain beverages, horrible food and awful musical entertainment. Is Chuck’s really a training ground for slot hogs?

Experiment – Reconnaissance work:

Carpets that smell like cigarettes, vomit, tears, and urine

Entertainment: Chuck’s Band

Celine Dion

Conclusion – Yes

Last Minute Mother’s Day Ideas!

I asked my daughter what she wanted do for my wife this year for Mother’s Day and she immediately answered with:

“Go shopping to buy me an Ariel dress! And maybe mommy can get one too.”

We did something a little different this year; she’s been practicing her “Pegasus unicorn running into a rainbow” art for a few weeks, maybe months, now so I had one of the better ones put on a shirt from this place (poloppo.com)

It's pretty awesome. (What’s even more awesome is a discount code “dads25”.)
When we got it in the mail my daughter instantly requested one for herself and her friends at school as they've starting a Pegasus Unicorn Team now - it's an alternative to the Dragon Team the boys at school have started.

We’ve also been contemplating what else my daughter wants to make for Mother's Day. Maybe some cool and funny Mother’s Day themed snack from a recipe off this site (link), or one of these interesting cards (link.) I’m sure we’ll come up with something once I suspiciously tell my wife to go get a pedicure or go on a trip to the nearby KFC on Saturday so we can make anything.

We'll see...

But for those looking for a last-minute idea on what to get your wife or mom on Sunday AND really impress her, there’s always my famous flower bunch toting Lionel Richie printable with complementary Lionel Richie paper craft sculpture:

"You're once, Twice, Three Times A Lady. Happy Mother's Day!"

Lionel Richie Paper craft toy

Because really, nothing says Happy Mother’s Day quite like “You’re Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady” from Lionel.

When The Kids’ Halloween Costume Cost More Than My First Car, Something Is Seriously Wrong

When I was a kid (what seems like 80 years ago…) there were two ways to get a Halloween costume:

1. Made it the day of Halloween with “stuff” laying around the house, like boxes, old clothes; maybe modify new ones, and then had a simple idea like “a lamp” or “a ghost with a baseball bat.”

2. Went down to the local grocery market and bought one of those “fancy” $3.99 flammable lead costumes that came in a cereal-type box with a view window of a creepy flimsy plastic mask and a plastic jumpsuit (that went over your clothes) with a picture of GI Joe or a Care Bear jumping out of an airplane with a rocket launcher.

Actually there was the 3rd option: not dressing up at all.

A friend at work went out and bought her 5-year old daughter a Cinderella costume during lunch -- Total cost $128.

“What? Is she going to the Prom!?!?” I asked

The costumes these days don’t come with everything. The dress was around $50-60, but then there are the shoes, wand (she didn’t have one in the movie – I checked), gloves, purse (she didn’t have that either, maybe she left it in the coach) and tiara. She didn’t get the wig, because in her opinion “that was going too far.”
Isn't that kind of like eating an entire chocolate cake and then ordering a diet coke? I think ‘too far’ was spending $50 on a dress to get candy for 2 hours.

With my own daughter, I'm hoping on training her to think creatively (and economically) about her costumes rather than going out and buying one. So here are my kid costumes ideas with an emphasis on “cheap”-

Kids Costumes Ideas: Cheap and Simple
1. A giant box. Maybe address it to “My Real Mom and Dad”
2. Roll in the mud and go as a Pig
3. If they have long hair: Roll in the mud and go as “The Predator”
4. Global Warming Melting Glacier. Wear all white and pee in pants. Maybe borrow a toy penguin and put a sad face on it.
5. Wrap in tin foil and go as leftovers

Any more suggestions?

My wife has just informed me that my daughter wants a Sleeping Beauty ("BEEPing Booty" she calls her) dress. I think my wallet just screamed in pain...!
Things were so much easier when we just bought her a pumpkin costume on clearance. I wonder if she'll go for my suggestion of being Cinderella's pumpkin instead...?