i hope it isnt what it seems to be, cos that would be my worst nightmare.

i was, and still am, very much looking forward to the future.

11:35 pm

25th january 2006.

the day started off with me reaching home at 1:30am, when i decided to be the hardworking student i had resolved to be at the beginning of the year and work on my tutorial. after an hour, i decided to take a nap and climbed back out of bed at 5am to finish up my work. very amazingly, i had the energy to get ready for school after that and rushed out of house at 645am.

great start huh? at least, as great a start to a day as possibly could for what was within my control. (:

then, things went downhill.

my 45 min bus ride took 1hr 20min thanks to a MASSIVE jam from thomson road all the way to ulu pandan road, where i decided to abandon the bus to cab the rest of the journey to school. it wasnt a very brilliant idea. it turned out that at 815am, all the cabs were rushing to change shift so i was standing there for about 20mins before i could embark on my $5.80-worth cab journey to school! and after ALL that, i was... 45 mins late for my tutorial. -_-

i guess things could have been worse with regards to the tutorial. my tutor could have yelled at me at the door and made a big fuss out of it but she didnt so *phew*. it was only at the end of the class, during which we were touching on the topic of logical fallacies, when she probed and i told her the whole process that resulted in my lateness only for her to exclaim to the class "there, this is an example of appealing to pity." well done.

so that was that. and by jon's sms "ok you'll be late for class but the rest of the day will be happy alright?" theory, i figured that alright, that's going to be the end of bad luck for today. well, fat hope. -_-

immediately after the tutorial, i proceeded to burn my tongue cos of the really really hot spurt of steam that shot out of a hole in my chicken curry puff when i took a bite out of it as discreetly as i could during physics lecture. *sniff* and in sociology lecture, which followed immediately after physics lecture, a quarter of a cup of hot steaming milo ended up all over my right hand when i accidentally bumped into the table but i couldnt make as much as a whimper cos lecture was in full swing. *ouch* poor red raw hand. -_-

after lecture, i proceeded to get my ass out of NUS to prevent anymore accidents from occurring and guess what? i tripped and fell on the overhead bridge. -_-

AAARRGGGHHHHH!!!

i guess i could find consolation in the fact that the evening went well. (:

i was complaining to jon about having a bad day so i had full on pampering when i went over, including being tucked into a nice comfy bed piled with pillows all over just for the day for some much needed sleep. *bliss* (:

and yiren managed to help me get some bak-kwa (the hardworking poor soul spent 3 hours queuing for it) and delivered it to me. yay! thanks! (:

and did i mention? i danced with super mario the night before!! he rocks!! his lead feels firm and clear yet gentle and safe. *dreamy look* (:

12:36 am

did you know...

that the petronas twin towers has a total of 32,000 windows?
this means, that it takes a whole month for the cleaners to clean all the window of one tower just once!
this also means that if you're looking for a stable job.. you know where to find it. (:



in statics class today, besides helping to keep me awake (thanks), one of my classmates (wearing a soccer tee) also entertained me quite a bit.

"this shirt has a lot to static. you can even hear the sound!!"

-pause-

"i can feel all my nipple hair standing."


haha! info overload dear!!! :p



hard rock was fun. worth the twelve bucks, much much more worth it than the fifteen i paid on monday. (:

jerome ramos does have a good body, which makes all the moves look nicer, or was it the other way round? oh well anyway, yeah, he's got a nice toned buff bod. especially the tight round ass he kept squeezing together and shaking mid-dance, accentuated by the skin-hugging, thin, white, lycra dance pants he was prancing around in! haha. sis, time to step up on the training, hard... :p

and ilynn was there too. part of champagne. mmmm... she looked really great. sensual moves with a sultry expression on her pretty face, nice body.. and personality-wise she's a really nice girl too, as in genuinely always nice -- very caring, very down to earth, very cheerful, very encouraging, extremely friendly and she sees the best in everyone. she makes you laugh a lot with her entertaining antics, like her inability to stop laughing once she starts and her sense of direction and her taste in fashion and the way she speaks to apple (her golden retriever) and.. oh man, the list never ends! (no we don't laugh at her in a mean way but in an endearing gentle-teasing manner.) she's really good company. (:

she's beautiful inside out. 2nd totally beautiful girl i know off. these two ladies, i feel, really deserve no less than the best. *muacks!*

2:19 am

second day of school day! first day of proper lessons! ok i woke up late and had to cab midway and it isnt a good start but hey! i enjoyed the lectures! i feel encouraged. this sem will be a better one (:

my sociology lecturer is funny. in a warped way, but well, i'm into the more sarcarstic type of humour.


haha. i hope i can handle the course. according to a friend who has taken it before, it's tough. so.. fingers crossed. (:

and i think the co-op is weird (or plain stupid). if they knew that more than a thousand students were taking a module and the text is not only compulsory but also essential, you'd think they ought to know better and stock up on the books. but no, they didn't. now half the population lack course books and lectures start tomorrow. well done....

i'm turning so jaded and skeptical -- i may even already be.
things don't scare me anymore. things can't get as big a reaction from me anymore. i'm getting pretty sick of stuff. it disgusts me, makes me nauseous. yet at the same time, it amuses me. very much. i'm pretty nonchalent about stuff. i'll just sit back and smile to myself, maybe even snigger, while everyone else gets caught up in the hype. oh well. life is good. (:

10:37 pm

so miche and i went to MoS on thursday. we went there to fish. but, in animal planet words, "the hunter, becomes the hunted." haha. (:

our interesting night started one hour after it should have. (miche got stuck in venice... merchant of venice that is.) so i stood outside MoS being entertained by the funny scene of 4 guys trying to send 1 drunk guy home (i really wonder what NS teaches them sometimes), miche finally turned up and we finally got into MoS. (no queue that night. but there was a pretty hot doorbitch. :p )

at 1120 we finally went in, but the dance floor was practically empty!!! the place was crowded, people were dancing, but no one wanted to go onto the dance floor!! the horrors. after "warming up" a little, being the brave souls we were, we decided, ok, let US get the party started. we bravely strode onto the dance floor, started boogying, and amazingly, people DID start to come onto the dance floor. *wow* just as we thought everything was going fine, the system died. the music got cut (there was this ringing miche and i heard but til now i can't figure out if it was the fire alarm or the result of loud music to the ears.) and after all our effort of attracting people to join the dance floor, the dj ingeniusly cleared it with the stupid technical fault within 15 seconds. bah. it lasted for quite a while and we standing there, wondering what to do.

so just as we decided to throw in the towel and walk off, hurray! the music back came on!!! but, the crowd didn't. considering the dj was trying hard from the nice dance tunes he was playing, miche and i decided to be nice, stay on and TRY to dance. and then, we got to know some new friends! (:

by new friends, i meant people who interest us more. see, that night, we attracted all sorts of guys: angmohs guys, indian guys, malay guys, chinese guys, tall guys, short guys, cute guys, not so cute guys, young guys, older guys... and it doesnt take a genius to figure out which were the type of guys we decided to call our new friends. (:

and anyway, it was rather interesting how we got to know them. we didn't join that group of clubbers cos of the guys -- but cos a hot girl invited us to. and yes, she was hot. she was sharon, this hot law student from aussie back for hols, and man, she could move that booty. she had spunk, attitude, stamina, moves... yup, she was hot. and after us two lonely souls joined in the group of party people, the night got better and better. the music got better, the dance floor got darker, the sound system got louder, in fact for the first time that night we weren't feeling cold anymore. we were dancing so vigorously with the group of new acquaintances that we started sweating!! you won't know how thankful we were when MoS decided to turn on a bit of sprinklers and blow some really cold air onto the danced floor! *phew*

so, back to our new friends -- zing and jeremy. for 3 hours, the two guys hung around us, brought us around, danced with us, bought us drinks, chatted quite a bit, gave us their numbers (smart girls shouldn't give out their numbers to strangers), introduced us to more guys (inclusive of the marketing manager of MoS himself, a pretty cool guy who looks like a director with his hat and dress sense), danced some more. and then, i went home. :p

haha, yes i know, this is really an anticlimax but well, i was tired so that's what i did! nope, i didn't agree to supper or lunch or tea, i went home. (i'm not being mean or rude or anything but well, i'm just not used to it. if we happen to meet each other again and got know each other better outside a club, that's another story.) but anyway, to their credit, the two guys were really nice. they weren't pushy or anything, were very polite and gentlemanly, took care of us, pulled us out of range of those pesky slime-rs, and even walked us out to get me a cab. *heh* and while i was on my way to home-sweet-home, miche stayed on and joined them for supper and got sent home. for more juicy bits, ask her -- it's HER story, not mine (:

btw, miche was really hot that night. like really really hot. she looked good, danced great. wow. *tweet* (:

so all in all, good music, good company... -- the night started boring, but ended just fine (:


as much as i was having fun, throughout the whole time, i missed you. (:

2:18 am

i believe in karma. (:

if you've been nice, there's nothing to worry about. even if things aren't going well now, they will. and i'll give you a big hug for that. (:

but if you haven't and did something(s) wrong, really really wrong such that i don't even (want to admit that i) know you anymore,
YOU-ARE-FUCKED.
maybe not now, but it's going to come back and bite you hard, one way or another... just you wait.

there. you've been warned. (:

3:19 am

alright, just got back from salsa. now i'm taking a break, then going for hard rock night on the 12th (mainly to watch ilynn perform. drool...), then continuing with my break again and probably resuming my salsa lifestyle on miche's birthday salsa night. hope by then the hurt goes away and the confidence comes back. (:

tonight was interesting. tiring yet interesting. danced with good ones, smooth ones, smiley ones, sleazy ones, sweaty ones.. on1, on2. yup, it was a good mix. helps to improve i guess. started nicely with a gentle dance and ended beautifully with a dance from carlos and tips from sharon. learnt so much from her this trip she's back. really really thankful for it. it's nice that someone of that level bothers to specially observe and help you improve when she could have just simpy dance-dance-danced the night away and enjoy the much deserved limelight. *touched* (:

managed to get a dance with lesly too, after quite a long time. man, shifu is still shifu -- turns, hand changes, cokes, totally-unexpected-moves-- all done with his trademark of having his eyes closed. as usual, he looks so relaxed while doing all the whoa!-moves and at the end of the dance, i still had that same wow-when-will-i-ever-be-able-to-follow-as-well-as-he-leads awe for him as i did when he asked me for my first dance at union during my b2 days!!! haha. and tonight, i finally confirmed it, HE CAN SEE WITH HIS EYES CLOSED!! they were closed all the time yet he still could come grab me and pull me back for some cool move just a split second before crashing into someone else, about SIX TIMES! it helped pump hell of a lot of adrenaline in to the system, making the dance even more exciting and fun!!! cool stuff. guys, you gotta learn man. THIS, is living on the edge -- salsa style. and i'm pretty sure it takes lots of skill too. :p

over the fortnight that sharon was back, i learnt many things. i shall be a good student and keep her tips in mind when i'm dancing. hopefully i'll improve bit by bit and love this dance more and more. (:

2:03 am

i'm glad we cleared it up.

it sucks to be pissed at and hurt by someone you feel close to.

3:14 am

my friend reads my previous post. and i see this on my msn screen:

some-guy-from-my-tutorial-who-prefers-to-remain-annonymus says:
so i'm supposed to hurl verbal abuse at u everyday so u wun get hurt from wat i say next time?

no, it doesn't work that way!!!! :p

12:34 am

the amount of work a heat engine can do is not determined by the temperature of the hot reservoir, but by the difference in temperatures between the hot and cold reservoirs.

similarly, the amount of hurt than a person's words can inflict is not measured by how horrible sounding the words are, but by the difference in attitude you get between the person on a day he/she decides to be nice to you and on a day he/she decides to be a bitch/bastard. there, PC1431 applied in everyday life. *beam* (:

after tomorrow night, i'm letting my leather heels rest for a bit. they get to sun for a long long time, till' i'm feeling a little better inside. right now, i'm just feeling fucking demoralised and irritated.
it's not about criticism, that i can take. i've got a lot since feburary and i've improved cos of it. but being insensitive and aiming to be hurtful, hey, it doesn't feel good on the receiving end. especially when i'm trying but you just happen to not know it. i'm not the sort who goes around announcing "look!! i'm trying!!!" you know.

this is so similar to another situation i'm caught in: i have no idea if i should continue, trying to figure out if the happiness and enjoyment that comes with it outweighs the misery and hurt it can also cause. i'll just take some time off to think about it, then decide.

miss you raisin. when on earth are you getting your wrinkled puny self over here huh? (:

12:06 am

hello 2006... *wave*

it's a new year. a new start. (:

2005 has been wonderful compared to 2004. (:
the past year saw me through picking up salsa, getting my a's results, working in shenton way and hating it, working for a school and loving it, enjoying 5 months of holidays after 12 years of education, embarking onto uni life all lost and confused a freshie, meeting new friends and loving them, worrying about growing into my 20's, gathering with old friends i'd never knew i'd miss so much....
it sure doesn't sound very interesting, but the year has been great, good enough for me -- i was happier, healthier and much much safer. and that's all that matters. (:

resolutions? nah, not my style. but i aim -- for myself to be more diligent, more confident, more grateful, emotionally stronger and most importantly, more proud to be who i am. and i hope -- for everything to go smoothly, and the wisdom to handle it if things do not. (:

and maybe, just maybe, 365 days later, i'll be able to give myself a pat on the back and say "well done" and once again happy exclaim that this year has been better than the last. (:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! *hugs* (:

11:32 pm