hey....

Happy New Year everyone.....

thanks for bringing some laughter into my 07'

Not gonna shout anyone out.....but just know:

Love Ya All....

Them....

mom snaps pictures
pop jams old grooves
daughter smiles wide
tis the reason

The Grateful List

im grateful for:

-the Creator, giving me another day of life. continue to bless me, my family and friends.
-Cookie, for being my daughter. i finally got to see her play....im so PROUD!
-the holiday season....its almost OVER!!!
-my Zune, Copa's Toy, helping get me through the holiday season!
-being able to enjoy another holiday.
-friends....for being MY friends and introducing me to new music!
-the mid 80's and the Minneapolis music sound.....Prince, The Time, Sheila E, Vanity 6, Morris Day, Jesse Johnson, The Family & Mazarati!!
-crazy video's of big girls dancing....not hating...but WOW!
-the Zune Card, letting others know what i listen too.
-all of you for reading my post....THANK YOU
-the Creator, blessings seen and unseen. prayers granted and those not...YOU know whats best for me.

onelove

-Everyone have a safe and enjoyable holiday....

Do You Remember.....

Troop!!!

The Grateful List

im grateful for:

-the Creator allowing me to have another day to enjoy LIFE.

-the babies....always for the babies....who will always be the babies not matter their age.

-mom and pop for their patience.

-the people who REALLY get me....and love me anyway.

-strength, courage, wisdom and faith.....gotta have ALL three these days.

-the FUNK taking me back to the days of my youth.

-the love of family and friends.....where would i be without it.

-customers that make me remember there are good people out there

-UGK, their music wasnt positive by i still enjoyed it.....RIP Pimp C!!

-once again for ALL of YOU taking the time to read these words.....thank you.

-the Creator....for prayers granted and those not. for all blessings seen and those unseen. for keeping me steady even as my faith wavered. YOU know whats best for me.

onelove.

ps....earlier this year, i mentioned the chance to work for another company but something about it just didnt sit right with me. well, that company closed ALL of its stores here in St.Louis. glad i followed my gut!!

Music Monday: The Funk!

The late seventies and early eighties, gave up the FUNK! it produced some of the hottest music america has ever seen. grooves that 'sho nuff made your body move'.....disco was on its way out, this was the time of the MOTHERSHIP CONNECTION, Michael Jackson was still black, Reagan hadnt messed it up for black folks and crack hadnt made our neighborhoods 'war zones'.....

this was the time of sitting on your stoop, listening to the radio while playing football (for the boys) or double dutch (for the girl). running after the ice cream man or going to the neighbors house to get a pop....cause someone always sold candy out the side door! and who needed a swimming pool, when the fire hydrant got you just as wet!!

did someone say Colt 45 or King Cobra? Jet magazine and the beauty of the week PLASTERED on the walls of my room! sorry...got carried away.

then there was the Budweiser Superfest, five hours of pure heat, where the who's who of urban music hit the stage! this was for the grown ups (we kids got the Fresh Fest later). Earth, Wind and Fire, Frankie Beverly and Maze, Patti LaBelle, Lakeside, Phyllis Hyman, the Ojay's....and many others. they dont have tours like the Budweiser Superfest anymore....and thats sad.

with all that said, i wanna drop my top 5 favorite FUNK BANDS! bands as in....those who people who actually played instruments! Those BANDS who's music can still turn a family reunion out...well at lest for those 45-35,lol.....aight, here goes

1. Parliament/Funkadelic - pick a song, any song and see if it doesnt move you.
2. Cameo - Rigor Mortis was just nasty.
3. the Gap Band - took the funk of Parliament/Funkadelic and ran with it!
4. Lakeside - Fantastic Voyage is a funk classic!
5. The Stone City Players - Rick James' background band just because they played with Rick.

those were the days of REAL GROUPS that played REAL MUSIC. got any bands/persons you wanna add?

pass this one on to your blogger friends....to see what answers others come up with!

damn!!

Mizzou lost to O.U.

I shall try to be strong!

the grateful list

im grateful for:

the Creator - another day to enjoy the most beautiful piece of poetry ever created, LIFE. i stand a believer in YOU. even when my actions say otherwise.

Cookie - seeing your growth from the womb to now....amazing. flesh of my flesh, i see so much of ME in you.

Papi - the memories allow me to keep the faith and hope for redemption. what ya say Kim.......g.o.d.s.

the Elders (living & ascended) - all advice giving during this life journey. i remain a student until becoming one with the dust.

Peace - inside...even when surrounded by negativity.

Faith - those that have it in me....even after i have let them down. Thank You.

Love - given and received, unconditionally without limitations.

the Car - everthing happens for a reason. bucket or not......i ride!!

phone conversations - that make you laugh enough to forget the pain. even if its for a minute.

you - taking the time to read this words.

the Creator - blessings seen and unseen. prayers granted and those not. the Creator knows whats best for me. THANK YOU.

onelove

i am blessed

i finally got a car!!!

after weeks of waiting, i finally got a car. its not the 98 Monte Carlo i wanted but its a car. its a white, four door, 88 Dodge Dynasty with a new transmission. only three windows work but with winter here, im not worried about that.....cause the HEAT works just fiiiiiiiiine!! there is a cassette deck in the radio BUT the lighter works, that means i can play the Zune through the radio!

i think the Creator used this car to knock me down a couple of pegs. when it appeared i was getting the Monte Carlo, i had dreams of rims, tinted windows, a sound system and styling. when i really should have been focused on getting to work, getting to school and having the chance to spend time with my daughter (i will be able to either take or get her from school). instead of being grateful, i sulked.

now i see the car as the blessing it really is. i know that trouble would have found me with that Monte Carlo.....i KNOW it wont find me with an 88 Dodge Dynasty! im going to take this blessing and roll it till the wheels fall off or i get something better. and even then, im still gonna keep the car....just in case!!

i am grateful to the Creator for granting my prayer.

now, i gotta deal with gas, insurance and road rage.....i feel some new poems coming on....lol.

onelove

Grateful List (Turkey Day Edition)

im grateful for:

-everyday givin to me is a blessing, thanks to the Creator for giving them to me!

-Grandma and Grandpa, your family continues growing. we are YOUR living testiment. THANKS for GIVING us LIFE.

-she is going to continue playing basketball. dats my babygirl!

-life, laughes, liberty and freeloading....so sad. Mom & Pop, thanks for putting up with me

-spending Turkey Day with family who didnt give up on me!

-glad you are enjoying the LA Banks Vampire series BUT...you werent suppose to pass me!

-seeing an old classmate....both being thankful for the O in front of the G!

-everyone that has passed through my life adding on to the Life Lessons.

-laughin about the shoplifters that got away....did i mention one lost his shoe getting away?

-you, and you, and you too, you who should be working, you sitting at home and you, the angel on my shoulder....for helping keep me sane.

-the family and friends watching over me from above. it aint the same without you....i miss and love you all.

-poets and their poetry....bringing light to the darkness of the world with their words.

-knowing that im a little off and being ok with it

-two post on the same day....im getting good!

-blessings seen and unseen, those granted and those not....the Creator knows whats best for me.


HAVE A HAPPY AND SAFE THANKSGIVING. LOVE YA'LL.

Music Monday (wed edition)

Hip Hop/Rap getting play on my Zune

Playing CD to Def:
1. Jay-Z - American Gangster
2. Mos Def - Mos Definite
3. The Roots - Best Of
4. DJ Khaled - We The Best
5. Lupe Fiasco - Fahrenheight 1/15: It Was Written, The Best of the Mixtapes

Feeling The Song:
1. Freeway f Jay- Z - Roc-A-Fella Billionaires
2. Lupe Fiasco - Dumb It Down
3. DJ Jazzy Jeff f Jean Grae - Supa Jean
4. Jay-Z f Lil Wayne - Hello Brooklyn
5. Mos Def f Ludacris - Jump Off

Da Weekend

this past weekend was aight;

Friday:
Saw my babygirl....chilled with her and her mother. talked about Courtney not quitting the basketball team just because the 'other girls' talk down to her. told her to toughen up because thats going to happen a LOT in the real world. just keep at it and get them to respect you by out performinging them. its my baby's first time playing basketball and i know she doesnt really want to do it but i just want her to do ONE season. after that, she doesnt have to.

Saturday:
Didnt do a thing. i was off from work, so i tried to sleep the day away. i didnt care if the weather was nice...i wanted to sleep. alas, im a football junkie, there was a couple of games i wanted to watch. enjoyed seeing Mizzou (University of Missouri) take it to Kansas State, on the road, setting up a showdown next weekend with the University of Kansas. the roar is back in Columbia....GO TIGERS! Ohio State beat Michigan...which brought me down from the high of the Mizzou game. its not that i hate Ohio State (unlike the New England Patriots), i just like Michigan...im just glad Michigan didnt let those earlier season losses get them down.

Sunday:
Work day.....a long work day! the store is open from 11-7, i hate it! so we open up, it hasnt been a good forty-five minutes.....we got a shoplifter! this fool goes into the mens dressing room and stuffs two shirts down his pants. how do i know? i hear him taking the sensors off the clothes....i watch him under the door NOT trying on one item! so, i play it cool, ask to see the choices he made, notice that TWO different shirts have TWO hangers in them, hmmmmm. me being the 'not wanting to see another African-American male locked up' ask the dude to take the shirts out of his pants, leave the store and not come back. well, he complies BUT the L.P. (loss pervention) person on duty wants to flex. he wants to get the guys info, ban him from the MALL and have the police take the guys picture...WHAT HE DO THAT FOR?! The dude takes off running out of the store to his car with the LP guy and myself hot on his heels. the guy jumps into his car....i back up...but the LP guy goes up to the window!

Now, having been around some criminals in my day, i know NOT to roll up on someone sitting in a car!! im yelling at the LP guy to get away from the window....but he continues to stand their talking to the police. ME, i get the plate numbers and back away from the car...just in case something HOT comes flying out the window. the guy darts off like he late for Sunday dinner with Jesus! he gets away, we get the items back and spend the rest of the day laughing about how it was too early in the morning for that to happen. oh yea, did i meantion that was the SECOND shoplifter we chased within a week? Tis the season.


onelove

Late Grateful List (quick Version)

the Creator - giving me another day
Courtney - smiles and hugs
Mom - checkin on me
Friends - shoulders to lean on
Poetry - new words Written
Limewire - unknown music
Anthony Hamilton - touchin the Soul
Work - i still got a job
Shoplifters - damn, im outta shape
Faith - still very Strong
YOU - for reading
the Creator - prays granted and ungranted

ONELOVE

Music Monday

How does one know when they are old? When their favorite artist start releasing greates hits cd's!

Ok, so now your favorite artist has dropped a greatest hits cd, and even though you ALREADY have ALL the songs, you purchase it anyway. Then as you listen to it, you wonder; 'what about THAT song or THIS song' or 'why the HELL is THAT song on here'. whats a fan to do....make their OWN greatest hits cd of their favorite artist. back in the day, we copied from the album or tape to another, which too a looooong time. but these days....its a lost easier. the music is already on our computers....so its just drag, drop and burn. three minutes at the most.

i type all this to present my top 10 greatest hits cd's getting play in the Zune:

1. 2 Pac - His early work was his best.
2. Prince - His HITS cannot be captured with just TWO cd's
3. Donny Hathaway - Marvin Gaye got all the limelight but Donny was the better singer of the two.
4. Public Enemy - Funny that the shit P.E. was talking about 10 years ago is still on point today!
5. Aretha Franklin - younger Aretha with SOUL was HOT.
6. Marvin Gaye - his earlier work was good (the songs with Tammy Terrell FIYAH)but Whats Going On was his GREATEST work to me.
7. Creed - the power and the message of their music drew me to them. hate they broke up.
8. Bob Marley - Cant help but dig the Messenger.
9. The Time - they dont have an OFFICIAL greatest hits cd...so i MADE one!
10. Michael Jackson - do i REALLY need to explain?

Those that get play top 5:
1. Luther Vandross - as if he wouldnt be here.
2. The Jacksons - Afro's and bell bottoms to curls and leather pants!
3. Aerosmith - gotta love them!
4. Run DMC - still makes me wanna party!
5. The Temptations - just smooooooooth.

What are YOUR favorite greatest hits cd's?

Grateful List (late edition)

the Creator - allowing me another day to enjoy the beauty of LIFE and all it has to offer.

Cookie - making me laugh and reminding me of the drama of being a teenager. her being on the basketball team....YAY!

Her Mom - trying to help me get the car and telling me not to stress about my son. just give it to the Creator.

Big Sis - thanks for sharing AND the kick in the azz. dont know about that ten a day thing.

Poetry - Letting the words of the mind bring the pen to life. i completed a piece, i think. more to come.

Neee Oooo - how happy everyone is again. thank the Creator!

Music - i have discovered some nice new artist (peep two post down)

Faith - still no car BUT everything happens for a reason. maybe its not my time.

The Fellas - blogging again. good to see a post dated in 07.

You - thanks for taking the time to read these words.

the Creator - blessings seen and unseen. prayers granted and those not granted. the Creator KNOWS whats best for me.

DAT WHATS UP!!

i love my poetic sisters who have been holding me down....but:

MY POETIC BROTHERS ARE BACK BLOGGIN!

JOE B

B FRAN

WELCOME BACK!!

Music Monday

Whats getting play on my Zune

Playing CD to Def:
1. Jill Scott - The Real Thing
2. Talib Kweli - Ear Drum
3. Saul Williams - the Inevitable Rise and Liberation of NiggyTardust
4. Raul Midon - A World Within A World
5. Erykah Badu - Live

Getting to Know the CD:
1. Kevin Michael - Kevin Michael
2. Emily King - East Side Story
3. Amir Sulaiman - Dead Man Walking
4. April Hill - Love in 360
5. Rahsaan Patterson - Wine and Spirits

Feeling The Song:
1. Kevin Michael - Vicki Secrets
2. Joy Denalane f Lupe Fiasco - Change
3. Saul Williams - Raw
4. Keite Young - Pressure
5. Kendra Ross f Eric Roberson - Why Cant I See

ps...Joy Denanlane is being slept on...peep her videos for 'Change' and 'Let Go' on youtube....both songs are hot!

My Grateful List

im grateful for:

the Creator - allowing me another day to walk in the sunshine of life

the daughter - going out for basketball! i hope she likes it.

the man - that i would be proud to call 'Father', getting his strength back to travel. go head 'pops'!

the faith - knowing that i WILL see 'lil man' again.

the pictures - attempting to pass old ones as new. its all good, im still laughing.

the words - finally coming together....slowly.

the laughter - that hurts the stomach but halts the emergence of tears.

the internet - being able to watch missed episodes of Greys Anatomy....even though im not to thrilled with this season.

the love - given and received from family and friends. its a beautiful thing.

the YOU - that read my words. thank you.

the Creator - for blessings seen and unseen. those granted and ungranted. the Creator knows whats best for me.

onelove

Searching for Balance

im thinking of going to KC in two weeks for Last Poet Standing....its sorta like a slam but with two poets going head to head. instead of getting scores, judges hold up a one or two for the poem they liked better. i have entered a LPS before and didnt do too bad....but i need new pieces. i alread have two but i would like to have two FRESH pieces. so, im finally starting on a piece that came to me after indie finals at NPS this year. the piece about my grandfather is slowly finding a place in my pen.

even if i dont attend LPS, just the thought of doing it has gotten my juices flowing again. but it feels weird, i dont want to be one of those that only write when its time to compete. i would just like the pieces to come....because they come. im not trying to fall into the trap of being a 'slam poet', i want to be more than that. dont get me wrong, i enjoy slamming and being around the poets that do....there is so much more energy at a slam than at a open mic (to me). im not saying the poetry is better, the energy is. and its not that i dont enjoy open mics either. i do. i got started performing poetry/spoken word at an open mic.

im searching for that balance of being able to indulge in both. its hard to shake off the 'slam poet' stigma once its been 'penned' on you. im not even TRYING to write slam material, thats just how the pieces come out.

I need Funky Mike to come with some Yoda/Zen Master type knowledge to help me out, lol.

onelove

ps. still trying to find someone to help me put down vocals. folks keep talking about what they are GOING to do without stepping up. maybe getting this car and being able to get out more will help people see how serious it is to me.

Greys Anatomy....

While still my favorite show, it has lost some of its luster....why? here is my 5 reasons why (to me)

1. Burke not on the show. he added some flare to the show and his acting was great. they should have allowed him to come back.

2.The George and Izzy thing really sucks. ok, they are in love BUT the show is going overboard with its approach. it seems forced.

3. Derek's ex-wife being gone.

4. Dr. Torres as chief surgeon is just not working for me. i love her character but im not digging the new role. she just isnt the strong character she once was. plus, i know she is going to fall apart once George tells her who he 'really' loves.

5. The Grey sisters. why does the younger sister HAVE to intern at the hospital. im not buying it.

But those are just my thoughts. i have missed to episodes and maybe things have changed. im really hope so because right now, im not feeling it!

Late but VERY Grateful....

im grateful for:

The Creator....allowing me to rise once again and enjoy LIFE! the road is rough but i push on. Thank You!

Courtney....being the vessel that brought me back.

Malik....one day little man, i will see your face again.

Faith....it being that, which ties me to the Creator.

Family....dealing with the good AND the bad is what makes families strong.

Blu....you are about to write a novel. thats whats up!!

Neo Family....thank you, thank you, thank you for the wide smiles, caring words and open arms. i miss all my SISTERS and BROTHERS there. thank goodness for Blogger....lol.

Big Sis....hope i didnt worry you too much.

Nerd....i can understand the family needing you. we are all good.

Curly....i'll hold your head up if you hold mine. i got ya!

Poetry/Poets....the fire is slowly coming back. i just need to get it on paper.

The Monte Carlo....that im two weeks away from getting. No more having to depend on other people for rides. Spoken Word Grooves, here i come.....YEA BABY!!!

Sprint....less texting and computer time = more reading. im currently reading the Vampire Huntress series by L.A. Banks. im addicted.

YOU....taking the time to read my joy and pain. thanks for reading and responding.

The Creator....for blessings seen and unseen. those granted and those not. the Creator knows whats best for me!!

Faith....

This post is titled FAITH for a reason. for the last couple of weeks, i had been living in a dark funk and had thoughts running through my head that shouldnt have been there. it felt as if there was a weight on my back that couldnt be moved and i was tired of trying. tired of my wheels spinning and not moving forward. then getting hit with other peoples negative energy didnt help matters any.

depression can be a b***h.

then my daughter came over and it felt as if every worry i had......went away. she made me smile, laugh and remember that my life, isnt so bad. i felt stronger after her visit. we hadnt been able to spend a lot of time together but when i was at my lowest point, the Most High made it happen.

it strengthened my FAITH. i still carry the same burdens, they just dont feel so heavy! thats why my grateful list begins AND ends with the Creator......the Creator knows whats best for me.

im not crazy ya'll....i FAITH and know the Creator watches over me! even when im walking around in darkness.

onelove

Grateful list.....

a brother is still around.....just dont have access to the internet that i once had.

grateful for:

the Creator.....allowing me to see another day and enjoy the creation known as live!

Cookie.....being crazy and making me laugh. i keep looking at pictures from her younger days...sigh.

Blu....for allowing me to vent...yet again.

poetry....i missing right about now. just cant find the drive to create.

da job.....retail gets on my nerves but i enjoy interacting with the people.

The Creator....the blessing seen and those unseen. prayers granted and ungranted....YOU know whats best for me. Thank You.

Grateful Day.....YOU KNOW!!

no phone, no internet but we keep it moving.

im grateful for:

The Creator.....allowing me to once again rise and enjoy another day. even though my actions at times arent a positive reflection of the love i have for thee, i remain grateful and thankful.

Cookie....she is on the hunt for shoes for her homecoming dress. she is gonna wear heals! i want my baby back.

Da Parents.....for being da parents and putting up with me! You could have turned a deaf ear to me, closed your doors to me and closed your wallets but you didnt. i cant say thank you enough!

Hope....hey lil papi, i still hold hope that we will see each other again.

Poetry & Poets.....forever grateful for the words and those that deliever them. dont know if im losing my fire but the words arent flowing.

Jill Scott.....releasing a 'grown and sexy' cd. Now, come with the live dvd!! Hell, come in concert as well.

Tx Family.....just for being brought into my realm. when it gets rough, i depend on ya'll to keep me moving. whats crazy, its not through verbal communication but through text messages and blog post.....hella crazy. wish i felt that with people here.

Neeee Ooooo....someone keep me posted, through the email, on the topics of Neo. Im still gonna attend!

People....all that have touched my life, good or bad, for adding on to the Life Lessons.

Life....it aint what i thought it would be but im still better off than a lot of folks.

The Creator....the blessing seen and those unseen. prayers granted and ungranted....YOU know whats best for me. Thank You.


onelove

Common...is the SHIT!

I got to see Common Wed night....and it was something that i really needed. getting to see my chi-town brother was great. the crown was light because most people were headed to Jena,La but still had energy. i stood alone on the floor of the venue and felt weird. i missed the people i normally stand with. i missed seeing the faces of those i know. yet i still had fun.

that night, REAL hip-hop pushed its way into my ears, traveled dark hallways that led to closed doors where, do not enter, flashed in neon red, black and green letters. Pause. Hip-Hop, in a b-boy stance with mic in hand, serenaded me....brought back Run DMC, Public Enemy, Eric B, BDP, the Cold Crush Brothers, MC Lyte, Grandmaster Flash and Bambaataa....how i reminisced about them, my God....once again i was doing the Running the Man, the WHOP, the Gigolo and break dancing...checkout my style....once again, the MC was the messenger, the DJ provided beat.....the message simple: lets have a good time and party ya'll.....yes, yes ya'll

and we did.

for one night, we partied without the divisions of color, economic background, sex, or religion. we were unified through the music.

WE THE PEOPLE....declared our love for hip-hop.....WHILE IN A B-BOY STANCE.

FRESH FOR 07.....YOU SUCKAAAAAAAAA'S

Thanx Common.

Grateful Day....

Im Grateful For:

the Creator....allowing me to see another day of life.

Cookie....making me realize WHY, as much as i want to move,now isnt the time.

My Mom & Pop....for being such bad grandparents by spoiling the grandchild. lol

My Sis....knowing that you smiled after realizing what that emailed contained.

Queue....blessings on your second princess....you gonna try for a prince now?

Poetry....the words are still there, just bring them to life!

Curly Sue....the poem that opened my eyes to the talent you have.....FIYAH.

Sprint....not clipping me before i got a LOT of great MUSIC! i miss my phone.

Music....i have rediscovered JAZZ....and im not talking SMOOTH JAZZ...but REAL JAZZ!

the Nerd....sad ,but awesome, poetry and internet word games. im getting better.

Common....going to his concert TONIGHT....maybe.

Angel....making me remember the days of youth, grandparents and the blessings of having someone in my life.....who i would call father.

the Creator....for blessings seen and unseen....those granted and those not...YOU know whats best for me.


ONELOVE

Have You Heard......

introducing you to some of my favorite artist that dont get airplay on the radio. so lets start with:


Keite Young - The Rise and Fall of Keite Young, released on Hidden Beach Records. the brother cd is hot!! he is a mixture of James, Prince and Bilal with a gospel, rock and funk feel.

peep the video for Keite's song; If We Were Alone featuring N'Dambi.

The Grateful List...Thursday Edition

Jam Session

see the butterflies
feel the rhythm
know the freedom
dance to laughter
sing with smiles
play the instrument
of youth
backed by friends
reading heart notes
composed by life

poem by Copasetic Soul
painting by Cbabi Bayoc


im grateful for:

the Creator...allowing me to blessed with another day of life.

Cookie....i so miss the baby she once was. enjoying her growth.

Mom...and that homemade peach cobbler...so damn good!

family...blood, step or friend, its always love.

da big sista...who's surprise IM had me laughing. my head is NOT big!

poetry...words, words and more words.

da job...that allows me time to breathe the words.

pics...that makes friends smile.

tomorrows...that birth beautiful todays and amazing yesterdays

pin quotes...that speak the truth.

Blu...forgiving my loose tongue. cant say sorry enough.

pics...that made Curly smile...thought you needed it.

Cbabi Bayoc...a dope artist from st.louis. check him out: www.bayocstudio.com

the Creator...the blessings seen and unseen. prayers granted and ungranted...YOU know whats best for me.

da weekend

after months of broken dreams, i finally made it down to Arkansas to chill with Mo-Man and Krysis. they are the twin monsters that run Poets In the Streets in Little Rock. they are trying to bring the 'word' to this community through a monthly slam and various other events.

Mo-Man and Krysis, showed a brother nothing but love...the moment i walked through the front door till the time i left. not only were those two there, my homie from Florida Cuban was in the house to feature at the slam that night....Southern Fried in
the house!! i also met a cool as poet from Denver named Ron C, the dude is good! on top of ALL of that, My aunt, who lives in the rock, came out to support...YES!

ok, before the slam, we try to drum up an audience by passing out flyers and talking with the people. we get to the venue, doors are locked. after a small panick, we learn the venue owner has gone to get refreshments...kewl. running behind, open mic start, cool....slam begins, im going fourth. i do 'pleas of piece'....did ok, flubbed up the middle...second round, x is the unknown variable (only second time reading it, first in slam), stumbled with it....bad Copa!!

didnt make the third round but was kewl with that.....the others poets brought some heat. Rob C, dope. TJ, fiyah. lovely lady with slam experience, awesome. Houston, ok, Blind Guy, aight....blind guy beats me for fifth spot. yes, i said blind guy. his pieces are on a laptop that he listens to while performing.....im kewl with that, let your passion flow brother.....now, remember i mentioned being kewl about NOT making the last round, the money round, the sho'em what ya got round? well, it turns out the 'blind guy' used someone else's piece in one of the previous rounds......what the fuck? this wasnt proven until after the slam but still...wtf!?

i wanted to get mad BUT....how would it look me getting upset with a 'blind guy'? that would REALLY make me look cool, right? im not mad for the simple fact if: 1. i had performed my pieces better. 2. had selected more audience friendly pieces, i would have been in the fifth round.

I think Mo-Man was more upset than i was,lol....i loved that dude. me, im take this as a learning experience. im going to use it to be more creative with my writing. i needed to write more, this gives me another reason to do so.

what i WAS upset about.....the train, which was suppose to leave at 11:34, was two hours late....uuuuugh. we left at 2am, i didnt get to St.Louis until 10:30 am....that gets another, uuuuuugh! i did enjoy sleeping ALL the way back....lol.

so thank you Mo-Man, Krysis, Cuban, Rob , Chee Chee and all the other poets who came to Mo Man's for the afterparty (too much drinking and poetry tag). thanks for a great time and a lesson learned.

did i mention Mo Man took Rob C and i out on the town? he took us to THE Central High School...wow. also took us to the Old Mill were they filmed part of Gone With The Wind...cool. if you get a chance, ya need to stop through, every second saturday of the month for their slam and to get some love.

Grateful List....Thursday Edition (with a vent)

Since Nationals, my life as been pretty much a mess. of those i once trusted, im starting to wonder how many i really can. it takes a LOT for people to pull information out of me about me, which has lead others to call me; 'guarded' and 'secretive'...to a degree, i am. having had your trust in people 'blow up' in your face on numerous occasions, would lead one to become that way. maybe one day i will change...but i will not apologize for being 'nonchalant' or 'detached'...it comes from lessons learned. but when i do open up and let you in...you will have a friend that will be...the driver of the white bronco for life!


im grateful for:

the Creator....giving me another day to enjoy LIFE

Cookie....making it to high school and not making me kill her.

Her Mother....our peace, is good for HER and US.

My Parents....for being the here, there and everywhere..all these years.

Poetry....the poem that i gave birth to yesterday and those still waiting for light.

Nationals....minus the drama, it was fun. finally wearing the POET badge, YES!

Geneva Holliday....thank you for the shout out in HEAT.

Literati....my new favorite yahoo game.

Neeeee Oooooo....being back. i want to visit before the year is out.

The Elders....those gone and those alive. thank you for your sacrifices

the Creator....for blessings seen and unseen. prayers answered and those not...you know whats best for me.


onelove,

Right Now.....

Right Now in my life:

* im grateful for the Creator giving me another day!

* Cookie is a freshman in high school.....a FRESHMAN in HIGH SCHOOL....wtf!

* i have 4 poems running through my head that i cant write down.

* im dealing with trust issues with someone i 'thought' was a friend.

* finally made up for messing up the New Orleans piece by going back to Legacy....and rockin it.

* Cookie and her mother...where there to see me perform the piece. they had never seen me perform.

* im REALLY missing my son but have faith the Creator will make a way.

* if i could turn back that hands of time, i wouldnt have lost an East Coast slam family that i love.

* im wondering if im ready to do features.

* my pops is home and doing well.

* im grateful for Shell having her camera at Nationals...self shots are fun!

* the playstation 2 is DEAD.

* I need to write.

* Cookie's mother and i are actually getting along.....WOW!

* the new Ledisi is banging...you should get it. $7.99 @ Circuit City.

* i await the new releases by Jill Scott, Rahsaan Patterson and Erykah Badu

* as bad as life is, im happy to be here.

Pictures....Why I Take Them

Thanx to my mother, photography has become a hobby of mine. Seeing the pictures taken by Big Poppa E, Queue and Grandma Dave, has pushed me to continue taking pictures. i only got serious about photography within the last five years. while its an form of art where money can be made, Im not sure if it would be something i could do as a profession. i did have a picture of poet Wally B from Florida used for an article. Having the freedom to take pictures when and where i choose, is a beautiful thing to me. There is no pressure to take the 'perfect' shot. Sometimes, i will take a picture that leaves me in awe and not believing I took it. especially since i dont use a fancy camera with a zoom lens, just an inexpensive Kodak.

I enjoy taking action shots at open mics and slams....i wait for that moment where the poet/poets are being the most expressive. up close and personal are the best shots to me, hence the facial shots. Yea, the pics of the poet just standing in front of the mic are cool but boring. i wanna see the pain, hurt, joy and laughter of the poet. thats when the poet is performing from the 'soul'....

the only negative to taking pictures, which are posted for free, is from those who use a picture without giving credit or a thank you. yes, i do this out of love..but that doesnt mean credit shouldnt be givin.

With me being on a team this year, I had no plans of taking photographs at NPS this year. The kind words of Paradox(thank you brother), moved me to put down the video camera and start taking pictures again. after looking at the pictures taken, im glad Paradox spoke to me. just knowing someone appreciates what you do, makes its worth doing.....

***sigh***

On Monday, my babygirl will be a freshman in high school. where is the baby that:

used to fit so snug in my arm.

thought hot dogs were the greatest meal ever....ever!

used to ride on my neck, while using my head as a bongo.

would hide behind me for protection

made me eat the plastic hamburgers and hot dogs that she 'made'.

used to fall asleep on my chest.

looked so cute in her cherry dress, that we put it on her ALL the time.

spoke a language that only her mother and i could understand.

gave the greatest hugs!


i miss that child but im excited to see the woman she will become. She is still beautiful, i still like to watch her sleep and she still gives the greatest hugs.

***sigh***

my babygirl is growing up.

My NPS Highlights...pt. 1

in no certain order....

1. seeing old friends, making new ones and listening to the words. which is what NPS is all about, at least for me.

2. Getting to perform at Nationals with a GREAT group of poets from St. Louis Slam. it was a great experience.

3. Finally being able to wear the 'poet' badge week.

4. playing freeze tag and musical chairs in the after hours room at the Hyatt! that was the hottness for the week!!

5. seeing the poets sitting around the cooler containing the 'happy juice' Erica made. i knew poets liked fruit....but damn.

6. a legend poet (whom i didnt know knew my name) reminding me to take pictures because he enjoyed looking at them. before that, i was only interested in videotaping nationals.

7. Watchin Slam Charlotte wreckshop on the Finals stage! im very proud of the entire Charlotte slam scene.

8. Hugs....all the hugs that were givin and recieved all week.

9. Christopher Michael making it happen on finals stage as an indie and with his team. also for giving me a ride back to the hotel after finals.

10. the beef brisket Whoopie Cat cooked up Monday night. to say it was good, would not be doing it justice!

11. the Austin NPS staff for doing such a great job....im going to miss Austin

12. Karaoke at Ego's....poets + alcohol = we dont need a damn machine to sing!

13. Shannon Leigh rockin the hell out of the Indie's final stage!

14. the volunteers for putting up with the poets....and not killing anyone.

15. whataburger being open 24 hours.

16. Gabrielle Bouliane's outfit at the Erotic Reading....and Ed Mabrey, Adriana Ramirez, and Ragan Fox being three crazy judges.

thats it for now....more later

National Poetry Slam....Day One

Ok, we made it to Austin yesterday evening......after leaving St.Louis at 7:45 am. Why, did we get in so late? well, we had a SEVEN hour layover in Dallas! Normally i would have flipped because of this BUT, the layover turned out to be a good thing. Our slam master's father, who lives outside of Dallas, ventured into the city to pick us up....and this wonderful man; took us to Ihop (paid for it ), showed us where Kennedy got shot, waited while we took pictures, listened to the REAL story of WHY Kennedy was killed and soaked up the Dallas morning sun. then, he took some of the team to a thrift store, while taking others to CVS before taking us back to the airport. not once did he complain about us taking too long at the Kennedy site, the thrift store or the price of gas, he just drove! how kewl is that?

We get to Austin. at this point, we are a group of dead tired poets...who had short naps here and there, you would think that sleep would be the main mission after checkin in, right? NOPE! we venture to the host hotel, where i see 13 and Erika from Neeee Ooooo, who tell us to hit Ruta Maya's where the slam family is having a hangin out and getting free BBQ! we get there, i pass the bbq up to see who is on the inside but not before speaking to some of my Neeeee Oooooo fam (sup Eb and Angel). after seeing who is all on the inside and getting hugs (had to get one from my sis Delrica), i head back outside for the food! THAT, turned out to be the best choice of the day because the BBQ, was damn good! i have been slippin on the pork intake of late, so i stuck with the beef brisket. once i started, i couldnt stop eating the damn brisket! yes, it was THAT good. i should have taken some for later that night but forgot too (our rooms have kitchens).

Back on the inside, folks are chillin and talking. Paulie Lippman from Denver getting on the 1's and 2's (those are turntables for those that dont know) and starts with the throwback music. my partna, Jive Poetic from NY and i start clowning, we are joined by Funk Doc from DC - Baltimore for a contest of: Remember This Dance. We are then joined Mo Browne, who shows us a couple of moves while grooving to a Rufas and Chaka Kahn song....i cant remember what the next song was BUT...next thing i know, Mo and Jive are doing a lil "dirty dancing"...lol. we were all cryin from laughin so much.....

I chilled for a minute, ate more beef brisket and talked with other poets before heading back to the hotel to practice. we go over the what's, the who's and the why's...some of the team, turns in to get some much needed sleep...others head of to the host hotel for some late night hanging out (im in this bunch). there were a couple of people outside and in...so, we chilled for a bit before returning to our rooms.

im still in awe of wearing the poet badge this year, so it was good to have a chance to relax, see the slam fam again and kick it before the slam begins. im still a lil nervous but ready to slam and make it happen!

In words of Johnny Drama.........VICTORY!!!

Right Now........

Right Now:

I miss my phone.

Nationals is seven days away.

My pops is getting better.

The butterflies are asleep.

Im so broke, i cant afford razors to shave my dome.

HEAT by Geneva Holliday (yes Blu Jewel, had her and Bernice to ya list)is good reading.

My mothers computer is my friend.

I miss my internet connection.

Im happy to be able to see the Neeeee Ooooo fam perform

War Sucks.

Im upset we are in the same bout....wtf!!

Actually talking to people is overrated....i miss texting.

George Bush should be impeached...and charged as a liar, an idiot and murderer.

My Zune is my buddy....4,119 songs, 19 videos and 4 pictures...ahhh, sanity.

There is a Kiss poem that needs to be written(shut up Sarah!)

Im glad that Queue still stops through. even with niece #2 on the way...miss ya sis!

im grateful for those that entered the contest....that was cool of all of you.

Lil Bush is the funniest show on tv!

Let me thank ALL of you for taking the time to read my words and comment!


onelove,
Copa

Its Been A While But.......

im still grateful for:

the Creator....giving me another to breath the air, hear the birds and enjoy LIFE. everyday given, is a gift to be enjoyed.

Courtney....her wings grow stronger everyday while rainbows flow from her smile.

my pops....he is FINALLY getting the correct medical treatment. miss ya man!

my mom....for keeping it together.

words....all of your words that encouraged me to continue on when i was ready to quite.

poems....that slowly come together when least expected.

07....being the year that made me feel like a poet. thought it would be 06 but it worked out through G.O.D.

Geneva....for sending the AUTOGRAPHED book. and to think our friendship started with a simple email. SEE, brothers DO READ!

My Neeeeee Oooooo Fam....i miss being able to text ya'll!! see you in two weeks.

us....coming together as a team. lawd, lawd, lawd.

Butterflies....they let me know that im still an infant in this game.

YOU....for taking the time out of your busy days to read my words...Thank You.

the Creator....for all blessings granted and those ungranted. blessings seen and unseen. the Creator knows whats best for me.

onelove,
Copa

A Much Needed Surprise

as of late, my life has revolved around poetry practice, work, Cookie and my parents.

so it was a pleasent surprise to receive a gift from my favorite auther and friend, Bernice McFadden. Bernice is VERY close to another author im starting to like, Geneva Holliday. they are SO close that Bernice got Geneva to send me an autographed copy of Geneva's latest book Heat (which is getting good reviews on Amazon). YEA BABY!!!

the book arrived at a very good time because it will allow me an escape from everything. plus, the title, HEAT, gives one reason to believe that it will take the mind to a place filled with erotic pleasure! that gets another....YEA BABY!!

thank you Bernice and Geneva for the gift. love ya!

the other EH!


ps. Bernice is having a contest on blog. winners receive autographed copies of her latest books; Nowhere Is A Place (which is FIYAH) and Heat. There is a link to her Blogger in my friends list. take a second and give a guess....

Getting Butterflies

it has begun...nationals is right around the corner and the butterflies have emerged from their cocoons, spread their wings and taking flight....inside my stomach. after attending three prior nationals, this will be the first time the badge around my neck (or elsewhere)will read 'poet.' thats right, no volunteer status for the kid this year! what REALLY sucks is my 'hangout' time will be limited...im sure we will be practicing when not performing. plus, im gonna miss being with the Neeee Ooooo family and following them around like a groupie!! im still gonna be rooting for them though (gonna wear the ugly people shirt under my other shirts)!!

after attending slams as an indie for so long, its been rough getting used to the team concept. everyone has different idea's for poems, different ways to write, different vocals tones and different styles. yet, we are ALL trying to pull it together to make things work for the team. my big thing is too do what i do and enjoy nationals from the perspective of a competing poet! damn the scores, damn the judges and damn the crowd if they dont feel me....sike, i want them to feel me. if they dont, i will still kick it!!

can anyone say Ihop?

My Pops

my pops is STILL in the hospital.

Saturday, he had an MRI done on his hip....found there was an infection in the hip away that had found its way into his bloodstream....now they are talking about talking about taking his legs and most of pelvis area...but i know my pops isnt going for that shit.....so they are saying that the procedure isnt done, he will get mennagitis and die....


its just going from bad to worse...but we are trying to be strong and lean on the Creator to pull my pops through.


keep him in your prayers and thoughts.

onelove,
Copa

Southern Fried Poetry Festival Recap

peace and blessings,


so yea, this post is way late....but here it is...

The weekend of June 6-10, i attended Southern Fried Poetry Slam held in Columbia,SC. Beautiful South Carolina where the Confederate Flag flies in front of the capitol building. yep, the Confederate Flag FLIES in front of the CAPITOL BUILDING!!! so, many people have tried to destroy the flag since it was removed from the TOP of the capitol building that there is now an armed guard posted by the flag 24 hours a day.

dont wanna bore you with ALL the detail but will give you some quick highlights:

the good:

1. i got to MC two bouts AND co-hosted the finals.
2. hosting the "newbie" slam with my mentor/big brother/friend Chris Imperial aka Big Daddy Black Juice.
3. the 3 am cypher in the weight room of the hotel
4. poets putting ego's aside to assist in finding judges for the Saturday bouts.
5. sharing the stage with three other great indie poets as team.
6. the road trip with Buffy from Charlotte to Columbia was great...an hour an a half of music and laughter.
7. Tranquility a veggie bar in the front an open mic area in the back. they saved the slam when other venues flaked on us!
8. watching the youth poets ROCK some hot ass pieces!
9. seeing Respect the Mic (Charlotte's Other team) and Ali take Southern Fried team and indie titles.
10. seeing myself on the program for Southern Fried
11. watching my STL Slam teammate Surreal Sista on the indies final stage.
12. painting my finger nails black....everyone liked it!

the beautiful:

1. the powers that be trusted me enough to let me MC two bouts.
2. another more experienced poet suggested to the powers that be, that i co-host the finals.
3. Feeling that Southern Fried was truly a family affair!


the bad:

1. finding judges for so many bouts during Southern Fried.
2. Venues that couldnt make up their minds if they wanted us there.
3. i didnt get a chance to hear some of my favorite poets perform.
4. the six hour layover in Knoxville,Tn on the way home.
5. the four hour layover in Nashville,Tn on the way home.
6. getting sick after returning from Southern Fried.
7. sittin next to the just released convicts on the way home.
8. the fourteen hour bus ride there
9. the loooooong as bus ride back home.
10. having to come back to the REAL world.


this was only my third Southern Fried but being around my Southern Fried Poetry family and feeling the love makes each long bus ride worth it. the words, the poets, the energy and the fun is the reason why i keep returning. yea, the is a closer regional slam but my HOME and HEART is with Southern Fried and all those that attend. its a great thing and i will always attend as long as im able. its more than a poetry event, its a family reunion.


onelove,
Copa

im baaaaack

1. im feelin better.
2. Southern Fried was the bomb(blog about that tomorrow).
3. took some pics at Southern Fried.
4. got new pieces dancing in my head
5. still got a job.
6. i have missed ya'll.


onelove

wanted to share.....

paste the link below and scroll down

www.southernfriedcolumbia.com/index.htm

not only am i on the main page but i took most of the pictures.

07, has turned out to be a good year after all...

if i can bite me sis 13...its all about G.O.D.

Guess What.....

Last night, St. Louis had its Grand Slam to pick the team going to Austin. after two rounds of poetry, ugly low scores and a slam off.....i became of a member of the 2007 St.Louis National Poetry Slam Team. i have been into poetry ALL my life but only into SLAM since 04 when Nationals was held here in St. Louis (no comments people). After cutting my chops at regional slams (Sup Southern Fried fam), local slams and attending National slams as a volunteer, this is my first Nationals team.

im still waiting to get excited.

Yes, its something that i have wanted! Yes, its gonna be fun hitting the National stage as a TEAM member! Yes, its gonna be funny to go for free!

I guess that the feeling hasnt reached that 'HAPPY SPOT' in my body yet. it could be attending Nationals for the last three years, being close to different teams and watching them go through the motions has numbed me a little to the experience. there is a young guy on the team, Bobby, who is excited about attending Nationals..I mean really really excited and im sure his excitment will rub off on me....i will say that its gonna be funny to wear the POET badge instead of the VOLUNTEER badge.

Buffy, Delrica, Chris Imperial Scott Woods and Big Poppa E...thanks for encouragement, support and words of wisdom.

Neo Soul fam....thanks for pushing me. thanks for the encouragement. thanks for the kicks in the AZZ! thanks for keeping the fire burning! thanks for just being my fam! even though im on a non-Neo Nationals Team, im STILL down with Neeeeee Ooooooo....and a soldier in the making!can we still do Ihop?

See ya'll in Austin....


onelove

Gratitude Wednesday

I'm grateful for:

the Creator.....allowing me another day to see the sun, hear the birds and feel the breeze....thank you.

pop....not out of the hospital but out of ICU.

mom....just because

mike....my frat brother who came through with food on Monday after I put out an s.o.s....thanks brah!

Courtney....walking across the stage. one stage down two more to go.

medication.....strep be gone!

phone calls and text....from friends checkin on.....thank you.

poetry and poets.....the sharing of poetry through IM's.

new board games.....cant spell it but its fun.

nerd....keep ya head up.

ALL OF YOU.....for taking the time to read my blog when there are 1,000 other things you could be doing.

the Creator.....for blessing seen and unseen. those granted and those ungranted....the Creator knows what's best for me....Thank You.

Update....

the Good:

My Pop is better...three ulcers later is out of ICU. to think, they wanted to send him home at first.

Cookie graduated from middle school....and i missed it. feel like a bad parent but im so PROUD of my BABY!

Getting over strep throat...so much for kicking it Memorial Weekend.

Enjoyed playing Literati....its addictive.

Watched: Monk marathon, basketball game and MSNBC special on: Young Lords of Chaos, about a gang of kids in Fort Myers that killed a teacher. pretty interesting.

the BAD:

Second bout with Strep...didnt start getting it till i started working at Burlington.

Been in the house since Wed....only went to the doctor.

Slam Finals is Wed..havent memorized the new pieces. gonna hafta read from paper.

Stayed up too often...Didnt sleep enough.


onelove

UH HUH, UH HUH..YEA YEA

Because of combination of work and sleep, i have managed to miss most this entire season of CSI's. i like all three CSI's with Las Vegas being my favorite (Grissom is just TOO COOL for school) and NY (Mac does nothing for me)being my least favorite. i hate that Grey's and CSI are pitted against each other on thursday nights. its like asking me to choose between strawberry or chocolate ice cream. Thank goodness we live in the age of computers where i can watch previous episodes on line! im not even mad CBS cuts the episodes into four different pieces. its all about being able to catch up on my show....

sorry i just felt the need to blog that....

Thank you for reading...


ps....when you get the chance, click the link of my fellow poet Father Chaos.

my sometime hobby

i took these shots at earlier this month at a house that was holding a 'Green Day' open house for plants. the black and white shots are my favorites....i find them beautiful.

what do ya think.

ps...the first pic is my personal favorite

Gratitude Wednesday (Saturday Edition)

even though its been a rough 24 hours, im grateful for:

the Creator.....for giving me another day..the sun is bright, the air is fresh and the grass feels good. I give you the praise for all that i am....THANK YOU.

Cookie.....for giving me a dose of the pain i caused my mother. im REALLY sorry Mom!

her Mom.....our newfound level of unity to keep our child on the straight.

Pop....i hope that you get better. even in your weak state, you are still the man i strive to be.

Mom.....never thought we would have a conversation like that one...thank you for giving me an ear.

Family and friends......that have offered up thoughts and prayers for the recovery of my pop. THANK YOU

Buffy.....for the conversation and the nudge to slam.

Neee Oooo Fam.....for pushing me to slam. i got second place and go on to the grand slam on the 30th

Neee Oooo Fam pt.2.....congrats to those that made the 07 team...i will be cheering for ya!

cupcakes.....im chubby because of them but they taste soooo good.

Father Chaos.....what up brah....welcome to blogger (we post more than poems)...check him out ya'll.

poets and poetry.....the poem about my sister coming to life. i Miss You.

all of you....for taking the time to read a brothers rantings and ravings..THANK YOU.

the Creator...for blessing seen and unseen. those granted and ungranted....you know whats best for ME. i have faith that you will bring my pop through this.....

onelove

depression embraces me
as if a long lost friend
steals the last
of loose life smiles
from depleted pockets
leaving uneven black letters
on ripped paper
ThaNKs,
sEE yOu tOMorrOw

Gratitude Wednesday (Thursday Edition)

im grateful for:

the Creator....for allowing me to once again see another day. Thank You.

Mom...HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.....thanks for putting up with me all these years.....LOVE YA!

My Aunt (my other mother)....she doesnt do computers but....HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

Cookie....she is about to graduate from the 8th grade...my baby is about to be a FRESHMAN.....where did the time go?

my son....still keeping the faith lil man....

My Cousin.....glad your around for anothers Mothers Day

Buffy....new software..quicker uploads....Zune Power!!

poetry....the return of the words. feelin good about new pieces. my growth (no jokes people) as a poet.

poets....and their kind words to this poet.

the Big Sister....for just being....the big sister....G.O.D. sis

the Nerd....they are YOUR words...dont worry about anything else.

Curly Sue....for the late night laughter

the Lil Sister....i got my invite....im happy for ya'll.

The Texas Cousin....thanks for calling glad your ok....prayers to your family.

Rain....i just enjoy the sound

Mothers.....HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all of YOU.

to the Creator....for all blessings seen and unseen....those granted and those ungranted....you KNOW whats best for me. THANK YOU for putting the pen back into my life to purge my soul.

Premature Need For Wings

Many times i have tried
to write you out of my mind
Use the blank pages to write away
the tears memories of you create
Ignore the surge of pain
flowing through cramped fingers
From choking the pen too tight
In my attempt
to have it bleed you back to life

Back to the physical, back to flesh
Back to those you left wondering why
Why you couldnt feel
the Creators kiss in the sunrise
Or feel the Creators hugs in sunsets
Couldnt you ear the birds
sing their songs in the key of you
Just to make you dance

Even though i could see
the emptiness in the corner of your eyes
Hear the lost in the hollowness of your voice
Your spirit still had the glow of an untapped galaxy
That thought the milkyway was a place to small
To contain the vastness of just one of your dreams

So what,
No one else saw the stars like you
Maybe the stars only held nightly shows
For those like you
Who could still see the beauty in a wilted rose
While caressing it to their chest

That was the beauty of you
If you could have seen what i saw
Maybe you would have evicted
The ugliness cowards implanted in you
In order to hide the shame of their own

Maybe if you would have been shown
Just how beautiful you really were
The premature need for wings
Would not have ended With the halo
Of the angel you already were
Too tightly wrapped around your neck

eghilliard,2007
bunny's boy publishing
all rights reserved

Gratitude Wednesday

im grateful for:

the creator....for allowing me to see the beauty of the sun, feel the coolness of the wind and experience

cookie....and the Sunday night walk we shared. i cherish those moments more as she gets older. I also enjoy how she brings out my inner child.

Buffy....she got a Zune! the questions she ask makes me feel like the Zune master!

poetry and poets.....inspire me....nough said.

my newest poem (see previous post).....after writing it, then reading it...i felt like a real poet!

Butterfly Muse....thank you for the story that gave birth to this piece.

the Neeee Ooooo family.....love ya'll but i need you to post more.

the nerd....feel good about who and where you are in life. Keep ya head up.

all of YOU....for taking the time to read my blog. there are million and one things you could have done but you came here....THANK YOU.

to the Creator....for all blessings seen and unseen....those granted and those ungranted....you KNOW whats best for me. THANK YOU for putting the pen back into my life to purge my soul.


onelove

unknown variable for the lost

This came to me after reading a post of Butterfly Muse if you get a chance, PLEASE check out the post. its the story of her trip to the 9th Ward of New Orleans. the sister even has pictures..

this piece doesnt have a name but if you think of one, please share....
I carry New Orleans 9th WardIn the water stained remains of my soul the cries of the people seep into my ears like a Bourbon Street Jazz Note
carried by the last gust of Katrina's breath
to remind me of those who found an inner Jesus
by treading water to escape death
but there would be
no fish's
no loaf's
just a huddled mass in a super dome
waiting for a white house Moses to come to the aid of his people
to raise his staff
push back the waters
resurrect those who are
now numbers with lost names
x is the
unknown variable for the lost
generations of lives consumed within the murky waters
the day the levees broke

New Orleans will be rebuilton the remains of some9th ward evacuee'sSlice of the American dream By Halliburton machines
But how
Do you rebuild the remains of
A peoples soul who’s neighborhoods
Remain as empty as
Governmental promises
And as hollow
As Governmental apologies
Im sorry
Is not spelled
F.E.M.A.
It wont be found in
Middle Eastern sands
Where Katrina’s name
Is pronounced WAR
But it is a
Weapon Of Mass Destruction
Used by Governmental terrorist
To keep the people searching
For the truth within the lies

I wonder
Which bullet made the butterfly
Flap its wings
Sending the winds of changeIn a western direction
I wonder if who drownedRight before they diedClosed their eyes and added tears
To the rising water
While Praying
Their hopes and dreams
Knew how to swim Maybe It wasnt Katrina’s
Last breath carrying that
Bourbon Street Jazz Note
Maybe it was them
Rising up
One last time
combining their voices
to remind U.S.That Katrina was not that long ago
soon the camera's will fade awayfrom their direction and news stories will be more concernedabout the new New Orleansrather than the one that drownedAugust 29, 2005
They ask us to be their voicesand to
Always remember THEMeghilliard,2007bunny's boy publishingall rights reserved

The Weekend

my weekend was rather interesting

work....nough said.

Saturday went out with my cousins for our cousin Tara's birthday. i hadnt been out to club for pleasure in a long time. it felt good to be with them and it felt good to have fun!

Spent time with Lil Mama....it funny, she is at the age of wanting to be around daddy but NOT be around daddy. we did enjoy a nice walk to the store but its weird no longer being superman in her eyes.

Finally got a chance to read.......knocked off two books; Nowhere Is A Place by one of my favorite authors Bernice McFadden and Crabs In A Barrel by Byron Harmon. I enjoyed both books but Nowhere Is A Place was the better read.

Uploaded some music to my Zune....put some 80's early 90's stuff on it; Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, Guns N' Roses, Motley Crue and Whitesnake....yes, the pro-black brother likes rock music.

Poems....are in the head just havent hit the page yet.


hope your weekend was as much fun as mine.

Gratitude Wednesday (Thursday Edition)

im grateful for:

the Creator....giving me another day to enjoy everything this world has to offer. the sun has never brighter, the wind has never been so cool, the birds songs never been more beautiful...its a great day to breath in life and enjoy it.

the daughter....just for being the daughter. a daughter who enjoys calling her father with daily updates about school. im proud to be EGO TRIPPIN about being her father.

buffy....the chicago roadtrip still lingers. can i get some of the popcorn.

the big sister....who let me into her private space for a little while. funny how we have SO much in common. thanks for letting me in.

the nerd....and the IM conversation where the walls to the castle where brokend down and the chaos inside was exposed. thanks for not judging me.

the curly one....upliftment and crazy conversation.we speak so well with the eyes. can i get my jewelry!

locs....even though she hasnt blessed us with her words in a while.

Jo & B....crazy, crazy, crazy fun.

poetry....for being able to share poetry, laughter and conversation with my extended family....didnt know i could freestyle like that.

mr hustle....bet you never thought your hustle would effect someone so far away. Neeee Ooooo

Neo Soul....up and running again. YEA BABY!

the crazy lady....im finally reading the words...dont be mad at a brother.

sleep....it is my friend

all of you....for reading these words and responding. thank you.

the Creator....for blessings seen and unseen. those granted and ungranted. the Creator knows whats best for me. i give you the praise and the glory for being. Thank You.

Gratitude Wednesday

i actually posted one on time!

im grateful for:

the Creator....for allowing me to see another day, to hear the birds sings their songs and to breath the air. i love the fact you love me without question, during the good and bad times. THANK YOU for all you for me.

my daughter....just plain beautiful

my parents....crazy but you gotta love them

love....her love, their love, your love, the Creators love,

time....there is never enough of it.

quesadillias and pancakes.....HELL YEA!!

Tarot card readings.....not sure if its real but DAMN...it rang true.

her....a new poetic friend asking this MALE to read her work, im honored. the nikki giovanni story is coming soon,i promise.

words....hearing theirs live and in person.

poetry.....juices are flowing, the pen is ready to bleed and the words await formation.


THEM:






my Neeeee Oooooo family...thank all of you for embracing me and showing me nothing but love. thank you for the support, advice, laughs and hugs. all families have issues, and this too shall pass.....thank you for being.....

August cant come quick enough.....SEEEEARCH!

all of you.....for taking the time to read my rantings, poetry and thoughts. your comments help brighten cloudy days.....THANK YOU.

the Creator....for all blessing seen and unseen. granted and ungranted. i do believe YOU know whats best for me....THANK YOU.


for more pics of my Austin trip, click here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/copaseticsoul/sets/


onelove

Msg From Your Local Rapper

i felt a need to post this little piece from Young Jezzy...it comes from an interview found in the St. Louis Post Dispatch.

Young Jeezy, whose latest million-selling album is "The Inspiration." Of his appeal, Jeezy says: "I'm a real (dude), so I can relate more to a lot of cats. I don't just do music for the clubs, I do music for the struggle. I do music for everyday (dudes), the kids who ain't got no sense of direction. I'm trying to restore some of the morals back into the game, as far as the street."

So, if im reading this correctly, Mr. Jezzy believes that his rapping about past drug deals, this size of rims and what not, is the music for the struggle? that he giving some thirteen year old girl direction with the use of the word 'ho's' or is helping a sixteen year old boy with drug tales. oh yea, i can see where he is giving the kids a direction.

And what struggle is his music helping? it would appear as if the only struggle he is helping is the struggle to keep prisons full with his 'snow man' stories. ok, so lets send another young african-american male to the corners to sell death in neighborhood he calls home. yep, thats gonna bring the neighborhood back up.

It would nice if the current state of rappers would throw in a line about say... the need for better schools in the inner-city. or that being the 'snow man' aint easy. how about throw out a line where a african-american female, aint a bitch or a whore. Maybe because im more mature, most of todays POPULAR rap music doesnt appeal to me but i do enjoy the likes of The Roots, Talib Kweli and Mos Def.

Al Sharpton was a bulldog on the loose when it came to Imus but what about todays rappers? there was a time when Al and others where going after 'rappers' and their lyrics...but once the media backed away, so did Al and the others. maybe if they would have stayed on the rappers the same way they have Imus, shit might have changed.

But media whores only go where their pimps shine the light and the light has been bright on Imus.

Gratitude Wednesday (Thursday Edition)

im grateful for:

the Creator....THANK YOU for giving me another day to enjoy LIFE...there is something good about the air, the sun and the grass in the springtime. even the raindrops feel good.

my daughter (READ the previous post PLEASE)....who will soon be a freshman in high school, getting ready for her 8th grade ball. my cookie girl is gonna be rockin a DRESS AND HEELS! i feel so old.

my son....im still holding on to the hope of seeing him again.

my mom and pop....for taking cookie and i out to eat for our birthdays. crabs legs and chocolate cake, oh yea!

mom and pop....for their upcoming anniversary...YAY

my cousin....till feeling good about seeing her last week...im so glad she is better.

poets and poetry....words, words and words coming together to make heal, cause laughter or make one cry.

my big sister(who doesnt look 40)....writing me a great poem that i read and read and read and read and read...then smile.

the nerd and the curly haired one....friends + laughter = fun.

a job....not the best in the world but it allows me time to go out of state poetry events.

all of you.....for taking the time to read my blog, i enjoy reading the comments.

the creator....THANK YOU....for the blessings seen and unseen....granted and ungranted....my faith is strong for the creator knows whats best for me.

For Her....

ON HER BIRTHDAY




APRIL SHOWERS

I WONDER IF THE CREATOR
MISSES THE ANGEL SENT DOWN ON APRIL 6, 1993
HE MUST,
IT ALWAYS RAINS THE HARDEST IN APRIL
I FEEL THE STING OF THE SORROW OF HIS TEARS
WHILE STANDING IN APRIL SHOWERS
HEAR HIS DEEP MOAN IN THE BASS OF THE THUNDER
BUT WHENEVER THE LIGHTING DANCES ACROSS THE SKY
I CAN SEE HIM SMILING
WATCHING HER FROM BEYOND THE CLOUDS
AS HIS ANGEL TRANSFORMS A SINNER
THERE IS A SONG IN HER SMILE
THAT BEGAN WHEN I FIRST HELD HER IN SHAKEY ARMS
SUCKED INTO THE RHYTHEM WHEN SHE OPENED HER EYES
MY HEART DANCED THE DANCE OF FATHERS BEFORE ME
THEY TOO HAD HELD ANGELS IN THEIR ARMS
THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT THE FIRST TIME A
DAUGHTER LOOKS INTO A FATHERS EYES THAT HE FINDS PEACE
HE LEARNS THAT BUBBLES AND BALLONS HAVE NO AGE RESTRICTIONS
THAT WHITE DRESSES WITH RED CHERRIES, LOOK CUTE ON HER
YES, FATHERS CAN SAY CUTE WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR DAUGHTERS
HE DISCOVERS THE HEALING POWERS OF HER HUGS
CHERISHES HER KISSES AS IF THEY WERE GOLD
IS UNASHAMED TO RELEASE RIVERS WHEN SHE FEELS PAIN
WANTS TO PAINT HER EYES THE COLOR OF RAINBOWS
SO SHE CANT SEE THE DARKNESS OF THE WORLD
ESPECIALLY WHEN HE BE THE REASON
BUT THE SONG IN HER SMILE PLAYS ON
EVEN WHEN A FATHERS EYES ARE CLOSED TO THE WORLD
HIS HEART TURNED COLD
BUT THE SONG IN HER SMILE
REMINDED HIM OF THE ANGEL HE ONCE HELD IN SHAKEY ARMS
APRIL 6, 1993
IT ALWAYS RAINS THE HARDEST IN APRIL
APRIL IS HER MONTH, MY MONTH, OUR MONTH
THE MONTH THE CREATOR ALLOWED A SINNER
TO BECOME A FATHER TO AN ANGEL

eghilliard,2006
bunny's boy publishing
all rights reserved


HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY

I AM PROUD TO BE YOUR DADDY

LOVE YOU

My Wed List. (Thursday Edition)

I'm grateful for:

the creator allowing me to once again see another day. to feel the chill of the Chicago wind on my face.....everyday is a blessing.

a trip to Chicago to see my cousin. its my first trip back since she has been out of her coma. after being afraid of losing her, it was great seeing her up and around. I know it was nothing but the Creator that brought her back.

seeing how big and beautiful her daughter has gotten.

just driving down Lake Shore Drive at 2am without a lot of traffic....so peaceful.

my daughter, her birthday is Friday.......ARIES what!!

for her Earth Day poem for me... thank you so much. I couldn't help but smile.

that early text message that made her the first to say Happy Earth Day

the phone call cause she wanted to say Happy Earth day

all of you who left a cmment wishing me a Happy Earth Day. there are over 400 'friends' on my myspace list....only one left an offering. See why I come back here.

the creator for blessing seen and unseen. those granted and ungranted. the Creator knows what's best for me!

ps....peep the previous list.

onelove

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!

yep on this day many moons I escaped the birth canal and began the quest towards adulthood.

this year, my earth day will be a quite one. I'm not big on parties (well,not till my 40th), just enjoy chillin with the family andfriends oh yea, and working too.

this year was special though. I had performance last night (read previous post), in th audience was my mother and a couple of cousins. in the two years I have done spoken word, last night was the my first time performing in front of any member of my family. I was a nervous about performing in front of them but pulled it off. I was really honored that they showed up to support me. the performance gave me a chance to thank them for opening their arms to me when I came back from being lost, that meant a lot to me. I almost couldn't get it out from the tears found their way into my eyes.

I can't right past wrongs but its my goal to show I'm a better person. spoken word is one way of showing it. I'm glad my family got to experience that side of me. I'm am truely a blessed brother.

onelove,
Evan aka Copa

The Day Before My Earth Day!

Hosted By::
Troy Sound
e-mail

When:
Sunday Apr 01, 2007
at 8:00 PM


Where::
One Mic
The Filter Bar (old Nik's Wine Bar) 313 Belt Av
St. Louis, MO 63112
United States
View Map


One Mic Poetry Crew showcase premier. Featuring group pieces and themed individual pieces by 7Cz, Surreal Sista, Meru and The Wordsmith every 1st Sunday of the month.


One Mic poetry crew showcase premiere is this Sunday and showcases poetry from 7Cz, Surreal Sista, Meru and The Wordsmith and features an out-of-town poet and a local poet on the first sunday of every month. Musical stylings by The Phunk Philosophy Experiment. This month's out of town feature is M.A. from Birmingham Alabama and local poet Copasetic Soul.


THATS WHATS UP! LET YOU KNOW HOW IT WAS LATER....

ONELOVE

ps...dont forget to peep the previous post!

grateful day...late edition

I'm grateful for:

the Creator....who continues to allow me to wake up to enjoy the beauty of LIFE. I take it for granted way too much!

another Earth Day.....im am blessed. a lot of family and friends have gone on to a higher plain. yet, I am still here watching the sand fall in my life's hour glass.

my daughter......as my life clock begins to tick towards the sunset, I enjoy watching hers tick to the noon. her rise captures my heart.

my family....goodbyes remain hard, yet each time our numbers decline, it strengths our bond!

the phone call.....that allowed me to hear her flow. the beauty and strength of her words are captivating when delievered.

her...taking time with my words while encouraging me open my mind and paint with broader strokes.

poetry....the words are slowly coming together. I pray that people will be able to see the beauty of my words....even if they are as elementary as a 3rd graders finger painting.

friendships.....that continue to blossom despite the distance. each one holds a special place in my heart.

all of you....for taking the time to read the blogs of this mans struggles with life. at times your comments are the lifelines that bring me back to the light....Thank You for sharing these struggles with me.

the Creator....and the blessing seen and unseen. those granted and those that weren't. the life of this sinner is a daily battle, so I ask for your guidance and understanding as I forge on through the darkness looking for the light. the Creator knows what's best for me.

onelove,
Copa

Gratitude Wednesday (Saturday Edition)

wow, this is super later...but must be done.

im grateful for:

the creator....allowing me to see another day. the elements feel good against my skin. I dont give the Creator enough credit for all that i have...THANK YOU.

my daughter....that even though she REALLY pissed me off, she still made me smile. i hope she enjoyed Nikki Giovanni.

my mother....who seemed to enjoy seeing Nikki Giovanni as much as i did. plus she didnt complain about NOT having a smoke during the time we where there.

being an ARIES....dont hate, just move out the way! Me, April 2, Courtney(my daughter), April 6.....WHAT!!!

poets & poetry....got a feature April 1! i need to write.

the world....slowing down long enough so we could share words. much love to my 40 year old big sis (you really dont look it) :-)

text messages....that let me know that: the nerd and the curly one ARE crazy!

the spring....it means FALL isnt too far away!

girl scout cookies....those Thin Mints, just be callin me....Copaaaaaaa!

all of you....for taking the time out to read the mess posted on this blogger and respond with comments that make me laugh.

the Creator....for blessing granted and ungranted...those seen and unseen. those not yet manifested...the Creator knows whats best for me!

onelove

My Weekend....plus

what it do family...my weekend at a glance:

Friday and Saturday:

worked the real job and the club. Mannie Fresh had a birthday at the club Friday so there was a nice crowd. Mannie didnt have the 'superstar' attitude and came across as a down to earth brother.


Sunday:

Went to see Eric Roberson perform. this was my third time seeing Eric perform but the first time seeing him perform with his own band. the crowd was small but Erro and the band put on a damn good show (his guitar player, showed his AZZ!). the highlight of the show was a cover of 'BEAT IT' that had everyone standing.

second highlight of the show was ME performing a piece before Erro took the stage. between acts, the MC asked if anyone wanted to sing or spit some poetry. well, two poets and one singer later, i got on the mic to do a piece. it fun and felt so very good!


Monday:

my favorite poet, Nikki Giovanni, will be here reading from her latest book. My mother, daughter and i will be attending together, which should be fun to hangout with my two favorite ladies. it was my mother that got me into Nikki and i have gotten my daughter into Nikki. i dont know which of us is the most excited about attending the reading,lol....more about it later.


onelove,
Copa

ps....i glanced over some old post and well....i want you to know, i REALLY CAN SPELL! its just sometimes im posting early in the morning and my hands are moving faster than my brain. so forgive a brother for any spelling errors!

Gratitude Wednesday pt.2

so after i posted my Grateful list, two more reasons entered my life.

1. my daughter got accepted into Cardinal Ritter Prep...a private school.

2. i got a job offer from another clothing store in the mall.


even though its going to cost some money, im glad Courtney got into Cardinal Ritter. the school is a lot better than the high school she would have attended in the Fall. i believe it will be more of a challenge to her as well. plus, it will do her good to
be around kids that are focused about their eduction. i know that Catholic School kids arent saints but i hope she befriends those that will have a positive impact on her life.

im not sure about leaving my current job. while its not the BEST job in the world and i dont make a lot of money, im content. at my present job, we know what to expect from each other as employee and employer. i can request time off without issue or having to jump through hoops. im not sure about the money...but i want to be in a work enviroment where im happy and i wonder about being happy at the new place? what to do, what to do?

Gratitude Wednesday

im grateful for:

the Creator...giving me another day to enjoy the air, sun and clouds. the wind has never felt so good, the sun so warm or clouds so white....i dont always remember to give thanks....THANK YOU.

Courtney (my daghter)...for the poem she wrote about our cousin Dionne who passed two weeks ago. im so proud of her!

my mother and daughter...the where i come from and the where im going. the love they both give me.

my family...the three male Cousins still here in St.Louis are planning to hangout on Sunday. something we havent done in a while.

faith...still havent heard from my son's mother but im not giving up yet, something will give.

warm weather...spring is here.

Poets and poetry...keeps me moving and motivated when the walls are closing in.

phone tag...one day we will slow our worlds down long enough to talk.

text messages...that make me smile.

The Old School...MCM jackets, parachute pants, levi's, African Medallions, Gumby Cuts, High Top Fades, Thick Rope Chains, Rappers who were lyricist....add on in your blog if you like.

for YOU...for taking the time out to read this blog...THANK YOU

Blessings...seen and unseen. those blessings that went ungranted, for the Creator knows whats best for me.


onelove

check this out

peep the bottom of the link page for video footage of my brother CP Maze (the artist once known as Maze Forever)from the Charlotte Slam Team. the poem he spits is lovely. there are more video as well under the video section.

www.witsendpoetry.com


onelove,
Copa

ps....Ms Jo, if you read this, please know that i do read your blog but for some reason, blogger wont let me post. Glad your back!

Gratitude Wednesday (family edition)

im grateful for:


The Creator.....allowing me to once again see another day. it doesnt even matter that im sick, im here.

my daughter.....who kept me together, without knowing it.

my family....for not turning their back on me when they could have

my family (2)......for going out of there way to make sure Courtney and I could attend the services of our cousin. it felt good to be around the family.

my family (3).....laughing while watchin the next generation of cousin with each other, brought back memories of my generation of cousins and how we were.

my family (4).....being able to treat the new generation of kids the way our Aunts did us. in other words, being SERVANTS during family gatherings,lol.

the family (5).....those that have passed on: my son Christian, grandmother and grandfather, my sis Shaundra, cousins Tyrone and Dionne

my cousin in chicago.....for listening as i finally told her, that i was scared to lose her. she is not just my cousin, she is my sister and best friend.

blogger family....for all the thoughts and prayers givin in the name of my family...thank you very much.

the Creator.....for all the blessings seen and unseen. those granted and those werent, for the Creator know whats best for me.


onelove,

uuuuuugh

i hate the changing of seasons....one minute its cold the next its warm....if you put on too much clothes, your sweating like slave pickin cotton at high noon. if you dont have on enough clothes, your freezing .......and then, you get sick!

well, thats where i am at the moment.......im sick! i hate being sick....it started yesterday while i was at work (headache)and got worse once i got home (headache and sweating). i believe it was brought on by a lack of sleep the last four days and being out in the cold without a hat on.....im old enough to know better than to be out without a hat, especially since im bald.

i got some soup, orange juice and some cold medicine but what i really need is rest......and that is something thats not gonna happen. im thinkin its time to GET some rest.....i hate being sick.

Tears for My Cousin

My cousin Dionne's wake is today, funeral tomorrow and her burial is Saturday. over the years, she fought the good fight against lymphoma (a form of cancer) but the Creator finally called her home 2/24/07. i dont do death well.....especially when its someone younger than me. my cousin was a beautiful young lady and was the glue that kept our family together....always trying to get our family together on holidays. even as her body grey weak, her spirit and soul remained strong.

She leaves behind a lovely daughter, a caring mother and brother. as well as various cousins...who will all miss her.

Say a prayer for the family and keep them in your thoughts...

Fear not the true light, for it is the way to eternal peace.


onelove

Gratitude Wednesday

im grateful for:

the Creator....allowing me to wake up this morning....today is a cloudy day but i can still see the sun. its cold but the air still feels good in my lungs and on my face.

my babies....that keep me grounded while putting a smile on my face

my cousin Dionne......and the times we shared. you are no longer in pain cousin....but we will miss you.

family....keeping each other strong during rough times

being invited.......to share a stage with Saul Williams......WHAT!

the guy......that wanted a copy of the poem i read.....lets me know people really do listen.

for them.......calling and making me laugh...and laugh....and laugh....and laugh.

the young sister.......that asked me to be her mentor, im so honored.

the friends.....that have offered up prayers and thoughts to the family. thank you.

those that take the time to read this blog....thank you.

the Creator for all the blessings seen and unseen. those granted and those werent, for the Creator know whats best for me.

Kokoa of K-Designs for:





onelove

my weekend - Great, Good and Bad

great:

1. shared the same stage as Saul Williams.
2. i was asked by someone from the audience for a copy of the poem i read!
3. offered some advice to a young sister poet before she performed and afterwards. she has asked me to be her mentor :-)
4. was asked to do Q & A, for Black On Black online magazine!
5. poetry is back within me!
6. didnt do a thing Sunday!

good:

1. Saul stopped through the Legacy after his show and rocked two pieces AND didnt leave right away!
2. got a lot of positive reactions from those that read (it was my last blog post) or heard the piece at the show.
3. offered some advice to young poet at Legacy, by tellin him to slow down when he read. same words of advice givin to me.
4. put some movies on my Zune (Half Baked, Friday, I, Robot and Rush Hour 2) and two episoded of the Boondocks!
5. talked about how Legacy has changed (not for the best) and the need for the older poets to come back and show the new poets how its done. others agree and we are going to try to get it where it once was
6. got to chill Friday with my favorite St.Louis slam poet and friend Stephanie Williams.

bad.

1. my cousin Dionne died after a long bout with cancer. she leaves behind a beautiful daughter, her mother, brother and a bunch of cousins. we will all miss her!
2. the performance Friday wasnt taped.
3. the older poets just wont return to Legacy.
4. there isnt a poetry collective to bounce idea, poems or just share with here.


onelove

Tonights the Night

ok...so tonight is Saul Williams and a brother is nervous. i have narrowed my choices of poems down to two; the one from 3 post ago and the one im about to post here....this is just a rough draft, give a brother some feedback.



Confessions of a Daddy

She no longer fits into the curve of my arm
And I cant lay her head on my chest, while her legs tickle my stomach
Funny faces no longer cease a watershed of tears
The same way a kiss, no longer makes a boo-boos feel better

and we no longer sing-a-long with that purple dinosaur about how the wheels of the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round
the wheels of the bus go round-and-round
the same way we no longer sing-a-long about how every kid on the playground,
regardless of color has the potential to be a friend

a friend that doesn’t laugh at the uneven ponytails sprouting from her hair
filled with a rainbow coalition of berets and rubber bands
because her daddy did her hair
and everyone knows that daddy, really doesn’t really do hair
but he gets points for trying

like trying to be the best daddy-pony that a child has every had
as if the words “giddy up” somehow magically transformed me,
into a beautiful brown stallion
our living, became the open plains of Texas
and we rode towards the sun laughing,
riding faster than the wind of a Midwestern twister in the springtime

that space between the living and dining room became a rock incased valley
and we followed the tears of our Native American ancestors
the couch, became a snow capped mountain
we climbed its rough terrain all the way to the top
just so we…..could touch God

after our descent down that mountain, through that valley and back through the plains
back to that place from whence we came, my payment was recieved
in the smile of a young angel, who had yet to sprout her wings
but for 15 minutes her imagination had the ability to fly
to soar beyond the boundaries of the madness of this world
she was given a paint brush……and told to paint her dreams in the sky

these are the memories she kept in heart, that kept my name on her lips
during the time I didn’t bother to be father
when the burdens on my shoulders weighed me down
and my ego wouldn’t allow me to go from being a God in my daughters eyes
to just being…… a MAN

but I couldn’t erase the smile etched into my eyes
and couldn’t wash away her hand prints imbedded in mine
and I continued to hear a voice that reminded me why
why daddy, is the most beautiful word in the English language

I found redemption as she wrapped her arms around me
squeezed until I thought we, would became one
she placed in my heart a smile filled with love
sang to me the sweetest song ever sung
daddy, your home

she is 13 now, a princess on the fast track to becoming a queen
almost taller than me, yet our bond remains solid
I have given her poetry and our people’s history
she has givin me Bow Wow
taught me how to lean with it, rock wit it

i remind her daily…that she is beautiful
that she still has the ability to paint the sky with her dreams
do not let these demons hold her down
find a place to spread your wings baby..... and fly
and if you find yourself among the stars,
don’t worry cause your daddy will always know your shine

this poem was written by my hands
and in between every line, an I love you mixes with a I’m sorry
I wont pretend these words are a substitute for lost years
But if I ever leave this place, let these words hold you
on the days you wanna see my face
and I want you to know, there is no job this side of God
better then being your daddy
the most beautiful word in the english language


eghilliard,2006
bunny's boy publishing
all rights reserved