Undone

I baked the bread.

I chopped the carrots, onions, celery, and thawed out the chicken and threw them in the crockpot for my sick, less-active neighbor.

I yelled at my kids to hurry and get in the car, to brush their hair, get on their shoes for the 10,000th time and to get off the computer because it was time to go to church. Calvin had a talk.

I was so busy making the bread and the soup that I didn't have time to have him practice it with me. Cam was at another Ward Conference.

We had to pick up the neighbors' boys (age 4 and 13) who were just starting to come back to church because their single mom was sick.

We didn't pray. We ran out the door. The kitchen was a disaster. Flour, onion and carrot peelings, and dried up milk from the cereal covered the counters.

We got to church. We were late and had to sit in the lobby during the sacrament and when we went in to the chapel Coleman refused to come. Why didn't we ever get to sit in the cooshy chairs out in the hallway? Why did we have to sit in the back of the chapel on metal chairs? The oldest neighbor boy didn't come in either. I couldn't force him. Cy and the four year old wouldn't be quiet playing with star wars dudes (why did I let him bring them?). Coleman finally came in after hiding in the gym for a few minutes but was mad as heck.

Calvin messed up on his talk. Then the husband of one of the scout leaders stopped me in the hallway and said that he had "heard" that Calvin needed some help with his pinewood derby car. Heard? What did that mean? We had a dad. We didn't need any other man to step in and be MY kids' dad to make him a car! My whole body recoiled. We have it under control, I thought. I know we aren't done with the car, but for heaven sakes the derby isn't until Tuesday! We have 48 hours! Then I got an email when I got home telling me that Calvin wasn't going to be getting any awards at the pack meeting because he hadn't finished his bobcat--something that he should have completed two months ago.

But I haven't helped him because I have been helping Sis. So and So down the street. I've been cleaning her house, making her meals, watching her children, and planning her enrichment nights. I've been talking to inactive neighbors and going to welfare meeting and presidency meeting.

But I have left the essentials undone. But wait, I thought love and service were the essentials! The Savior said in Matthew 23:23--"Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have ommitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone."

Love and service are the essentials, but I was forgetting that my children are MY work. They are MY portion of the kingdom of God that I need to seek "first" and then "all things" would be added unto me. In the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord said to Sidney Rigdon that there were many things that were "not right" in his house. He had "not kept the commandments concerning his children" and he was to "therfore, FIRST set in order thy house."

I am going to do better at this. I know I did get some important things done, but shouldn't leave my children undone.

Classic Retro

It was about 1981 and I remember waiting outside the Classic skating rink with butterflies in my tummy. I couldn't wait to get in. I could wait to put on those roller skates with the big round wheels. I couldn't wait to do the Hokey Pokey in the middle with all of those people, to hear the loud music, the lights flashing on my face. I ran my hands along the cinderblocks that made up the building and there was somebody's gum. Somehow, I don't really remember how, Jeff dared me to chew some of it. I did. The memory is vague, and is perhaps why I haven't chewed gum in the last 20 years. But, Classic Skating was huge and I was feeling brave that day.

Well, it's been just about as long since I've had a stick of gum, but somehow Classic Skating has returned to its empire. To get this new generation in, they allow you to bring your own roller blades, or even your scooters . . . and it has worked.

We went on a Monday night and the place was packed. Kids, adults, even teenagers doing tricks and rocking out to the music were there. I was impressed with Classic's ability to stay cool when they weren't for so long.

Cy and McKay loved using their scooters.

Calvin got mad at me when we fell down, as if I had pushed him.

And Coleman got scared of this guy when he kept putting his hands on Coleman's back when he passed him. "Hey," he said, "It's either that or I crash into you, kid!"

(Amazingly, he was in the back ground of one of our pictures! We really didn't follow him around for evidence, or anything.)

I only got scared when we were told to make a train and I didn't want to touch anybody else's waist in the place so I put Coleman in front. We made our own sad train, but he wouldn't touch anyone else either. Then out of the blue this huge force came behind us and this guy put his hands around my waist and started pushing. We went around a few times and I think he expected us to grab on to someone else, but neither of us were willing to touch anyone else. He eventually let go and left us in his graphite-wheel dust, but that was OK with me. I was only sad when we had to leave because they were playing Michael Jackson's Thriller and 1981 came roaring back with a vengeance.

Contracts

You'd think that maybe Coleman had aspirations to be a lawyer or something.

Unless lawyers get to write novels about or illustrate events from their cases, I kind of doubt it, but I had to draw attention to the rising number of Contracts that have surfaced in our house lately.

The first one showed up at my door, labeled just so . . .

After we had taken Calvin in to the doctor because of that runny nose that hasn't gone away for the two years since we've had the dog and the doctor told us that we should get rid of our little furry friend, I found this Contract of Refusal.

In it, Coleman lays out his refusal to get rid of Hobbsie as he is the "Eldest Child" and should have a "big say" in what goes on.

Somehow, the promise to take care of the dog more was never fully realized, probably because I was in breach of contract by not "having another baby." Oh, well. But after he and Cy signed the contract, I just didn't have the heart to get rid of our furry baby, either. The runny nose still flows.

And then the other day, I found another contract in Coleman's work from school.

It is a Writing Contract he has made with himself. He promises not to start his future "New York Times Best Seller, The Clearing" book over again (as he has done three times!). He is so intent on this that if he breaks his contract, he says he will have to "spend all his money on stupid, cheap stuff for Calvin and Cy."

Now, if that isn't pressure to keep a contract I don't know what is.

I think perhaps that Coleman is really just getting ready for the contract he hopes to sign one day with a publishing company, and then with a recording company. He currently holds a Diamond Album for his rendition of Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" on our American Idol game.

Our heart goes on for you, Coleman, too! But we don't need to sign a contract to prove it.

Stand Off

Cy and I have been having a stand off for the past 45 minutes.

Is it too much to ask that my children use the word PLEASE and SORRY?

It all started with the Letter E.

"Cy, can you hurry and get your E's done?" I asked patiently, surprised and pleased with myself that the kitchen was actually clean after lunch and I was forging through the laundry. I was the model mother . . . it only lasted about 5 seconds, though.

"I want to paint."

"Finish your E's and then you can paint."

Pouting and heat rising, he loudly insisted, "I want to PAINT," as if I hadn't heard him the first time.

I wasn't going to meltdown . I refused to . . . today. My laundry was halfway done, I was the model of efficiency . . . I was in control.

"Finish your E's and then . . . "

And then I knew it was too late. We were heading for a stand off and there was no turning back now. Cy wouldn't give up, and neither could I.

Ignoring his pleading to paint while (yeah, right) he worked on his E's, I asked if he wanted help. No response, unless you consider that downturned lip and limp body on the chair a response. So I went down to do the laundry. When I came up, he was on a mission. "Mom, I said I wanted help!" he screamed.

I was still calm. It was almost out of body for me. That laundry was getting done. "No you didn't. I asked if you wanted help and you ignored me. . . . But, would you like help?"

"I ALREADY SAID YES!" he screamed blisteringly. And then it really was over. He would not give up or give in. And I would not allow my child to talk like that to me. His emotional stability, his ability to work with future coworkers, a future wife rested entirely upon me not letting him win.

"When you are ready to ask nicely, I will help you." That didn't work. He bawled and screamed and cried and I ignored him as I folded towels and garments and socks. "Say, 'Mom, could you help me please?'" I said, sickeningly sweet.

I don't know what it is, but Please is a dirty word in Cy's vocabulary. He won't say it. He won't say it--especially not when I back him into a corner. And so he didn't. He was finally hauled off to the bathroom for time out where he kicked the door and yelled a mean word at me, for which he had his mouth washed out with soap--twice.

But eventually, he came around. About an hour later and here are the pictures to prove it. He actually did smile as he finished his E's and I didn't give in. The laundry got done and my son finally said Please.

But what I really need is for him to PLEASE not throw a tantrum for at least another week!

Following

The Book of Mormon asks us to follow the Savior down into the waters of baptism.

Calvin followed Him on December 6, 2008.

But he has been trying to follow Him long before that . . .

Jesus Christ is the creator.

He made the earth and everything on it and Calvin has always recognized His amazing creations.

As a baby, Calvin would squeel with delight pointing and gesturing at the mountains and the trees and the rocks. Calvin loves the stars, the moon, and the planets.

In his prayers he has thanked Heavenly Father for Jupiter and for all of "His outskirts and his inskirts."

Maybe that's why he's tried to invent so many things on his own. He has made moon landing gear, rocket ships, carbon dioxide air filters, astronaut suits made out of garbage bags, "technology" bottles full of tv wires, and flying machines.

The Savior is selfless and sacrificed His life for us. Calvin has tried to follow him by sharing everything from chocolate bars to socks (he gave Coleman his socks to wear on the first day of school when Coleman discovered--in Cindy's driveway-- he didn't have any).

He is also willing to do anything he can to save others from punishments or pain. Once when an un-named brother was being a pill right before a Halloween party, I threatened him with not being able to come with us to the party. From the back of the van I heard Calvin say, "Mom . . . Mom." I was too busy bawling the unnamed child out, and then finally I said, "What?

"Mom, can stay home so that (BLANK) can go. It's OK."

And there are other times . . . Like when Cy doesn't clean up his toys and the SUCKER UPPER comes out and takes them away, Cal asks if he can do a job so that Cy can get his toys back.

He truly is an angelic, Christ-like child.

At the Baptism: (Warning: This part is for family history and probably provides too much information. Feel free to scroll down to the pics at the bottom without offending anyone.)

Calvin asked Coleman to speak at the baptism. He told Calvin that he was glad that the water was warm that day because a few weeks prior a girl in our ward had to be baptized in ice cold water because the water heater had broken at the stake center. He told Calvin a story about how Cam had baptized a woman in Japan in the ocean while it was snowing. When she came up out of the water she said, "I'm warm." Coleman testified of the power of the Holy Ghost to warm us and to testify that what we are doing is right.


Calvin's cousins--Madison, Emma, and Daphne sang "I'm trying to be like Jesus" as sweetly as little angels.

After the baptism, Cam spoke about the Holy Ghost (and I have to say it was the best talk I've ever heard on the subject) and how it was like FIRE. He reminded Calvin about how much he loves to go camping, and that his favorite thing to do when he goes camping is to play with the fire. He taught us all that Fire has many uses. It provides:

warmth and comfort

light

protection from animals

power (to cook)

cleanses and purifies

(He reminded Calvin how when he uses a needle to get out a sliver,

he burns the tip of it in a flame to disinfect it.)

The Baptism of Fire, or the Holy Ghost, also gives:

warmth and comfort

light--helps us understand, gives peace, joy

protection--through warnings, teaches us to stay away from evil

power--to be more than who we are

cleansing and purification

Afterwards, (and after Kristi lost her wedding ring in the parking lot and Danny picked it up but didn't tell anyone for a month!), we had a luncheon at Cynthia's house.

Cousins Dawson and Wyatt

The new parents, Danny and Shalayne

Gorgeous, Amazing CeLisa

Calvin wanted to invite them, but I wouldn't let him.

Shalayne, CeLisa, and TJ

Jeff, Emma, and Grandpa Packer

Lisa, Nikki, and Tiffany

Kristi and Lisa

A Brother's Prayer

Last night Calvin brought this envelope to me and said, "Can you give this to the bishop?"

"Sure, but what is it?"

He walked away and I followed him into his room where he started to cry. "I'm giving this to the bishop so that Heavenly Father will bless Cy so that he will grow up to be a good boy. Can you give it to him right now?"

"Well, I can on Sunday. The Lord already knows what you offered, and he will bless Cy."

"I'm afraid he won't answer my prayer because he hasn't yet." Interpretation: Cy was still acting like the crazy 5 year old that he is . . . and God hadn't changed him yet.

I convinced him that Heavenly Father would bless Cy, but that this kind of a prayer takes years to answer. (Don't all mothers know that!) But that with Calvin's example, it would probably even go faster.

One More Bite

I have successfully finished off the last half of these peanut butter bars--

but there was that one last piece. How do you leave it sitting there like a

sipher by the sink?

He called to me. I had to just take one

last

bite,

then it would be gone forever. So much for new year's resolutions.

The Many Faces of Cy

This is Cy.

This is Cy in December.

This is the girl that Cy played with in December when he didn't have any clothes on.

This is Cy's attitude.

This is Cy's friend with a camera.

This is Cy with the camera.

This is Cy.

We'll take all of him.