Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Gah!  She’s changing things!  Run!  Run for the hills!

Here’s the deal:

I’ve fallen ridiculously behind on updating my blog roll.*  The thing is, I love reading blogs, and since installing the widget that shows when each blog on my blog roll is updated, the blog roll was as much for me as it was for you.  I just relied on my blog roll to notify me when my favorite blogs were updated.

However, this method of blog-reading has become ineffective.  First of all, the widget doesn’t always work properly, and I’d miss when one of your blogs is updated. 

Also, since becoming more involved on Twitter I’ve found the list of blogs I read grew slightly out of hand.  Basically, if you tweet and have something humorous and/or intelligent to say, that usually means you have a blog that is worth reading. And while it was difficult to update my blog roll accordingly, it was even more difficult to look at my blog roll and determine what I already read, and what I hadn’t. 

So, I am now using Google Reader to keep track of all the blogs I read. I know, welcome to 2007, Angela.

The crappy part of this is that, unless I actually click on the blog link in the feeder, it might not count as a hit on someone’s page.  This, if you’re as addicted to blog stats as I am, is tragic.  But, by having a more concise way to read 24,390 blogs, I am able to comment on more blogs, which means I am clicking on the link anyways.

The other crappy part is that you will no longer be able to see on my site when other blogs are updated.  To make up for this, I’m trying to install Comment Luv, which means that when you leave a comment it will automatically include a link to your most recent blog post.  That is, it will do so until it breaks and I will be at the mercy of the internet gods to figure out how the hell I’m supposed to fix it.  But I probably won’t have to worry about Comment Luv breaking, because so far I have been unsuccessful in installing the program in the first place.

So, I’ve removed the blog roll from the right column of my home page, and it will be replaced with a link at the top of my page that, when clicked on, will provide you with a list of the 24,390 blogs I read on a regular basis.  My hope is that you will take the time to look at the list and find at least one new blog to add to your repertoire.

Turn and face the strange.

* Every time I say blog roll, I replace it with “cinnamon roll” in my head.  It’s more delicious that way.

Usurped

Meet “Baby”:

Looks like a sperm wrapped up in a Snuggie. But what would I know?

“Baby” came into our lives a couple months after Baby (the real one) was born. It was a gift, an afterthought, for Preschooler (then Toddler). It was intended to act as a buffer to the avalanche of presents a new baby receives.

From day one, “Baby” was Preschooler's constant companion. “Baby” went to bed with her. “Baby” woke up with her. “Baby” went to daycare with her. “Baby” joined us on every car ride, fitting neatly in the cupholder of Preschooler’s car seat.

But recently, “Baby’s” role in Preschooler’s world has been usurped by a small pink teddy bear. It’s not even a real teddy bear, it’s an unnatural hybrid of a blanket and a teddy bear.

Such abominations are usually hunted down by peasants with
pitchforks and garlic. Usually

She’s had this teddy since the day she was born, and never noticed it until now. Heck, I almost put it in the “donate” pile when preparing for our move to Wisconsin.

Poor loyal “Baby!!!”

Is it wrong that Husband and I feel bad for “Baby?” It’s one thing when a childhood lovie is outgrown, but it’s another thing when it’s simply replaced.

Worst of all, I think I know where this came from. In every book or show about Santa, his sack of toys spills over with a candy cane, a toy soldier, a doll, and ... a teddy bear. In fact, Preschooler has pointed out that ubiquitous teddy bear regularly since she adopted her teddy bear.

There is hope... Baby (the real one) has had her eyes on “Baby” since day one. Today she found Baby lying abandoned on Preschooler’s bed. She instantly grabbed hold of THAT forbidden treasure, and kept it in her firm grasp until she got downstairs.

She tried to give it back to Preschooler, but the offer was spurned. So “Baby” may find a new role in life, even though Husband and I are not prepared to see any of our “babies” grow up.

Interlude In The Motherland

For the first time in over six years, I will be living in the state I was born and raised, a state I never expected to live in again. Although my profession is pretty flexible, there are very limited job opportunities in Husband’s field of expertise in our home state. Ultimately, we determined that once he graduated, we’d live wherever he’d find the best job.

After college, husband (then fiancee) and I moved to the state-next-door to attend grad school and law school, respectively. It was a “whopping” six hour drive from my hometown. My family was devastated. I might have well have moved to the moon.

After two and a half years, we were abruptly relocated to another state, now a whopping eight hour drive from my hometown and two day drive from my husband’s hometown. This was like ripping a band aid off a fresh wound; me reassuring my family and myself this was the right thing to do.

In the end, my family got used to the distance, and I did too. It was good for me.

No one in my family is shy about voicing an opinion. Always über-sensitive and eager to please, and as the baby of the family, I constantly felt under the thumb of the opinions of those I loved.

The physical distance, as well as a healthy dose of therapy on my part, changed this. I now know that my family never meant to judge, never thought any less of me, loved me any less, when I bucked their opinions.

Now that Husband’s schooling is done, we find ourselves in the position where an opportunity has come his way that would be a boon to his career and happens to be in our home state. It is a temporary position, two years tops.

So, in two weeks we will be packing up our belongings and hauling them back to the Motherland.

I am thrilled that I’ll be closer to my family, that my children will finally have ample opportunity to interact with their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I’m thrilled to be able to see old friends again.

And I hope that now that I have to ability to love myself more and have more confidence in my life choices, that when others voice their opinions, out of love and concern for me, I’ll have the confidence to believe “That is what you may think. But this is what’s right for me,” instead of feeling that I’m just not good enough for them, a false and hurtful belief to all involved.