how do you not know veggietales?!

I feel like I left the blog on a bad note from the other day with my depressing post. But I hadn't quite figured out the magical formula to write a good uphill post, so mainly I've just been spending the past few days working at my actual-paying job, coaching and cheering Tim to find a new one, and editing like the worst critic on Illumine for my first piece release this Wednesday. It kind of went something like this:

Work > Edit > Chug a Coke, Sweet Tea, and eat nachos > Work > Get no sleep > Sob > Edit

Or something like that. I'm not really so sure I worked that much, but I'd like to think I put in my best effort given my state of thought with the idea that if Tim stays jobless for too long things get dicey in the work field and then I started thinking of him on the street (which would never happen but I spaz about it nonetheless) and then I started hyperventilating and then I couldn't write so I got annoyed and, yeah.

So the past few days have been a little weird and all, and here I was thinking I was only going to post once this week about my big unveiling and all when Tim tells me he's never heard The Water Buffalo Song from Veggietales.

Um. WHAT. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW VEGGIETALES?!

I felt so bad for him that I had to play the song over my ipad to him via Skype. Of course, he just sighs and goes, "What was that?" but I'm too busy laughing to death because I cannot listen to that song without cracking up. Or singing along. Sometimes both.

But, yeah. Adventure of the day was a Veggietales spam-a-thon via YouTube. Just wait until I get him to listen to My Lips. Hehehehehehe.

Oh! And in case I haven't spammed my blog posts and Twitter enough with my mentions, don't forget this Wednesday, July 6th, is the day I'm releasing the first few chapters of Illumine for preview, along with the pretty little jacket synopsis! I'm so nervous about it, honestly, it's got me kind of twisted in knots and drinking twice as much Coca Cola and energy drinks than my stomach can probably handle in ten years.

OH. And in case you are also in the same boat as Tim, aka, S.S. Veggietales What?, here is The Water Buffalo Song!

two birds, one rocket. cataclysmic destruction.

Today is not a good day. Not a sad day, or a mad day, or even a throw-my-tv-out-the-window day. Just not a good day.

I tried to give today the benefit of the doubt this morning when I woke up by ignoring the various problems that were awaiting me. My earache had manifested into a double ear infection/swimmer's ear, I was days behind on editing, and bunches of little things that I normally wouldn't let bother me were creating a full scale nuclear warhead in my brain. Then I got the most heartbreaking news of all day.

Tim lost his job.

It's depressing to say I felt the ground come out from underneath me, but I did. It's awkward to say I felt no air in my lungs, but I did. And for a moment, I felt myself crack under the surface. We had planned for months now that next year would be the year we'd move in together, a small nest egg preserved for hard times, my first book finished and published with more in the works. The six seconds it took me to read his text telling me of his job loss, and that picture vanished.

Now I'm not saying everything is destroyed. Against all odds, Tim will find another job, I just know it. I will still publish, come hell or high water. And when the time is right, we'll move in together, just not right now. I have to be strong.

Have you ever felt like you couldn't accomplish your goals? Like you were six feet under before you even started? I'd love to hear your triumphs over your struggles, if anything but to show me that I'm not alone and we, Tim and I, can pull through this together.