Match-maker report #1

A colleague of mine is looking for a suitable candidate for her daughter, 30 yo. During one of those lunch at pantry, she mentioned this in front of others including my single neighbour but no response from him.

During one of the talk that I attended at this side of the world (where I am based now), I came across a guy - much junior, he is 32 yo - we have met a couple of times before during workshops as he is a friend of a friend (but not really my friend, more like an acquaintance). Given that there was some confusion w.r.t. to access to the venue, we got to talk while walking around the building and eventually sat down next to each other - since I know no one else there..

What we got to talk about? Well, the fact that he is still single and looking ...and me being kind, elder-sisterly and friendly, I shared my experience about guys & dating - at least from female's point of view. Like my last match-make date, the guy didn't even ask for exchange of phone numbers! He said, "I already asked for your number!"
 Indeed, he did... but much junior, remember?

After a couple of days meeting him, I thought of doing everyone a favour - put those two together - the mom looking for a guy for her daughter and him being single and all that. I contacted my colleague - she agreed. I contacted him - he agreed too, after which I asked him to think about it for 3 days (& nights of prayers) - after all he is quite a religious person.

When I called him again to pursue the matter, he told me this story:
Basically he got to know one of his students' elder sister on Fb. She is a lawyer, tall (one of his criteria) and from nearby (same home state). They were friends - got closer on Fb, never declared anything yet. Then, one day recently they got to talk about the age difference of a couple of years - 2 years if I'm mistaken - and settling down. He asked for some time to think about it... At the same he had a trip to a neighbouring country. After about 2 weeks to 1 month, he came back and his family and friends are all saying yes & the parents are ready to visit the family of the girl. But sadly, he was 15-minutes too late - he received her wedding invitation instead!

It seems that she asked him about the issue before hand due to a wedding proposal received by her parents who then said, if she got no one else or a boyfriend, why not settled down with this proposal guy - who is a son of a family friend or something. Given that no news for quite some time from him (my unlucky male friend), she felt that she had no other options other than to accept the proposal for marriage! That guy, the one who proposed, knew how lucky he is to get her thus the wedding was arranged within such a short period of  - a month! My friend was heart-broken...

Well, I'm now in a difficult place - I already arranged for exchange of photos between him and the mother of the girl as well as the girl's phone number. I told him, just go to the wedding and don't forget to bring a wedding gift or something - you are not meant to be with her, just wish her the best and move on lah...

Until today, I have yet to ask him on his moves - Did he contact the girl? ...and I'm scared - what if the mother ask me?

Terima kasih Pencuri!!!

Note: I wonder why I didn't publish this one from such a long, long time ago?
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Monday, early morning - I regretfully fb-announced the lost of my relatively new white-grey-&pink-girly sport shoes (my mistake – left it outside & overnite for airing) after serving moi for only a month!?

Now, the Shoe Thief left me with no other choice except to go ahead & buy that (almost) RM300 & made-of-leather shoes!! Wroarrrr!! Expensive for sure!!!

Ops, ok – lets start again.

Last Sunday, for the first time, I went for a jogwalk at the Kebun Bunga. But, I’ve been consistently jog (okey-okey, brisk walk if you prefer it that way) in & around campus, or at the lakeside, a couple of times during weekdays or weekend – so that good sporty shoes are really important to me. The old ones that I’ve had been using are so worn out, after more than 2 & a half year of usage, such that the right hand side sole is in danger of breaking apart… On the occasion of a new place & new jog-buddy(s), I thought – I deserved a replacement!

Since I’ve just moved here, at The Island– no salary yet – I couldn’t see myself wasting my Mak’s Precious-Given $$ unnecessarily. So, even if my heart yearn for that Dark & Handsome Shoes which is made of genuine & full leather & very costly – after much look around with my personal shopper cum advisor at the Queen’s Mall – I had to settle for that non-measly & still costly RM69.90 rubber & synthetic girly ones with a promise to wait for the next sale (put permanently marker on the Store) & have to remind myself to set aside some $$ from now on - for that Handsome One. Not that I had ever buy a whatever-shoes which cost me more than RM150! *dilemma*

Why would I be a sucker for that Handsome One? Well, back when I was doing my 1st degree – during one of the winter student gathering, they organized a jungle trekking somewhere in Wales. Came totally unprepared, but don’t want to miss the opportunity to traverse the backwater & mountain area, I had to buy a suitable shoes on the spot! Couldn’t be bother with the price – well, it was still relatively cheap there anyway. And, wearing that shoes – it felt so heavenly – so light (winter shoes are heavier), I was flying!! Trodding upon the countryside, with unexpected flakes (or was it ??) falling…..making merries with friends – loads of them..

Fast forward a good 6, 7 years after that, the shoes had served me (& one peminjam at least) on alternate days of (real) jog at the stadium track or in training. Too bad, as I tend to take things for granted & simply assumed that everybody is kind blablablah…..I left the shoes in the ho(s)tel (alongside other personal things too) during one semester break (already started my 3rd degree by then). I guess, someone chance upon & took one look at them thus thought, “..how nice the shoes will shod his/her feet during gutter-cleaning etc.!”

P/s 1: BTW, where are the infamous monkeys of the Kebun Bunga? None to be seen at all. I was desolate. The one & only monkey we saw earlier, half-way to Kebun Bunga, was coolly crossing the road using the electric cable!

P/s 2: If, and only if, I ever get my hand on that Handsome One, he gonna ‘sleep’ with me on the other side of the door! *In the mean time, had to mend my old ones lor..or no jog at all?*

P/s 3: Hear ye, hear ye!! I cast a spell from here, now & after, that the Shoe Thief’s Whatever-Shoes will cause him/her an eternal discomfort, gangrene, bisul, cagu (muahahahaa!!) & thus Smelliest Feet over the Seven Seas!!!
*Told ya, don’t mess with me*
Unless s/he repent..(no need to return my shoes back coz it will be smelly & infectious too)

P/s 4: If you thought that I purposely ‘entice’ the Shoe Thief – Teett!! Sorry you’re dead wrong – I live in a ‘gated community’, end of the road. There’s only 12 mini-apartment for mostly singles in the 3-storey block. The family with 3 kids downstairs left a whole rack of shoes outside their door. Not even the three resident-doggies which kind of adopt themselves (but very respectful of us-human) around are interested!

Rad, you dah gemok!!

Said my neighbour yesterday at the office corridor, a male, who has no reason to suck up to me. Then, an administrative lady downstairs also said the same thing - arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Especially on my cheek sides, she said. I did ask few other colleagues/friends but I guess they were not being honest, "No lah.. manade.. maybe baju (blouse) you pakai tu.." Tsk-tsk...

But, but it has been only 4 weeks since I have been gone to my alma mater. I did climb onto my digital weighing scale yesterday: 59.1kg, which is a bit scary but still acceptable since my weight basically yo-yoing between a maximum of 61kg and a minimum of 56.5kg (immediately post-Ramadhan last year). If only I manage to reach down to 52kg by shaking off my current excess luggage of 10kg....*sigh* dream on lah!

For the past 4 weeks, I had been running/jogging only once (the week before last week) plus a Z*mba session (last Wednesday) and on the treadmill on Saturday for 5.3km (45 minutes - I missed my thrice weekly gym session!). Food wise, I'm spoilt with choices - no nice char kue teow yet - but a plate of huge Nasi Ayam P*nyet at only RM4? Better than McD, special burger with lotsa veggies & wrap in egg at only RM3.20? Today's lunch at UNIK*B, RM5 for rice with kerabu goreng sambal, sweet-sour fish fillet and kangkung belacan plus lime drink summore? There is no cooking (gantung kuali) for me, except once or twice on weekends at my hometown. Just now, when I asked whether the fried rice & noodle selections are available - soon she said!  - the cashier also mentioned that the selection of stalls (including Arabic et al. as well as waffle/churros uols) are open 24/7! Wow....

I imagine it is pretty convenient for those in my faculty as well as those studying at the library to come out for air and replenish their energy too with good food and don't forget the spirit of entrepreneurship being nurtured (since stalls are being managed by students (local & foreign) themselves  - but I saw Indo workers too - obviously for Ayam P*nyet). But, I'm concern now about the environmental impact, I can smell the fried chicken whenever I go to the ladies at the end of the corridor on my 4th floor; I see the monsoon drain water clogging, not moving and oily, rubbish simply throw on the ground, eyesore in terms of stacks of tables, used banners put indiscriminately etc. I wonder about the proper cafes on campus and hall of residences - are they making enough money to continue their existence?

Talking about my recent gym session, sadly after about 2 years in existence, it is not properly managed. The entrance lock to the male side is jammed so the guys have to enter through the ladies side. While I was on the treadmill, a mother came in with her two kids, one about kindy or primary school age and the other around 3-4 yo. The thing is, the two treadmills are facing the wall, with no mirror. There is no way for you to know what is going on behind you, other than through sounds, or even who come in or go out. Knowing how kids and siblings are, they started to play by themselves and bicker, and the mother shouted at them while running on the treadmill next to me. And repeated the scene a couple of times. At one time, one of the guards came in & said (with a small voice) no kids allowed inside the gym and she became so mad, "I can take care of my kids lah!"  She kind of included me in the exchange but I choose not to say anything as I believe the gym is a dangerous playing ground for small kids due to equipment laying around (dumb-bells, weigh machine etc.) and given the poor maintenance and lack of caring attitude by the users, there are broken or damage parts which even I know not where to put back. I wish the father cum hubby are caring enough to look after the kids while the wife is spending time to take care of her health .. too much to hope for?

So far, I sign up only for PB*M HM n November, no other events.. which mean no urgency to keep to my training schedule. Oh, forget about better pacing too .. my knees are bothering me too especially going down the stairs.

P/s: My baju kurung for raya are ready - all 4 of them! I still need to go back to PEN next month to settle  my road tax & insurance stuff as well as few other things.
The one whose name I shall not mentioned - still no news of flight tix! I thought her extension only until May 24th, this Sunday? Aiyaiyai... I thank God for no sight of her during the short trip.

I am not that strong yet!

Do you know what I wish most w.r.t. to him?

I pray to Allah so that ..
1. I have the strength to forgive him so that I can forget and let go!
2. To never see him again, out of my eye sight ...and if ever we met again one day in the future, I wish for us to be strangers!
3. May Allah takes good care of his two daughters whom I never wish  to be in my position, to feel what I felt before..

And today, of all the place and time, I look up during a brief pause in conversation - and there he was!

I stumbled, lost my train of thoughts and I just feel the most urgent need to walk away...

Count my blessings..

During long lunch break today, Ss, Nr & me went to visit kak Mz. She was part of my phd buddies during the 'long gestation period' in u*m (even if she was not actually registered in our faculty). On recent Wednesday, Ss passed the shocking news that Mz's hubby passed away last Tuesday - it was so unexpected! He was driving to work, perhaps had some sort of a sudden heart attack (no earlier history) and crashed onto a street light upon merging into the main traffic at highway.

And she was crying while we're listening to her immediate experience upon getting that phone call! She told us the importance of not locking our phone, in her hubby's case, lucky he brought along another phone from which the passerby used to make calls to the kids (based on call history: those two in school - not picking up - no hp in school even, then the one in college). Then her only son - the one in college- called her (who was driving to work in another direction) & said only that the father has had an accident and the ambulance was on the way. In actual fact, the father passed away immediately upon impact - total loss/damage to the car.

According to her, he was a very good son (taking care of his mother who lives together with them) & a loving husband as well as doting father to their 4 kids. The good ones are usually taken early... I remembered the story that she told us a long, long time ago (seems to me like that), how sweet their early relationship was.. she had many admirers but he was the brave one, thus they got married while still studying in US. In particular, since she was petite while he was considered huge, he used to carry her literally!

I feel her loss...to a certain extent, I can only imagine...

2 months and 2 days.. (part 1)

So, this is the story of my ex-housemate of 2 months and 2 days.. 

Instead of Feb 1st, her arrival was delayed to Thursday, February 19th. Basically, after more delays and I waited and more waiting, she arrived almost the next day, close to midnight.

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Prologue:

When I was kindly asked to host her some time late last year, I already make it known that I won’t be around from mid-April onwards – no, no problem at all coz the 1st Prof (1P) did left her that night at my place (under my care) fully prepared with his old BB phone & contact no. of a lady taxi driver so that it is easy for her to move around – just give her a call any time. Oh, BTW, it costs her RM30 per 20 minutes trip to the office – even the shorter distance to the eport, less than 10 minutes away, normally costs a minimum of RM20-25.

My preparation consisted of installing an AC unit for her room, paid by her ‘unreturnable deposit’ – thank you very much (refer to the entry in January 2015). The 1P came a couple of times to my place, first to inspect the unit with his wife when I wasn’t around (given that I, who was away & already gave him the keys to my place, he should have the courtesy to inform me BEFORE going in to check instead of after, no? She also agreed on this matter); second to pass along her comfy package for her long stay: prayer clothes, bottles of honey (coz later she told me she is taking medicine for controlling her cholestrol level such that no intake of carbohidrate from rice, pasta & no-NO sugar!), set of fluffy towels (fact:  I already prepared the room with new towel, blanket, snack & toiletries too), toiletries, chocolates & other snacks.

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I was told that since she travelled all the way from Montr*al (it was still winter there), long transit and wasn’t feeling well a couple of weeks before that, she might spend the next couple of days mostly sleeping – her jetlagged. But, it was very important for her to look presentable come Monday, thus I was supposed to help find her a hair salon to colour her grey hair – she is 50, BTW..

I cooked rice noodle soup with meat balls for Friday lunch which I shared with her. She ran out of cigarettes so the 1st trip was to walk downstairs & cross the main road to the grocer to buy her cigarettes – she wanted B*nson & H*dges but without the gory pix on the boxes, and the difference between light & non-light whatever... We passed by a Muslimah hari salon and spa – oh, I didn’t know this! – so we make it a point to visit the spa on the next day. She wanted body massage, colour her hair but using her own product –which she brought along -  Made in Italy or something. After a long discussion on Saturday’s 2nd trip, we made an appointment for her hair colour thing on Sunday – by the owner herself - and thus I spent my better half of Saturday accompanying her during the body massage. Oh, it was her birthday month too & she got discounts for the treatment. And we came again on Sunday afternoon, at 2pm for her hair appointment & again my unofficial duty as chaperon or something until almost 7pm. I did bring a long a journal article to read but ended up taking care of the owner’s bored little lady. 

She, the owner, was divorced from her 1st husband, a Chinese Muslim convert and they have 2 boys together –which I got to meet at the end of the long session. Interesting boys especially the younger one who goes to religious school & asked me why did she, not the mother obviously,  not covering her hair & I explained – similarly in Malaysia, there are Muslims who pray and also those who do not pray, those ladies who cover their hair & those who do not.... I, who was wearing pants & dark long-sleeve t-shirt & scarf, asked, “How about what I’m wearing now? It is decent – does it covers my aurah?” He said, “Hmm.. ok, but where is your socks? Perhaps you should wear an inner too coz bits of your hairs are shown...” Ouchh! Insya-Allah I promised him that I’ll do better.... He introduced me to Rude by Magic band from Canada! His elder brother is too shy...wanna be a footballer.

I don’t want to go into details...so, here are more snippets! From the first couple of weeks...

1. 8 o’clock is too early for me to go to office... (but, but before you were here, 7:30am I’m already in the office...and I was supposed to wake you up daily for Subuh remember?)

The 1P told me that the reasons he invited her *a two times hajjah plus umrah* here were to make her closer to being a practising Muslim; you need to show a good example to her in terms prayers, reading the Quran, fasting etc. She really needs/wants to quit smoking too. 

2. You have no hot shower – the water is so cold!  (told her, you can boil some water then.. I suspected she didn’t shower for days hahaha)

3. You should do your eye brows – it is not neat! (where she comes from, used to be a French colony & you know Frenchwomen how la...)

4. You are a good housekeeper! (I know this old trick, you wanted me to continue taking care of the house with you doing nothing right?)

5. She wanted to spritz her perfume on me before we went out of the house – no-No-NO!!!  Whyyy?? You don’t like the smell? (in Islam, .. *sigh* )

6. I wanted to go sight-seeing..that is why I’m here in Malaysia despite my busy schedule at work in Montr*al ..

7. Aren’t you tired of your daily routine of house-office-house? Don’t you want to go for coffee? Meet up people? (FYI, I have a well regimented & fulfilling life of my own: get out of the office by 5pm at the very latest to beat/avoid the unnecessary heavy traffic, 5:30-6:30 at the gym twice on weekdays; 7-8pm from Mon to Thurs for the #TemanL*lakiUpahan & later added with 6:30-7pm for #SuamiS*belahRumah cum dinner; tired, be in bed with some readings & usually nod to sleep after Isya’ & wake up early the next morning..)

8. You have to get married my sister! Otherwise, one day, you woke up, you realised that you are 50 and lonely! (See, meet-up-new-people above..)

9. (Everything is ..) Fisabillah! (She was asking for a discount in buying scarves for her mom..)

10. Wallahi!! You are like my sister.. I’m a musafir!! I need you... (Erm... for 3 months - you still a musafir?)

11.  Checklist of appointments that she needed to fulfill: dentist, tailor, massuese for her frozen shoulder, health clinic on campus, optician for her eyes, etc. etc.

So, on the next weekend, I made plan to spend one whole day sightseeing in Penang with her, “We should started early in the morning, 8am at the Penang Hill, then lunch some where on the way towards Batu Feringghi for the beach view & afternoon at the Chinese New Year Celebration going on at that time at the Heritage area.”

Oh, we went out of the house AFTER 10am.. after PH - about 2 or 3pm, “I’m tired... I want to go home..” On the way home, “Don’t you want to go out for coffee?” “I can sent you there but you need to come back on your own..”  Case closed!

On Sunday, we went to Qbay .. I treated her to coffee  - it was buy 1 free 1  & for her birthday too!

Don’t forget the one other time we went to Qbay after work just to find her the most suitable haircomb! God, I surrender.... And the road driving instructions... 

The most suitable Malay proverb comes to mind: Takde pasal, cari pasal...

Blog theme

I love French - whatever basic French language that I still remember after almost 18 years; 'moi' for I and 'amour' for love. Add a dash of Manglish, ah moy! And mixed them well - perfecto (which is Spanish, of course).

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Last Labour Day weekend, one of my SIL's niece got married. To a foreigner - Pak*stani. Nothing new to shout about except for her mahar or dowry of RM30K! Yes, exactly RM30,000. In fact for Selangor, the standard dowry is RM300. In comparison, my neighbour's step daughter got engaged on the same day with said/expected dowry of RM12K. Both are graduates - well, worth mentioning I guess.

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So today, a well-meaning colleague pushed me from a distance to accept a friend request on Fb. From her contractor, a Pak*stani guy with PR, wife passed away, excellent credential and everything. Initially, when she asked whether I'm ok marrying a foreigner with PR, I just said, as long as the guy is 1. not married and 2. take care of his solat, I'm ok.
But immediate friend request from him? Got me scared already. So basically I chickened out, i gave the excuse of not ready to let go, still thinking of the last one blablabla.. I'm thinking, what is the probability that this guy would understand me *being a very difficult me* and still stand by my side? We come from different background, culture and everything..

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There was this one guy closer to me in terms of relative distance - well, we work under the same roof. I kept my distance from him since 2010 due to some misunderstanding on my part - no knocking/barge in on his door, not saving his number in my contact list. As recent in January, he messages - I was out-stationed, obviously he got my no. from other colleague - with respect to a proposal for a programme. Then a series of recent occurrence make me questioned his motive: asking me to send him to the airport just because the normal taxi wasn't available at the last minute; giving only me (normal practice - just put any food on the table at the pantry for everyone in the office) a huge slice of cake in pretty box, knocking on my door and asked for not really important things BUT when I showed some responses I guessed he is not ready & chickened out - a repeat of yesteryear! I am giving him lot of space for now...literally.

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And there was the proposal at home on March 19th 2015. At the age of almost 40, at last somebody in my hometown noticed me, sufficient to send someone (a neighbour) with a marriage proposal. Alas, it was rejected straight away and I was only informed afterward. He is about my 2nd bro age of about 55/56, with his wife passed away, mature kids, used to be the assistant manager in my hometown such that the official residence was in front of my mak's place. So, the reasons being: he didn't treated his late wife right - shouted at her in public, cat-fighted with my sister, hurt my mak's feeling on one occasion such that she said, if he marries me then she will have to hate her son-in-law forever. Ouch.

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And there was that one date, almost a date, at the ripe age of almost 40 again, in mid January. I was willing to make the effort of going out of my way just to meet him, it was organized by the matchmaker but after 1 hour of sitting together in front of other people, i realized he is not going to do anything ...still not exchanging our hp number to this day. No, nothing.

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Well, if you managed to read this far, basically this blog is all about my quest for the One. Not the most perfect but just perfect for moi. I really thought I have found him, I waited years for him (between 2010 and 2015 and maybe I'm still waiting; did you guy watch that yo*tube/fb video on catfight with script for lovers' quarrel? hahaha) ...but he is not ready yet. Any excuse is a good excuse huh?

20150427 What’s new?

Well, I’m done with searching for The One – mi amour - all I have had the opportunities so far to met, only Frog Princes - and I’m FOUR-ZERO this year. Nope, no pressure at all, I’m quite sure by now if it’s meant to happen, it will happen... with the right person for moi!

I am grateful to Allah for all his endless blessings: I have my mak (so many of my close colleagues are now with no parent(s), either ones or both) and my still complete-8 relatively healthy siblings (3 brothers and 5 sisters; we started to discuss our pain in body parts here and there now) as well as 31 nephews and nieces, and still counting! They are all in my hometown or close by with exception of 1 or 2 nephews who are now soldiers based in KT & PD.

I am the one being far away (it is 5 ½ hour drive – best record so far; non-stop except once to fill up petrol, need to speed up a bit lor hence very early morning departure usually after Subuh) but I’m not complaining since my families love to drive up north and visit me. One SIL is already considered an honorary visitor with the most number of visit per annum: 4 times last year!

I love my work! I love my colleagues, well obviously not all of them but I have enough; some of them as my close friends; I volunteered at the Botanical Garden ; I am now a runner! I run HM for less than 3 hours – personal best of 2:45 (cannot compared to the winner of 1:14 hehehe). My pacing used to be 8:30 to 9 minute per km when I first started back in 2012 but now I am aiming for less than 7:30 minute, 6 minute to be exact – so that I can complete my 10K in under 1 hour *dream on*.

My abode – well, it is really a 20 stories apartment with my 850 sq ft unit on the 15th floor; balcony facing the sunset, wow -  alhamdulillah! I have yet to fully decorate the house, still thinking of the perfect wall paint colours vs wallpaper and stuff but I have had the housewarming with family and friendsin 2013; Eid parties twice in 2014 to accommodate limited space for sit-down guests as well as to separate the academic ladies and adminsitrative staff – easier to tackle, there were those who love to bring along their beloved hubbies even if I said in the invitation – ladies only! I have good neighbours in general (except for one); 4-poster bed (my princess bed, I called it), well-equipped kitchen (plus airfryer – hahaha seldomly used, pemanggang ajaib – never used, still in its box; minus microwave coz it is bad for us) such that I was able to take in a long-time guest (never, ever again – long story here) but I’m now thinking of joining AirB&B .. No bathtub in the unit but the apartment does have a non-Olympic size pool and wading pool for kids, separate gym for men & women – perfect for my training (except it opens at 9am,  on a Sunday? Come on,  I’m a morning person!)

On last week basic medical check up, the nurse complimented me on my good heart pressure and sugar level readings. I need to continue signing up for running events (next PBIM in November 22nd) and keep up my training. I, sort of, lost my running partner recently – she’s still having knee problem (she took 4 ½ hours to complete our last HM) & nowadays move on to cycling. And come September hopefully, I’m going to start again the weekly Friday noon ladies’ aerobic session. I would love to climb Kinabalu again, or Jerai (with a resort stop at the top – wow!) or any other mountains/hills – yet to do Broga or Gunung Datok in N9.

I have had also the opportunity to attend 5 basic Hajj courses – I am  appealing to go for Hajj with my two brothers and their respective wives. I really hope that I will get the offer soon so that I can make serious preparation to go from now, insya-Allah.

Surprisingly I am jotting this down at the library – the same place where I used to be, back during my miserable years. I’m only half miserable this time, hahaha.. trying to write my paper(s) now. I still have good friends here, to stay overnight with as well as join me for dinner (breaking of fast today).

On the same day I found out the reawakening of the bloggers...