Facebook Friday

They grow up so fast. :'(

Facebook Friday: Boring Movies and Barack the Belieber.

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See "last year's Chigurh success" below"

Sidenote: Last year's homemade birthday card.

I mean, come on.

Who wouldn't want to be my friend?

Groupies, I need your help, stat!! (Updated)

My friend Derek is up for a Bachelorette-type show hosted by Fotofly on Facebook. He is pretty much one of the funniest people I know, so he would probably be the only reason I would EVER watch something like that.

Here is a sample of his hilarity:

Those of you with Facebook accounts, please click on the photo below--it will take you to the actual voting photo.  Login and "Like" it!! This needs to be done by Wednesday night. Share it with everybody you know!!!

Thanks!!

I made a mistake,

you can vote until tonight!

Thanks again! :)

Facebook Friday: I'm in the band.

Lancelot titled this series "Logan on a Wednesday."

 

I love my friends.

ESPECIALLY KATE!!!

Facebook Friday: Llama.

I don't care what anyone says. If Facebook is the means to spread joy like this around, then so be it. It is God's social network.

So Kristy (at work) and I decided we need to make this ourselves since suits such as these are ridiculously expensive.

I'm thinking two sets of tan sweats and a furry blanket. And a spare llama head. Anyone got one lying around?

What other supplies would I need here? 

Other than moon boots?

Also, this endeavor needs some great two-person choreography and theme music. Suggestions?

Facebook Friday: Asian

BIIIIIIIIRTH MOOOOOOONTH!!!!!

Clearly, I have not been my usual blogging self.

Otherwise, I would've announced in March that Birth Month was approaching. On April first, I would had announced that Birth Month had officially begun. I would've started planning my birthday party right then, instead of leaving it until four this morning.

What do you think of a game called "Pin the peace sign on the Asian"?

Because at 4:15 this morning, it sounded pretty awesome. So did a carrot cake with maple-cream-cheese frosting, jalapeno popper stuffed pretzels, and my own cupcakes (which reportedly taste like a Snickers, although they contain not a whit of that candy bar).

Just sayin'.

I'm already nervous about trying to get people to come to this since I'm not up in Logan anymore. But that's what Facebook is for!!! A mass invitation two and a half weeks in advance! YAY!

Look what HAPPENED to me. It's a Birth Month miracle!!!

But first on my activity list for Birth Month is dinner with a friend tonight. A gypsy photo shoot tomorrow. Then a 10-mile race on Saturday. Maybe I will make a t-shirt that blares "BIRTH MONTH" to everybody. Just so no one is confused.

What else should happen at my birthday shindig?

How should I decorate?

What should we do?

Facebook Friday: Hungerrrrrr Gaaaaamessszzzzzz

I'm gonna start something called Facebook Friday. It will go until it doesn't anymore. And I'm going to start it on a Monday.

Get over it. It happened on Friday. And Saturday.

Dear The World,

I'm done chasing you. Or at least, I'm done chasing you through virtual means. And by virtual, I mostly mean Facebook. And by done, I mean until March first.

I kinda like you, World. I kinda like your inhabitants. But I especially like knowing them in real life, and I feel like this whole social network thing is keeping me from being exactly that: Social. This "staying connected" is just creating this truly disturbing disconnection. So, bye-bye.

Maybe you'll miss me, World. Maybe not. All I know is that I miss me. So you know, if you want me, here's my blog. You've got my email too. And if you're special, you've got my number. Stalk me that way, because I'm done stalking you.

But you'll have to be quick to catch me, because I'll be running.

That marathon sure isn't far off anymore. :-)

Love,
Chess

Jumble-laya

First.

I would like to clarify that my leaning in to sniff a boy is always consciously done.

Just sayin'.

Second.

My first day of work was yesterday! Hurray!

You can click HERE to learn more about my job.

It's dorky, but I'm enjoying it so far. 

I anticipate the acquirement of some cute clothes in the near future. :)

(Also, I met my friend Clark's dad, which is kind of a funny story. But not really.)

Third.

A list of things I love but shouldn't:

YSB

Corn dogs

Selena Gomez

Justin Bieber

Selena Gomez dating Justin Bieber

Infomercials

Fried foods

The Millionaire Matchmaker

Fourth.

I'm way crafty, guys!!

(My mom has a HUGE bottle of Mod Podge.)

I'll tell you about what I made tomorrow. 

Today's Facebook Status:

If you ask me if I was there at midnight,

I will have to be rudely honest and say, 

"Now that is a STUPID question."

PS. I loved it.

I Had a Nightmare!!

I dreamed that YSB Facebooked me and told me that "I read your blog and figured out who YSB is!" I may or may not have awoken due to a minor heart attack.

On a happier, more realistic note, 

Megan is back from Denmark!!! 

She is one of the Original Six (roommates) and she just returned from serving an 18-month mission for our church. I went to meet her at the airport with the rest of her family. I just love her and can't wait to be be roomies with her once again (next week)!!!

On a sillier, goofier note. I found out yesterday that I have an admirer at the restaurant. Rigo, my middle-aged friend in the bakery (who sneaks me cookies when I'm hungry), pulled me aside and told me that Manuel, one of the cooks, has a crush on me. Manuel is this super shy guy that I've gone out of my way the entire summer to big-cheesy-grin at and say "Hola Manuel!!!" to, JUST so he'll smile at me. Cos he's got one of the sweetest smiles I've ever seen.

Apparently, he wants to ask me out, which is so sad because I'm moving in a week. But I told Rigo that I think he's cute and very sweet and that he has one week to ask me, which he won't be able to tell him anyway, cos Rigo was never supposed to tell me in the first place.

This is a total LOL moment and I hate "LOL."

Awwww, but isn't it cute?!

LOL. ;-)

The Secret Life of Cops

Occasionally, during my jaunts about the neighborhood, I will see cops staking out the corners in their little cop cars. It's at times like these that I'm so glad I don't have a car. I can never get a speeding ticket, you see! Isn't that just the best?!

Inside these little cop cars, there are cute little computers hooked up.

Here is a nice example:

image found via Google

I've always wondered what they do on these computers. I know, I know, you'll probably say, "Well, duh, they are looking up _______ and _______, and all your personal information." 

Well, here's what I say to that!!

You're probably right.

But I don't think that's all! See, I have this theory that they secretly all have Facebook accounts, and when they are super bored, they stalk each other's pages and update their profiles.

For example:

Officer A is super bored and really wants a donut.

Officer B and 2 others like this.

• Officer B Like, I know, right? 
• Officer C Custard-filled, please!
• Officer D Check out this YouTube video of a DUI! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wajrQBtbb-c
• Officer E You idiot! That's fake!
• Officer D Really?!! Oops.

OR

Interests: Writing tickets, the colors red and blue, donuts, bulletproof vests, police procedural dramas...

OR

Officer B's Photo Albums

Mah 1st Arrest! Holla!!

By Officer B

In this album: Officer B, Officer C, Officer D, Officer M

Album Comments

• Officer M OMG, ur just totes amazing! so glad we celebrated
• Officer B We are sooo cute! Luv u, babe! 
• Officer D lol that guy's hair was so ugly, no wonder you arrested him
• Officer B hahaha he got sooooo mad when I took the pics of him in the backseat

OR

Facebook Chat

Officer A He was speeding! 3:38 PM

Officer E Dude, I know! Go get him! 3:38 PM

Officer A Heck no. Dude it's your turn. Oh crap he's gone. 3:39 PM

Officer E You're such a slacker. 3:40 PM

Okay. So maybe I'm just being rude. 

Sorry cops. I know there is more to your job than meets my eye.

Or IS there?!?!

Based on Today's First Post...

My Facebook status would be:

Chessie is making out with a bag of frozen peas.

(but only if I wanted to advertise that I had a fat lip, but I don't want to)

Cry for Me!

Wail with me.

Sob tears of utter despair with me.

I demand it.

I have never demanded anything of you before, 

but I'm demanding it now.

Become over, uber, melo and all other types of dramatic with me.

Cos I am not a big enough person to demonstrate

the BAZILLION ways of drama I'm feeling...by myself. 

I need you now, Groupies. 

Turn into tweeny girls with me.

Let me explain.

Remember my double-tragedy? Remember how saddening it was? This is worse. This is like a kajillion times worse. Like, oh my word, I did a faceplant on my bed, and totally kicked my feet and howled into my pillow. That kind of worse. Girls will know what I mean. Guys, you should probably tell me what your version of that is. I'm dying to know.

I went for a little run last night. When I run, I sweat. You probably do too. So then when I got home, I did some stuff around the house, drank some water, checked my email. (Checked Facebook.) Then I got in the shower around 10:00 pm. Then I got into bed. Did some reading. Surfed the net. Chatted with Jen and Erica. Finally, much later than I should ever, ever be up, I grabbed my phone to set my alarm. Which is when I noticed I had two missed calls and a voicemail. Which is really big news when you're me. 

See, I have this terrible habit of forgetting I have a phone. I leave it in my room and never answer, because frankly, no one but my mother and my grandma ever call, and I see them all the time anyway. So, it's not that I'm ignoring anybody, but I'm just so much of a social nobody down here that I usually don't need to haul my phone around. Which then leaves me open to missing calls and having to listen to voicemails.

One number I didn't recognize. Plus he/she didn't leave a message. So I looked at the next call. It was his name. The boy whose delectable fragrance haunts my dreams (okay, that's exaggerating). The one I have kinda had a jonesing for since March. He had called me. While I had been in the shower. To borrow Suzy's words, "Of all the ratsiest things!"

I listened to his message with wide eyes, crunched up at the head of my bed, knees drawn up under my chin, because that's what I do when I get nervous. Also, when I see a spider. And it went sorta like this

"Hey, this is _____.

I'll be down in the Valley this weekend,

and thought we could get together 

and maybe do something.

Call me back when you get this."

Squeal with me. I demand it.

Now imagine with me. Imagine the horror I felt when I realized this was the weekend I have a family reunion. A family reunion where I'm making the obligatory appearance and then taking myself to Logan to hang out with my dear friends. The weekend where, if all goes well with my work schedule, I am taking myself to the city in which he is residing for the summer. 

Have you ever heard of worse timing? 

I haven't had one thing to look forward to this entire summer,

but this weekend with my friends,

and now this scheduling trauma happens to me.

Oh my word.

You want to do a faceplant for me,

don't you?

What do I do?

(New FB friends: you understand that this can never, never, never, ever be discussed in FB world, right? If he somehow finds out, then it will be my fault for posting so openly, but I would hate to destroy the fledgling relationships we are building here. Haha. No, but seriously. I'm serious.)

The Fast is Over!!

I'm back on Facebook. 

I didn't miss much in the past 3 weeks.

Typical.

Ahhh, but I did some profile stalking,

and some FB rejecting,

and some photo-gazing.

I missed that.

Yes, I did. 

:-)

Why the Ban?

Simple.

I waste too much of my life on there.

So when I feel it getting bad,

I say, "No, Facebook! I banish thee from my sight!"

For a few weeks anyway.

(And.... I'm talking to the people I'm already FBFs [Facebook Friends] with,

cos I like to keep you Groupies and FBFs separate. 

I dunno why. Just one of those things. 

Hope you don't mind! Cos I still love ya!)

Not That This Matters, But...

As of today, my self-ban from Facebook has been two weeks strong!

Only one week left,

and I am available to stalk all your profiles,

gaze at all your pictures,

make fun of all your statuses (status-i?),

and ignore all your requests....

Just kidding.

(Mostly.)

:-)

And Blah.... Blah, Blah.

I wrote a post. 

But I hated it.

So I deleted it.

I have nothing to say. 

Other than I'm really glad that Kayce invited me for dinner.

And that we went to get ice-cream.

Also, that some people have to work and therefore are on Facebook chat.

Because if weren't for that,

Tonight would be the most boring Friday of my life.

Truthfully....

The subject of this song has occupied 

my entire life this summer.

So sad.

So funny.